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Topic: In Generally Speaking
delilady Joined Fri 07/24/09 Posts: 23825	Wed 05/09/12 08:07 PM
We all know couples who have large age spans, I do anyway. It seems to me that 'society' whispers 'cougar' when the woman has chosen younger and has admiration for a man who has chosen younger. Yes, very unfair. your right bro i see so many dating in different age brackets and i think people should admire that , cause to many are narrow minded and never open up their horizon, and maybe if they did talk to couples in different age groups or see more they may think and open up but its their choice :) cheers thanks for your input 28 years in a relationship with an age difference would qualify me as one who has personal experience and not just offering an opinion without having lived it

delilady Joined Fri 07/24/09 Posts: 23825	Wed 05/09/12 08:08 PM
Could you ladies name a view things that makes age a difference specifically? If you do it might make it easier for those of us who don't care so much about it to explain why. For example in my case, one who has traveled all their life and is deeply involved in music and business. Someone who has spent all but 6 weeks a year at times home. Someone who didn't write their first personal check for something until they were 41. Someone who kept 3 homes running at one time. Someone who got college by tutors on a bus. Someone who probably has a far different life from what many of you would call norm. How would you even have a clue to what I would need or want age wise? You who live by the 9 to 5 sometimes have no idea that there is another huge world out there that is way outside of your thinking. People lives who run on a completely different set of values, time lines and responsibilities. A partner for many of us has nothing to do with age and everything to do with compatibility. I've met women that are 25 with way more experience than the older small town woman. I have also met 60 years olds with more open minds than teenagers. Suggesting that there is an age group for people like myself or others like me would be very limiting as we do not look for the same things in a partner. Another example. Someone like my self literally has no time to go around in useless arguments. My partner has to be fast on her feet and be able to move quickly through lives decisions. In my wife's case she needed someone who did not get jealous and handle her being a world traveler. Neither of us had time for domestic troubles so we both had others hired to take care of the "small things". Those small things to us were probably big things for other couples. What I'm saying is in many cases outside of norm ( what is norm) exist a world that very much deserve love but doesn't care about the same things as many others do. And just as I would not understand what you would need in the lifestyle that you have lived neither could you comprehend living a lifestyle where it is paycheck to paycheck, a choice has to be made to pay the mortgage or buy food or the decision to stay in a marriage because leaving would mean that your children would have to give up the only home they have ever known. I married someone 12 years older. It may not have mattered much at 25 and 37 but the older we got the bigger the difference. When one spouse it thinking of retirement and the other in no where near that point if life, age difference becomes a factor. Maybe it would have been different if we were financially able to both retire but that was not the case. He is happily remarried to someone his own age and I am free to seek the company in my age group. Also when it comes to children, my ex was 40 and 47 when our sons were born. Although he was very active in their sports, they always hated having the father who was the age of some of their friends grandfathers. Here are just 2 examples of where age is a factor. Yes, actually I totally get it if someone wants a person their own age. I also get it when someone doesn't Well you asked for a few examples

mg1959 Joined Thu 04/05/07 Posts: 7872	Wed 05/09/12 08:12 PM
I guess what I don't get is why people get bent out of shape over others' preferences. Age is just one of these preferences. LOLLLLLLLLLLL no 1s bent out of shape but i do see you love to start up on different people over nothing like just by that comment right there lolll i don't care who you chat to or when you do or what age either lolllll so may i ask who is bent out of shape??????????? Hey, no problems here. If you want to date women of all ages, go for it! Sing, see here's what cheer up is talking about. He never said he wants to date women of all ages. He is saying it doesn't matter what age he or anyone else chooses.

mg1959 Joined Thu 04/05/07 Posts: 7872	Wed 05/09/12 08:13 PM
Could you ladies name a view things that makes age a difference specifically? If you do it might make it easier for those of us who don't care so much about it to explain why. For example in my case, one who has traveled all their life and is deeply involved in music and business. Someone who has spent all but 6 weeks a year at times home. Someone who didn't write their first personal check for something until they were 41. Someone who kept 3 homes running at one time. Someone who got college by tutors on a bus. Someone who probably has a far different life from what many of you would call norm. How would you even have a clue to what I would need or want age wise? You who live by the 9 to 5 sometimes have no idea that there is another huge world out there that is way outside of your thinking. People lives who run on a completely different set of values, time lines and responsibilities. A partner for many of us has nothing to do with age and everything to do with compatibility. I've met women that are 25 with way more experience than the older small town woman. I have also met 60 years olds with more open minds than teenagers. Suggesting that there is an age group for people like myself or others like me would be very limiting as we do not look for the same things in a partner. Another example. Someone like my self literally has no time to go around in useless arguments. My partner has to be fast on her feet and be able to move quickly through lives decisions. In my wife's case she needed someone who did not get jealous and handle her being a world traveler. Neither of us had time for domestic troubles so we both had others hired to take care of the "small things". Those small things to us were probably big things for other couples. What I'm saying is in many cases outside of norm ( what is norm) exist a world that very much deserve love but doesn't care about the same things as many others do. And just as I would not understand what you would need in the lifestyle that you have lived neither could you comprehend living a lifestyle where it is paycheck to paycheck, a choice has to be made to pay the mortgage or buy food or the decision to stay in a marriage because leaving would mean that your children would have to give up the only home they have ever known. I married someone 12 years older. It may not have mattered much at 25 and 37 but the older we got the bigger the difference. When one spouse it thinking of retirement and the other in no where near that point if life, age difference becomes a factor. Maybe it would have been different if we were financially able to both retire but that was not the case. He is happily remarried to someone his own age and I am free to seek the company in my age group. Also when it comes to children, my ex was 40 and 47 when our sons were born. Although he was very active in their sports, they always hated having the father who was the age of some of their friends grandfathers. Here are just 2 examples of where age is a factor. Yes, actually I totally get it if someone wants a person their own age. I also get it when someone doesn't Well you asked for a few examples Yes I did, and thank you.

delilady Joined Fri 07/24/09 Posts: 23825	Wed 05/09/12 08:16 PM
I guess what I don't get is why people get bent out of shape over others' preferences. Age is just one of these preferences. LOLLLLLLLLLLL no 1s bent out of shape but i do see you love to start up on different people over nothing like just by that comment right there lolll i don't care who you chat to or when you do or what age either lolllll so may i ask who is bent out of shape??????????? Hey, no problems here. If you want to date women of all ages, go for it! Sing, see here's what cheer up is talking about. He never said he wants to date women of all ages. He is saying it doesn't matter what age he or anyone else chooses. I totally agree that we all get to choose. Afterall, I did choose older. I am just trying to point out that age is not the only factor. Wanting a family and financial stability play a major part if you are looking for a lifetime partner. If you are looking for causual dating than age will never be a major factor

mg1959 Joined Thu 04/05/07 Posts: 7872	Wed 05/09/12 08:17 PM
RIGHT ON BRO:) ... i kind of think you meant stick in the mud ? ......stick-in-the-mud - definition of stick-in-the-mud by the Free Online ... Also found in: Idioms, 0.01 sec. stick-in-the-mud (st k n- -m d ). n. pl. stick-in-the- muds Informal. One who lacks initiative, imagination, or enthusiasm also...........Urban Dictionary: stick in the mud Someone who prefers to allow things of seeming enjoyment pass them by Someone who prefers to "stick" (stay, remain) in the "mud".....also ......one who is slow, old-fashioned, or unprogressive; especially : an old fogy. .........but i agree on that too bro nothing wrong with saying that cheers So tell me, how does someone who has an age preference fit the above definition? thats so simple to answer .......One who lacks initiative, imagination, or enthusiasm to even give others a look out of their age bracket :) cause some don't open their imagination or they just judge on age before they know a person or lacks initiative to even try , see having a preference of age is up to a person ,but judging a person by their age before you know the person is just wrong in my opinion :) do you think everyone in their 20s is immature? Again, right on bro! So folks are you calling 20 year olds immature?

Cheer_up Joined Tue 11/02/10 Posts: 3269	Wed 05/09/12 08:17 PM
We all know couples who have large age spans, I do anyway. It seems to me that 'society' whispers 'cougar' when the woman has chosen younger and has admiration for a man who has chosen younger. Yes, very unfair. your right bro i see so many dating in different age brackets and i think people should admire that , cause to many are narrow minded and never open up their horizon, and maybe if they did talk to couples in different age groups or see more they may think and open up but its their choice :) cheers thanks for your input Ah, I'm starting to get it. You think that because some date in different age groups, that everyone should give it a try. You have to realize, though, that everyone is different. What works for some may not work for others. Why should everyone try and be the same? did i say that?lolllllllllll i said its "their choice" i notice you try and twist peoples words , or maybe you need to just think a bit more lolllll IN my opinion i think everyone should do what they want but should not have such a narrow minded view or judge on a age before they know a person, its like a simple opinion lolllllllllllll

Cheer_up Joined Tue 11/02/10 Posts: 3269	Wed 05/09/12 08:17 PM Edited by Cheer_up on Wed 05/09/12 08:19 PM


mg1959 Joined Thu 04/05/07 Posts: 7872	Wed 05/09/12 08:19 PM
We all know couples who have large age spans, I do anyway. It seems to me that 'society' whispers 'cougar' when the woman has chosen younger and has admiration for a man who has chosen younger. Yes, very unfair. your right bro i see so many dating in different age brackets and i think people should admire that , cause to many are narrow minded and never open up their horizon, and maybe if they did talk to couples in different age groups or see more they may think and open up but its their choice :) cheers thanks for your input 28 years in a relationship with an age difference would qualify me as one who has personal experience and not just offering an opinion without having lived it And you are right, that's how it happened for you.

delilady Joined Fri 07/24/09 Posts: 23825	Wed 05/09/12 08:23 PM
We all know couples who have large age spans, I do anyway. It seems to me that 'society' whispers 'cougar' when the woman has chosen younger and has admiration for a man who has chosen younger. Yes, very unfair. your right bro i see so many dating in different age brackets and i think people should admire that , cause to many are narrow minded and never open up their horizon, and maybe if they did talk to couples in different age groups or see more they may think and open up but its their choice :) cheers thanks for your input 28 years in a relationship with an age difference would qualify me as one who has personal experience and not just offering an opinion without having lived it And you are right, that's how it happened for you. Exactly. So when I say that yes I would not date someone much younger or much older it is based on life experience and not because I am narrow minded or a stick in the mud. So just as I would never say that no one should date older or younger, you and cheer cannot say that because someone chooses not too they are not open minded.

mg1959 Joined Thu 04/05/07 Posts: 7872	Wed 05/09/12 08:28 PM
I guess what I don't get is why people get bent out of shape over others' preferences. Age is just one of these preferences. LOLLLLLLLLLLL no 1s bent out of shape but i do see you love to start up on different people over nothing like just by that comment right there lolll i don't care who you chat to or when you do or what age either lolllll so may i ask who is bent out of shape??????????? Hey, no problems here. If you want to date women of all ages, go for it! Sing, see here's what cheer up is talking about. He never said he wants to date women of all ages. He is saying it doesn't matter what age he or anyone else chooses. I totally agree that we all get to choose. Afterall, I did choose older. I am just trying to point out that age is not the only factor. Wanting a family and financial stability play a major part if you are looking for a lifetime partner. If you are looking for causual dating than age will never be a major factor And I think all we are saying is, it is different for every one. Age has nothing to do with finances. Some people it takes a while to have financial gain and others at a very young age achieve it. Shouldn't we all agree that it is what ever works for them and not what worked for a few. That's all I'm saying. I don't want someone to think that dating out of your age bracket (there is no such thing in my book) is a bad thing necessary.

Cheer_up Joined Tue 11/02/10 Posts: 3269	Wed 05/09/12 08:33 PM
I guess what I don't get is why people get bent out of shape over others' preferences. Age is just one of these preferences. LOLLLLLLLLLLL no 1s bent out of shape but i do see you love to start up on different people over nothing like just by that comment right there lolll i don't care who you chat to or when you do or what age either lolllll so may i ask who is bent out of shape??????????? Hey, no problems here. If you want to date women of all ages, go for it! Sing, see here's what cheer up is talking about. He never said he wants to date women of all ages. He is saying it doesn't matter what age he or anyone else chooses. I totally agree that we all get to choose. Afterall, I did choose older. I am just trying to point out that age is not the only factor. Wanting a family and financial stability play a major part if you are looking for a lifetime partner. If you are looking for causual dating than age will never be a major factor well thank you as long if the person is legal age ...i think they should choose who they like :) but its great to open your horizon on the ages too cause even friends or dating people can miss out on so much if they don't, thats all cheers :)

mg1959 Joined Thu 04/05/07 Posts: 7872	Wed 05/09/12 08:33 PM
We all know couples who have large age spans, I do anyway. It seems to me that 'society' whispers 'cougar' when the woman has chosen younger and has admiration for a man who has chosen younger. Yes, very unfair. your right bro i see so many dating in different age brackets and i think people should admire that , cause to many are narrow minded and never open up their horizon, and maybe if they did talk to couples in different age groups or see more they may think and open up but its their choice :) cheers thanks for your input 28 years in a relationship with an age difference would qualify me as one who has personal experience and not just offering an opinion without having lived it And you are right, that's how it happened for you. Exactly. So when I say that yes I would not date someone much younger or much older it is based on life experience and not because I am narrow minded or a stick in the mud. So just as I would never say that no one should date older or younger, you and cheer cannot say that because someone chooses not too they are not open minded. Yes, I hope you didn't think I was calling you a stick in the mud, cause I wasn't (heaven forbid no). I don't think your a stick in the mud at all. I was refering to some comments "Sing" made to where I thought there was a more open view to look at for those who wish to do so.

delilady Joined Fri 07/24/09 Posts: 23825	Wed 05/09/12 08:34 PM
I guess what I don't get is why people get bent out of shape over others' preferences. Age is just one of these preferences. LOLLLLLLLLLLL no 1s bent out of shape but i do see you love to start up on different people over nothing like just by that comment right there lolll i don't care who you chat to or when you do or what age either lolllll so may i ask who is bent out of shape??????????? Hey, no problems here. If you want to date women of all ages, go for it! Sing, see here's what cheer up is talking about. He never said he wants to date women of all ages. He is saying it doesn't matter what age he or anyone else chooses. I totally agree that we all get to choose. Afterall, I did choose older. I am just trying to point out that age is not the only factor. Wanting a family and financial stability play a major part if you are looking for a lifetime partner. If you are looking for causual dating than age will never be a major factor And I think all we are saying is, it is different for every one. Age has nothing to do with finances. Some people it takes a while to have financial gain and others at a very young age achieve it. Shouldn't we all agree that it is what ever works for them and not what worked for a few. That's all I'm saying. I don't want someone to think that dating out of your age bracket (there is no such thing in my book) is a bad thing necessary. Absolutely. However, the original statement made it sound like anyone who was not for dating much older or much younger was being negative. My question to you and Cheer up would be how many successful relationships have you experienced yourselves with someone much older or much younger? You asked for examples from me of why it may not work so now I ask the two of you to provide me with examples that it does.

delilady Joined Fri 07/24/09 Posts: 23825	Wed 05/09/12 08:40 PM Edited by delilady on Wed 05/09/12 08:40 PM
I think we should just agree that only the two people involved are the ones' whose opinion matters. For this 55 yr old it is 50 to 60 give or take a year. Thanks for the debate fellas. I did enjoy it

mg1959 Joined Thu 04/05/07 Posts: 7872	Wed 05/09/12 08:55 PM Edited by mg1959 on Wed 05/09/12 08:56 PM
Examples of age differences. I may not be the norm but many of my friends have married and or dated with pretty big age differences. I'm not saying all by any means, but many. My circles of friends though range from 18 to 70 and most of the people look at each other on a level playing field both professionally and partner wise. It doesn't surprise any of us if someone hooks up at any age spread. That just is not in our mind set. We don't think "Oh wow she's 22 I can't date her". It's more like, "oh you model I use to do that". Or "I fly to Hong Kong a lot and have a place there". Oh really "I lived there". My friends are pretty diverse and extremely open I would think, and honestly I just don't think age comes into it as far as dating or marriage goes. I can name (they wouldn't want me to cause they think me being on this site is silly) 10 couples who are friends of mine right off the top who are 20 years apart (some more). I also know a couple who have the same birth-date as me and tell folks we're all married and all twins.

Cheer_up Joined Tue 11/02/10 Posts: 3269	Wed 05/09/12 08:57 PM
We all know couples who have large age spans, I do anyway. It seems to me that 'society' whispers 'cougar' when the woman has chosen younger and has admiration for a man who has chosen younger. Yes, very unfair. your right bro i see so many dating in different age brackets and i think people should admire that , cause to many are narrow minded and never open up their horizon, and maybe if they did talk to couples in different age groups or see more they may think and open up but its their choice :) cheers thanks for your input 28 years in a relationship with an age difference would qualify me as one who has personal experience and not just offering an opinion without having lived it And you are right, that's how it happened for you. Exactly. So when I say that yes I would not date someone much younger or much older it is based on life experience and not because I am narrow minded or a stick in the mud. So just as I would never say that no one should date older or younger, you and cheer cannot say that because someone chooses not too they are not open minded. i not saying people who been through it like you have you already opened up your horizon , do you know what narrow minded means? ........breadth of view,and ...........lacking tolerance or flexibility or breadth of view..........Meaning of breadth. ... of knowledge of the subject".....so how would a person know a persons if they never talked to the person? and are blocked cause of a age? thats called lack of knowledge or narrow minded and i never said you , i was talking in general people who judge people cause of age before they even know them its so sad lollllllll its so simple point my friend:)

mg1959 Joined Thu 04/05/07 Posts: 7872	Wed 05/09/12 08:59 PM
I think we should just agree that only the two people involved are the ones' whose opinion matters. For this 55 yr old it is 50 to 60 give or take a year. Thanks for the debate fellas. I did enjoy it Yep, agreed! I think that was cheer ups point and certainly was mine.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Wed 05/09/12 09:04 PM Edited by navygirl on Wed 05/09/12 09:09 PM
Age does matter because with age comes maturity. How can I relate what its like to have a 20 year career to someone who has never had one? How can I relate to a 20 or 30 year old guy that because of age; my best friends are dying from heart attacks? How can I relate how age is affecting me and my body to someone who is 20 or 30 years younger? How would I relate to someone about the 70s when they weren't even born? I doubt very much that I would have much in common with a younger man that say has never served a day in the military or has only served a couple years. Sorry; but guys my age have a hard enough time understanding me; a younger guy would be way worse. well its communication.... ok put it this way how would you relate to someone your age that hates war? or someone thats older but just drinks booze all day? or someone in 70s that never went anywhere and just stayed at home most of his life and hardly know anything ? see you only saying negatives not positives lollllllll ok now positives put it this way i was part owner of a business when i was 19 and owned a business too ,different people are different i also have lots of friends young and old from 19 to in the 90s don't mean i date them but i do know about health and life a lot , and the point i was making if a person judges why i say the word judge is ..........think this way,say a person never ever talks to a different age group cause of their age is that not judging that person ? because saying it won't work cause of age? cause if the person never ever tried ,they already judged that person ...... cause of age????????? right????? i know people have a right to choose who they want or don't want ,thats up to them but if a person never ever tried or don't even know a person and say oh that person is immature cause of their age ,then they judged them Judgemental \| Define Judgemental at Dictionary.com judgmental or judgemental —adj. of or denoting an attitude in which judgments about other people's conduct are made. judgemental or judgemental. —adj ... * o Judge \| Define Judge at Dictionary judging ones character ..................so it is judging cause only reasons i getting is they immature of a age before they know the person so it is a judge lolllllllllll hope i explained it clear enough to you all Communication won't work with someone younger. Somebody that lived the 70s may have not gone out but they can still relate as they were alive; not sucking on a baby bottle. I couldn't take a younger guy seriously. If the person is anti-war; why would I be with them at all? They still can't understand how it is to lose friends because of age? A person my age would certainly understand that. Actually in my experience; younger guys drink way more booze than an older guy because lets face it as we age; we can't drink as much. Also; how does a 30 year relate to an aging body? I am tired at the end of the day and a younger man wants sex; but I am say I am tired. As we age; our bodies tire more. How do I relate with aching joints or a sore back to a younger guy? How about menopause? How about when I retire? I can travel but sony boy still has to work for another 20 years. Seriously; you think someone wants that? Sorry; I see no point of dating someone that has little or no life experience. Bottom line; he needs to grow up or better yet date someone his own age that can grow with him. You want to call me judegmental; so be it but not dating someone young enough to be my son. I would be too embarrassed to even be seen with him. Besides if you guys are so mature; why don't you date mature women your age?

Cheer_up Joined Tue 11/02/10 Posts: 3269	Wed 05/09/12 09:13 PM
I guess what I don't get is why people get bent out of shape over others' preferences. Age is just one of these preferences. LOLLLLLLLLLLL no 1s bent out of shape but i do see you love to start up on different people over nothing like just by that comment right there lolll i don't care who you chat to or when you do or what age either lolllll so may i ask who is bent out of shape??????????? Hey, no problems here. If you want to date women of all ages, go for it! Sing, see here's what cheer up is talking about. He never said he wants to date women of all ages. He is saying it doesn't matter what age he or anyone else chooses. I totally agree that we all get to choose. Afterall, I did choose older. I am just trying to point out that age is not the only factor. Wanting a family and financial stability play a major part if you are looking for a lifetime partner. If you are looking for causual dating than age will never be a major factor And I think all we are saying is, it is different for every one. Age has nothing to do with finances. Some people it takes a while to have financial gain and others at a very young age achieve it. Shouldn't we all agree that it is what ever works for them and not what worked for a few. That's all I'm saying. I don't want someone to think that dating out of your age bracket (there is no such thing in my book) is a bad thing necessary. Absolutely. However, the original statement made it sound like anyone who was not for dating much older or much younger was being negative. My question to you and Cheer up would be how many successful relationships have you experienced yourselves with someone much older or much younger? You asked for examples from me of why it may not work so now I ask the two of you to provide me with examples that it does. i asked you for examples? lollll where? or did i miss it ....well i dated older and younger ladies when i was in my 20s and young and old in my 30s i not a fussy person on age my friend cause i think life is way to short and people should not worry so much on age by the way my longest relationship was with someone that was longest age gap when i think about it lolllll