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| Topic: What's Worng In F.W.B | |
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Even then, FWB is sort of a relationship. It's not a sex-on-call type of situation. You just hang out with your friend and then go home and get sweaty. There's just no promise of commitment and I don't write their name with hearts around it. I also think it's odd that so many ladies here have their frowny faces on. Did we learn nothing from the sexual revolution? Yes, we did learn a lot from the sexual revolution which gives us the freedom to have sex without being labeled; but that doesn't mean its okay to be used just for sex. Sex is fun and pleasurable but I couldn't have sex with someone I didn't love. Perhaps you could love your FWB, but that does not mean anything long term. Some of us ladies are looking for a long term relationship; a life time partner that we can grow old with. Maybe its just my age; but FWB is something left for the younger crowd. Sorry, but I don't want to live out the rest of my life alone because I lived me life as FWB. I want love and respect and would not feel that with a FWB. Not to mention a FWB could open you up to a lot of sexually transmitted diseases as neither of you would be monogamous . |
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I come from the old school thinking in that Sex should be a sincere expression between two people who truly enjoy each other. Friends with Beni's, while good for some people, will never land you with your one true equal life mate. So, you believe you only have one true equal life mate? Are you holding out for them? |
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I come from the old school thinking in that Sex should be a sincere expression between two people who truly enjoy each other. Friends with Beni's, while good for some people, will never land you with your one true equal life mate
I found my life mate and it wasn't my FWB. And Navygirl, I used him for sex. It was a relationship of convenience, that's all FWB is. I respect those who hold out for Mr. Right, but I didn't see the point in being alone while I waited. |
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I guess where I am from people see friendship & sex differently? It doesn't bother anyone as long as no one is getting hurt! Much preferred over affairs with someone attached, or dragging out a pointless relationship just to be with someone. My bff's Mom even approved when we were FWBs.
"Sex should be a sincere expression between two people who truly enjoy each other"...obviously friends enjoy each other, or they would not hang out as friends! Some of the best sex I have ever had was with FWBs & there was nothing insincere about it, we care about each other deeply, just not in an "I wanna be with you exclusively forever sense". At this point in my life I am not sure if I can do another LTR! If so it would take me years of getting to know the person. Both the LTRs in my life have been traumatic experiences and left me damaged. I am caring enough not to hurt someone else by pursuing a relationship. I have issues being touched by people I don't know well and stay busy trying to finish what I started while trudging through nearly a decade of hell due to my "life mates". UH-uh...no more! I will live my life with some happiness until the end & don't need a man having the power to screw that up for me around 
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You are friends....
you fu*k.... I am not sure where the problem is.... |
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You are friends.... you fu*k.... I am not sure where the problem is.... exactly krupman, and that's the problem. After reading the thread (which I don't know if you did or not, krupa) I think it should be fairly plain that several issues were raised that are valid - at least to those who have them I really don't feel like reiterating all I, for one, have already said. So I won't The fact that so many people on here try so hard to justify it indicates that there are issues with it. (it's like overcompensating when u lied as a kid) 
I realize my stance is not the most popular and I don't think it's an issue of my age either. Nothing I have said have I meant to be directed personally toward you (who I am fond of) or anyone. and I wanted to clarify that. just my opinion |
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Let's just say we are no longer "friends".
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You are friends.... you fu*k.... I am not sure where the problem is.... intimacy vs. bumping uglies, looks like the two are being confused if one needs to satisfy a sexual urge, and masterbation has gotten old (or is just not an option) than being with someone you are familiar with becomes an option. that person will recognize your need, fill it, and not judge you for it picking a stranger and filling a sexual need will get you labeled. especially if you don't even remember the strangers name for others, a sexual urge can be repressed until the right person comes along to make a commitment to |
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You are friends.... you fu*k.... I am not sure where the problem is.... intimacy vs. bumping uglies, looks like the two are being confused if one needs to satisfy a sexual urge, and masterbation has gotten old (or is just not an option) than being with someone you are familiar with becomes an option. that person will recognize your need, fill it, and not judge you for it picking a stranger and filling a sexual need will get you labeled. especially if you don't even remember the strangers name for others, a sexual urge can be repressed until the right person comes along to make a commitment to 
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Edited by
sweetestgirl11
on
Sun 03/27/11 02:41 PM
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You are friends.... you fu*k.... I am not sure where the problem is.... intimacy vs. bumping uglies, looks like the two are being confused if one needs to satisfy a sexual urge, and masterbation has gotten old (or is just not an option) than being with someone you are familiar with becomes an option. that person will recognize your need, fill it, and not judge you for it picking a stranger and filling a sexual need will get you labeled. especially if you don't even remember the strangers name for others, a sexual urge can be repressed until the right person comes along to make a commitment to Exactly. So you have to wonder for yourself...'Is the one Im really looking for, looking for a promiscuous person, or someone who has to have sex with other people when they arent available?' Maybe they are, who knows. well do you ask? I mean I have found myself in situations where I "assumed" (mistake #1) that he was also being faithful because I was being faithful, adn when I discovered otherwise...I felt really betrayed....but admittedly I had never asked him.... it's not like he told me either tho 
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You are friends.... you fu*k.... I am not sure where the problem is.... intimacy vs. bumping uglies, looks like the two are being confused if one needs to satisfy a sexual urge, and masterbation has gotten old (or is just not an option) than being with someone you are familiar with becomes an option. that person will recognize your need, fill it, and not judge you for it picking a stranger and filling a sexual need will get you labeled. especially if you don't even remember the strangers name for others, a sexual urge can be repressed until the right person comes along to make a commitment to Exactly. So you have to wonder for yourself...'Is the one Im really looking for, looking for a promiscuous person, or someone who has to have sex with other people when they arent available?' Maybe they are, who knows. well do you ask? I mean I have found myself in situations where I "assumed" (mistake #1) that he was also being faithful because I was being faithful, adn when I discovered otherwise...I felt really betrayed....but admittedly I had never asked him.... it's not like he told me either tho
Until I have the talk with them about being exclusive, I don't assume that's the case. So yes, it's always good to have that discussion, rather than just assuming. |
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You are friends.... you fu*k.... I am not sure where the problem is.... intimacy vs. bumping uglies, looks like the two are being confused if one needs to satisfy a sexual urge, and masterbation has gotten old (or is just not an option) than being with someone you are familiar with becomes an option. that person will recognize your need, fill it, and not judge you for it picking a stranger and filling a sexual need will get you labeled. especially if you don't even remember the strangers name for others, a sexual urge can be repressed until the right person comes along to make a commitment to Exactly. So you have to wonder for yourself...'Is the one Im really looking for, looking for a promiscuous person, or someone who has to have sex with other people when they arent available?' Maybe they are, who knows. well do you ask? I mean I have found myself in situations where I "assumed" (mistake #1) that he was also being faithful because I was being faithful, adn when I discovered otherwise...I felt really betrayed....but admittedly I had never asked him.... it's not like he told me either tho
You do indeed ask, yes. Makes for interesting conversation and you will find if you can freely discuss that topic, you can have many interesting conversations about anything. but how do you ask without sounding like you're getting out the leash and collar???
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but how do you ask without sounding like you're getting out the leash and collar???
You say, "What I want is a long term relationship. I need monogamy before sex, that way I know I can have a clear head in making decisions about my partner and my future" "What are you looking for when it comes to long term?" That way, its a demand you make on yourself, not him. You require nothing from him. Your only checking to see if you should go further with the relationship. Compatible. If he's not the one, then "thank you for the lovely company and I wish you luck in your life." ya that sounds pretty much like what I would want to say but I don't want to blackmail some guy into saying he wants a commitment just so he can get laid - and then me get burned....so I think the conversation u r suggesting needs to take place over a few conversations.... not a heat of the moment - ya ya baby I love u - can I put it in now?
(actual quote BTW) |
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but how do you ask without sounding like you're getting out the leash and collar???
You say, "What I want is a long term relationship. I need monogamy before sex, that way I know I can have a clear head in making decisions about my partner and my future" "What are you looking for when it comes to long term?" That way, its a demand you make on yourself, not him. You require nothing from him. Your only checking to see if you should go further with the relationship. Compatible. If he's not the one, then "thank you for the lovely company and I wish you luck in your life." ya that sounds pretty much like what I would want to say but I don't want to blackmail some guy into saying he wants a commitment just so he can get laid - and then me get burned....so I think the conversation u r suggesting needs to take place over a few conversations.... not a heat of the moment - ya ya baby I love u - can I put it in now?
(actual quote BTW) haha. Please see edit. Reminds me of a great meatloaf song.
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Sun 03/27/11 03:47 PM
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but how do you ask without sounding like you're getting out the leash and collar???
You let them know how you feel and what you want without being demanding. If you can't do that, you can't assume they're thinking the same way you are about being exclusive. If they don't feel the same way, at least you find out sooner rather than later. |
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but how do you ask without sounding like you're getting out the leash and collar???
You let them know how you feel and what you want without being demanding. If you can't do that, you can't assume they're thinking the same way you are about being exclusive. If they don't feel the same way, at least you find out sooner rather than later. true but honestly I am worse than a man when it comes to having "the talk" maybe it could be a lot of little talks in stages rather than some big dramatic "moment" I HATE any kind of drama |
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The way I see it, if you can't have that talk with someone about being exclusive, you shouldn't get upset later on if you find out they are dating other people. It can be a hard talk to have, but you have to do it sometimes.
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1 - Fornication
2 - Emotional attachments through sexuality.....because women are built that way............... 3 - men want their cake and eat it too 4 - its against homosapien nature |
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The way I see it, if you can't have that talk with someone about being exclusive, you shouldn't get upset later on if you find out they are dating other people. It can be a hard talk to have, but you have to do it sometimes. ya no matter who starts it - if you care - and he cares - both should be receptive to it |
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Whether you are just looking for a fwb, or looking for a serious relationship, you have to be adult enough to be able to talk about it.
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