Thank you very much!

u are welcome evr outspoken and thoughtful friend

really ,is this true, is this a joke, na this isn't craigslist scam ,or is it, the jury still out on this one.

ok alls good ,tough neghbor hood I'm going back to the lodge lol lol

"Why do you think they're not getting a "bite" because they're being open and honest?"

Basically I see that the US has some what of a higher "superficial code" to relationships that I don't see in many other countries that I visit. When I talk to both girl and guy friends here and I hear them talk about meeting someone, they talk one way when talking to me about it, and when they are out in a crowd a game face comes on and they talk as if they were a completely different person "their dating game face".

I've referred to the "2 week hustle" before. That's when people meet wearing their dating game face start seeing each other based on that face and about 2 weeks later stop communicating. In my field of work I call this "burn in". It's the time it takes something to settle before you can see the real picture of the vibrations. In the US we are so use to seeing people with their DGF on that when we hear someone that is past that we judge them as desperate or being to forward. But I say why would we want to stay in DGF longer than we absolutely have to. In fact why wear it at all?

This is no joke, both of my wives said to me "I want you" right from day one. They were honest sincere and got what they wanted. If either one of them would have done the "let me get to know you over drinks" thing we never would have been together. Let me tell you ladies what meeting over drinks means to most guys. The game is on. I'm walking into a meat market to meet meat and if that doesn't work there are plenty of other pieces to look at while I'm here. Women (I don't know) could maybe have a bar where just only women meet. Men have Clubs. Clubs to men are places where we don't think about women (unless it's a strip club). Their bigger versions of a man cave. Mixed bars are meat markets. You meet a man in a bar and the chances are slim that you are going to see him in the real light of who he is, unless he "is" a bar fly. The light is dim the music is playing and there are more sexual vibes floating around the place than a well covered bathroom stall wall. After 2 drinks things start taking on that diferent look. Let me ask myself. Michael, have you ever hung out in a bar and not got laid? No never, unless I had so many numbers that I couldn't decide who. Or unless the bar was in Ohio (sorry an inside joke). Now I consider myself a pretty nice guy and if I'm telling you that this is what I thought and did you can guess what the guys that are not so gentlemanly are thinking. And let me add, even if a guy you are with is not thinking these thoughts most of the other guys are and if you are hot are checking you out, which for most guys creates a whole new issue.

I girl asks me out to a bar to get to know her and I tell her I already do, no thanks or in my wild days cleaned my sheets and made sure there were matches by the candles and my choice of music on the stereo before I went out.

The guys I see on here that are great husband material might meet at a bar but they would take the time to let you know how bars work before you went and tell you that there may be better ways to get to know them, unless you and they are both partiers. Partiers have their own rules. The guys up here that are good husband material shoot very straight with their answers. They from what I have seen have intellect with a mix of humor. And quite frankly I am shocked that they have not been snatched with all the women that say they are looking.

Yes, I do think that straight up honest and open guys do get over looked. I get a kick out of it when I see another nice guy thread as if they are not here. Hello, again my hat is off to nicelady for being upfront. Who knows she might even have her man by now.

people who are just not built for dating but they are built for marriage.

I agree with this statement, I don't care for a long dating period only to find out you're not marriage material,such as my last relationship. I give her credit for her boldness and being direct in what she wants. My last relationship made me wake up and see if a man who has interest in me is not looking for the same thing I'm looking for is a waste of mine and his time. More people need to be direct about what they want.

I've had only one man in my life who was honest enough to say to me not long after we met each other, "this is where I am in my life, this is what I'm looking for, so if you're ok with that then let me know, if not then let's not take this further". Wasn't what I wanted and we just became friends. I respected his honesty. Well guess I'll stop here.

Tell it like it is. You go mg!

You seemed to have been out with many women who weren't themselves when you met. At least that's what I've gotten from what you've said here. Just because some women are like that, it doesn't mean all will be like that. I act no differently in the first 2 weeks of dating than I would later on.



You have a low opinion of women who go to bars. I'm guessing that's because you said you always got laid at bars. Do you think all women at bars are as easy as the women you went for? Is that what the issue is?



YOu haven't given much information on the men you're talking about. What is great husband material?

I'm not too paranoid about meeting people at a bar for a drink. It gives us a chance to sit and chat a bit. Most places around here have live music of some sort during the week or on the weekend as well. So, that's another plus. It doesn't work for everyone and that's cool. And if someone doesn't want to do that, I have no problem with it. I'm not going to look down on them just because that's not what they wanted to do.

One day, maybe you'll realize that not all women who step into a bar are like the one's you've dealt with in the past.

You can always go to a coffee shop where I can get tea. Bars give me a choice of water over soda.

Good husband material? Someone who will help, when needed, his wife become all she can be. Team player. Listens, listens, listens and heeds her words. After all, if she is happy, you'll be happy. Resolves problems with her and doesn't shut her out. TRUST. I'm sure many others have their own opinions on good husband material.

I have no problem with coffee shops.

If I could handle the expense of bringing her over to see I would. I'm not desperate but I like her honest approach and saying what she seeks. Some people (not just men or women) seem to want to make it hard to get close, imho. Starting off honest like this seems to me would make the first conversation more "searching" to see if the two of you could make a go of it. Can you tell I'm tired of games?

Hi Sweet,

In my statements there was a little of me but a lot of my friends sharing their experiences too.

Yes, it has been mine and my friends experience that the bar scene is a meat market. Even my girls that go to a bar with me have fun looking at guys trying to pick up girls and girls sitting there to be picked up. Even though there are other actives going on much of it is focused on the "bar shuffle".

I'm not sure if it is a low opinion as much as it is a predictable one. Almost all guys have a low opinion of bar girls. If you heard their talk to each other before going you might be shocked. Getting laid was never one of my goals in life but when you have a little wine and there are 30 girls hitting on you, well you get the rest of the picture. I'm sure this is different for everyone, but a bar is not someplace I would volunteer to meet someone. In fact I would only go to a bar if I knew that me and her were just going to be friends.

I'd be happy to give more info on good husband material. Any time I can be a part of good people hooking up I'm hip. Want me to start a thread on this?

"One day, maybe you'll realize that not all women who step into a bar are like the one's you've dealt with in the past."

A little over stated. I'm probably one of the most opened minded people on this forum most would tell you. But at this same time I appreciate your thoughts.

So basically you are, or were, the bar fly that you're turned off by now. What you've been saying says just as much about yourself as it does about the women you're not into anymore. I can understand why you're not into bars now, though.

We all have different preferences.

Actually I only went to bars 3 years out of my life, but know a ton of people who hang out at them and they have me meet them there from time to time (not into smoke and liquor smell). I'm not too much into the fly thing of any type except the designing/music biz and I stay pretty tight to my own studios and listening rooms at that. So my view of bars is pretty much based "yes" on my own experience and the people I have known. I have forgiven myself for being a bar slut and moved on LOL. I hope you don't think that I think getting a drink is the issue. It's not. Basically bars without a function other than being a bar is not my thing and I don't recommend it as good dating ground.

Also this is not directed at women this is directed at the bar scene.

As far as the op...
I think she's going about this fine. She knows what she wants, she is aware of her biological clock, she doesn't want to **** around with the dating scene (can't blame her there) and she is putting her intentions out there.

She gets constant offers so I will guess that she is picking and choosing, as it should be. I don't get the impression from her that she wants to marry just anybody for the sake of getting married, she has a plan, an agenda for her life.

Nothing wrong with that.

As I've already said, most bars around here are also restaurants. And many have live music as well. So there are definitely other things going on. But again, we all have different preferences. If someone I'm into does not want to go listen to music and have a drink one night, that's cool. There are plenty of other things to do.

Let me know if you wouldnt mind getting with someone my age! (: i wouldn't mind being your husBand hun

There you go Nicelady, get those applications ready.

I think it would be great to see more of this!

Most guys your age "want to be with an older woman"

Wanting to be with one and marrying and having children
with one is entirely different.

I have a son your age, if he were interested
in a woman 39 years old other than experiencing
an older woman, I would be asking him alot of questions.

I'm still wondering what/who mg thinks makes good husband material. He keeps mentioning it, but has been very vague.