It's like a hooker that don't get paid JMO

What is a hooker that doesn't get paid? Someone who is having sex outside of a relationship?

nope the op ask why most women get turned off JMO

Right, I get that. I was just asking you why you said what you did.

I know that I am usually in the minority in these FWB discussions, and it's not like I'm miss morality or anything - tell that to my most recent boyfriends and they'd prolly die laughing.

My opinion is based on experience. OK OK - here's why (in addition to the self respect issues already mentioned)

I think the lack of detachment needed to be honestly successful - no emotional hangover- from an FWB is a level of detachment that is questionable from a mental health POV - females in particular have neuro-chemical reactions to intimacy that promote bonding. It is possible that the FWB is actually detrimental to a woman's mental health. If you have an FWB and he moves on to someone else you should normally feel hurt by that - HELLOOOOOOOOOO


but I also question the "friends" variable in the FWB equation..as a "friend" would not ask you to take on a role that could be detrimental to your well being -

after the fact, a lot of the guys do have that attitude - eavesdrop sometime - it's educational -I've heard it all with my own 2 ears

I think you raise a valid point. Obviously an FWB is not a hooker - but the double standard about casual sex is still very real in our society

I agree

Life doesn't work the same way for everyone. Some don't have sex outside of a relationship. Some can enjoy sex without being in a relationship. What works for one may not work for another. It's not my place to judge their reasons for having/not having sex.

I've been in a FWB relationship. It was alright, we'd just hook up until one of us met someone else we wanted to date. It wasn't a relationship with any real potential - but boy was it good!
What about FWBWB (friends with benefits with blankets)? People who hook up because they like your blankets or to share body heat in the winter.

My impression is that if that's your original approach, they will see through you and decide you want "a woman with benefits". You know why? Because friendship is earned, or is obvious. You can force sex, but you can't force friendship. You can buy sex, but you can't buy friends.

So I figure the women you are approaching to become your FWBs, are thinking "What does this guy want? A free hooker, I think."

Does this answer your question?

Sorry, Carol, I just went ahead and answered the OP's original question.

You are much better with the language, the same thing to say took you one sentence, on abbreviation and two emoticons that I needed several paragraphs to describe.

maybe its the fact that women tends to want more ,
like what carol says its like a hooker not getting paid ....

Yes it was right off the top of my head and that was my first response.

I have never been a hooker, paid or not. It's just casual sex. I'd rather have a FWB than have a random hookup with a stranger. The thing is that we both knew there was no relationship and that was ok. What is the debate ladies? It's the difference between meeting your needs with someone you trust vs a one night stand. I think you're all thinking too hard.

Not all women have the this same neuro-chemical reaction that results in bonding. Some like the freedom of not being emotional involved in a relationship for whatever reason (not ready, isn't comfortable, wanting to pursue career, etc).

Also, in my experience, the husband I was married to for 10 yrs damaged me psychologically 1,000,000 X more than all the FWBs I have ever thought of having put together & is much of the reason why I do not want an LTR @ this point in my life. The most recent ex, my only other LTR, didn't do too much better with all the guilt tripping my emotions about his insecurities. I think I'll stay in the FWB club, at least I know I can trust my friends NOT to put me in the situations they did!

You sound spot on in some of your points.

I find it interesting that even some of the women and not just the men look down on women who have sex outside of relationships.

Even then, FWB is sort of a relationship. It's not a sex-on-call type of situation. You just hang out with your friend and then go home and get sweaty. There's just no promise of commitment and I don't write their name with hearts around it.
I also think it's odd that so many ladies here have their frowny faces on. Did we learn nothing from the sexual revolution?

There's some that have no problem with it since they might live busy lives and not have time for anything more.


Others know they'll get attached after sex and develop feelings, which will probably end up in them getting hurt.


Each to their own.

I come from the old school thinking in that Sex should be a sincere expression between two people who truly enjoy each other. Friends with Beni's, while good for some people, will never land you with your one true equal life mate.