I guess what I don't get is why people get bent out of shape over others' preferences. Age is just one of these preferences.

Age does matter because with age comes maturity. How can I relate what its like to have a 20 year career to someone who has never had one? How can I relate to a 20 or 30 year old guy that because of age; my best friends are dying from heart attacks? How can I relate how age is affecting me and my body to someone who is 20 or 30 years younger? How would I relate to someone about the 70s when they weren't even born? I doubt very much that I would have much in common with a younger man that say has never served a day in the military or has only served a couple years. Sorry; but guys my age have a hard enough time understanding me; a younger guy would be way worse.

Do you think thats really fair ?She knows what she likes and sticks with it. Why fault her for that? I don't get it.

Of course its not fair. People were calling her judgemental and gee isn't this comment "stuck in the mud" very judgemental? She is an adult and she knows what she wants. Who the hell has the right to tell her differently?

Absolutely nobody!!

Agreed. To me its a preference; just like when a person says a non-smoker, a non-drinker, or no single parents. A person doesn't have to agree with your preferences but they sure as hell don't have the right to criticize you for it.

You made a good point. Would she be called a stick in the mud if she said non smoker? I doubt it.
That comment was rude imo and not relevant to anything.

I think you're so right with that answer!


I've been living out of home since I was around 17. I got a job, apartment and paid my own way ever since. It was tough going at first, I learned how to stand on my own two feet and not to rely on anyone else, and of course I also learned that nothing in life is handed to you on a plate. It wasn't easy, but you know what I wouldn't change anything.

I am always goofing around and having the craic, sometimes a little immaturity is good for the soul. I try not to take life too seriously

Oops I forgot to say I don't really have any preferences when it comes to age, I guess it depends on the person really!

Thanks ladies for understanding what I was saying. I honestly don't think it matters what preferences someone has... someone will always find fault in them. I think some people just look for things that will offend them.

I have to say that I placed a lot of emphasis on age thinking that someone more closer to my age would have the same reference point’s, know the same music and have more common interests...it didn’t occur to me that I might date someone from another country than my own...

Moral of the story...age is important but for no other reason than it’s a preference of mine not to date anyone ideally 5 years either side.

I was married to a man for 22 years that was 12 years older than me and it was not good. I also do not want to date someone who is close to my sons' ages. I concede that age does not coincide with maturity as my ex was quite immature. As stated by others it is a comfort zone for me. When I mention childhood memories or music and bands I like, some won in my age range can relate. So suggest away that I need to open myself to other experiences but I am sticking to a 5 year older/younger preference

Yeah; I pretty well said the same things.

Te he he he. Cheer up do you fancy an older woman and you are miffed that she wont date your age? Pet, some woman are just obtainable. And that is just life.

I sent a reply to his email messages, earlier on, today. Maybe he DOES have his eye on someone. We don't really know if he does or not, though. Time will tell i guess.

True

First looks like I'll have to tell you gals what I meant by stuck in the mud. I was referring to someone who is so deep in their own thoughts about something that it is hard for them to let others express themselves without an issue being made. The other part to this would be giving advice to others and stating that they weren't willing to consider the same. To me that is being a little stuck or not able to accept or consider another view. It seems like when someone has a different view about dating the same people always jump in and build their camp. The problem comes when someone has a fresh or different idea of that situation.

I wouldn't go making a case out of something that isn't there though. I love the fact that all of you have your own views and opinions. It's what makes mingling rich. If you ever take me as someone who does not feel that way, please ask or send me an email. However where I get off the wagon is when people dog on others and try to suggest that their views are not valid or they are not aloud in someway to think the way they do, or making snotty remarks that look like they are in the wrong somehow.

Please make note that I did not say anyone was a stick in the mud. My comment was that's what we call getting stuck in the mud. Meaning not being able to bend or move.

I think I can speak for my friend cheer up and myself when I say we could care less about your personal preferences or ever wish to put you down for believing in them. I can't imagine where this thought came from or how others picked up that we would think that way. We were talking about someone putting down others rights to have a view, not your personal views and rights to them. We respect all views and were trying to state that, and hoped that these types of talks could be less judgemental and not more.

Could you ladies name a view things that makes age a difference specifically?

If you do it might make it easier for those of us who don't care so much about it to explain why.

For example in my case, one who has traveled all their life and is deeply involved in music and business. Someone who has spent all but 6 weeks a year at times home. Someone who didn't write their first personal check for something until they were 41. Someone who kept 3 homes running at one time. Someone who got college by tutors on a bus. Someone who probably has a far different life from what many of you would call norm. How would you even have a clue to what I would need or want age wise?

You who live by the 9 to 5 sometimes have no idea that there is another huge world out there that is way outside of your thinking. People lives who run on a completely different set of values, time lines and responsibilities. A partner for many of us has nothing to do with age and everything to do with compatibility. I've met women that are 25 with way more experience than the older small town woman. I have also met 60 years olds with more open minds than teenagers. Suggesting that there is an age group for people like myself or others like me would be very limiting as we do not look for the same things in a partner.

Another example. Someone like my self literally has no time to go around in useless arguments. My partner has to be fast on her feet and be able to move quickly through lives decisions. In my wife's case she needed someone who did not get jealous and handle her being a world traveler. Neither of us had time for domestic troubles so we both had others hired to take care of the "small things". Those small things to us were probably big things for other couples.

What I'm saying is in many cases outside of norm ( what is norm) exist a world that very much deserve love but doesn't care about the same things as many others do.

Cheerup asked us if age matters. I answered, speaking for myself only and was then told that some people don't judge others on age and that I should open my horizons on different ages and give them a chance. Then I said I was just responding to the question based on what works for me. I was then told again that different ages do have things in common, as if my thinking was incorrect.

So, MG, why tell me I'm stuck in the mud for my preferences when the OP is lecturing me because my preferences do not match up with his? You mention in your post about people dogging on others and make snotty remarks, as if they're views are not valid. When cheerup is lecturing me because my views do not match up with his, he's doing exactly what you say you're against.

If you think you're speaking for cheerup, you may want to re-read his posts, as he does seem to care about others' personal preferences, especially when they do not match up with his own.

Anyway, as stated before, I have found what works for me.

I'm happy you found what works for you and am very sorry you felt like I was attacking that in any way.

MG, I don't care that you don't agree with me, but it's really odd when you go after me for doing what the OP was doing. Why lecture me at all for my preferences? Do you do the same for those who prefer to date skinny people rather than fat people? Or those who prefer to date short people rather than tall people? What about those who prefer to date someone close by, rather than far away?