Are there any couples out there that love each other but are no longer in LOVE with each other? I have been married 15 years and the two of us have fallen into this best friend syndrome. We don't have that affectionate love any more and we are just on auto drive for the young children. Does anyone know what I'm talking about. Need to chat with others to see if living a life with no sexual affection is worth the price of keeping normalcy in the home.
Talk to me. Anyone....

I'm not in that position but I know more than a few people that are.. They don't talk about it much, just go day by day making it through.. A couple would like to have affairs but won't... A couple have had affairs just for the affection they're missing, but I'm not recommending that...

Have either of you tryed to rekindle the love??

From personal experience, I can honestly say I know EXACTLY what you're going through. Your escenario (minus the kids) is what happened to me three years ago(I had been married for 15 years at the time). I like the way you put it, "love being with each other, but not in LOVE". Gone was the I-can't-wait-to-get-home to feeling which I once felt years back. I tried, I really did, to "spark" things up, but it just didn't last. The roommate status got old and three years later, we called it quits. I've been divorced almost six months, and though I'm not into any serious relationship yet (not in a hurry either), I'm absolutely loving it!!! It's a new lease on life. I'm not advocating divorce or anything, but perhaps a temporary separation may work; who knows. I don't know what advise to give you regarding the children, bt whatever you decide, I wish you the best.

love ain't everything it's cracked up to be... if both are comfortable, why change it?
i wish i was that comfortable with a woman

I'm in that exact position, together 12 years, married for 7, ending this year. My son is 7 and the most important thing in the world to me. I would have stayed married to Osama Bin Laden if was better for the kid, but the wife wants to look for greener pastures. She having an affair now and expected me to wait on the sidelines in case it didn't work out. I don't want to be a back-up plan, so it's over. Not what I wanted, I love her very much, but she's putting her own desires ahead of our child. I'm an extremely forgiving person and would have tolerated anything for the sake of the kid, but her decisions are hurting our child and his future. Her Dad's tired of the drama and wants us out of the home he bought so our family would be secure. Now he has a split family, has to live in a little apartment downtown and can only see me on weekends. I can't forgive any of that. I'm not suggesting you leave, assuming she's still a good mom, you two have a commitment to your children that exceeds your own wants and desires. Counselling might help. Communication is a must. Maybe one or both of you need anti-depressants. Try to break the routine. Find a sitter and take her to a chic flick. Leave a flower on her pillow. Change out of your 'around the house clothes' once and awhile and buy her a new robe you'd like to see her in. Crawling Mingle for a dinner date is going to kill it, not fix it. 15 years is a lot of time to throw away. Living a life with no sexual affection isn't worth the price of keeping normalcy in the home, but fixing it is. Take it from someone who let it go too far and can't get it back.

I've never been married, or had kids. I probably will never be married. I will be alone for the rest of my life. I have bipolar disorder and no woman wants to even give me a chance.

Just be blessed you have someone in your life who married you and still loves you. Things could be much worse.

Have you tried marriage counselling? Consult your clergy? Many other options out there instead of a dating site. Good luck to you.

i am recently divorced, I never got the point of no intimacy in our relationship. Maybe you two should try and do something together that you would normally not do. like hot air ballooning with champagne or something and make an agreement to not wear any underwear, either of you. you need to get sexy around each other. It will be like dating a new person. it sounds weird but it works, the monotamy is getting to you in a bad way. And if you love each other like best friends and its just sex you are lacking then sex it up. spank her around when she least expects it. Trap her as she gets out of the shower and shove her over the counter while she is all wet. then talk about how wet she is. Trust me she may try to show resistance but she will like every second of it. Especially if you show control. Unless she likes the control, then it may backfire. shux.

wow got any more?

i've got tons baby, i love to write, and I am a scorpio, double blessing I guess. Cheers. And sadly yet somehow I cant get a date. Such is life, sigh

well, keep up the writings and i wont need a date - very nice

there has to be an underling cause , of seperation . i have been married 11 years together 12 seperated 3 times a year at a shot . we never had kids . the underling cause with mine was the importance of honesty and responceability . we are still civil both have seperate residinces . what actualy triggered my emotional seperation was when she told me she lies to me all the time i should not be upset . it took a long time to isolate that 1 cause . think back and talk to her being busy is no excuse i used to work 80 hours a week and made time for her every day .

Yeah, no kidding!!
Ocean should be some kind of marriage counselor or something!!

wow thanks guys! ive got a ton of good ideas. Like i said we never got the point of no intimacy in our marriage. Too bad things didtnt work out. . . gotta start from scratch now. boo hoo

Try rekindling, currently seperated from mine, gettign the divorce paperwork done. We had a few issues,and one was that we didn;t talk about the issues, we just were. Talk to eachother, and reconnect. If need be try going to a counselor- But you have to both agree to that. Because if only one wants to work, but the other considers themsleves blameless, couselling won't work, Trust me been there/ done that. Good Luck!

ever try Donkey Punching her?

Hate it when I hear, "We love each other but we're not "in love" anymore! Really? No relationship is gonna feel hot and heavy like it did when you first met. Marriage is work! It's so easy to have an affair because someone else looks at you with googly eyes and your wife no longer does. Give me a break. What have YOU done to make her feel sexy and special? When's the last time you surprised her with a baby sitter and stole her away for a romantic weekend? Unfortunately, so many women "loose" themselves and who they are as they engage all their energy in raising their children. I am sure your wife would love to feel special again. The fact that you are on this site, tells me she probably doesn't. If you truly care about your marriage, get off this site and use your energies to woo your wife back. She is STILL the person you fell madly in love with so many years ago. You just need to reintroduce yourself.

My wife left me for that reason, and we are ok, but I think it is a mistake. Marriage really can be for life.

I didn't realize it was happening and therefore didn't deal with it. She thought about it for a couple years and planned in the back ground until she left me one day and turned my world upside down.

Our family is fine, and i am fine, but i think two people that have had kids, married each other and are best friends, would be wiser to figure out how to fall back in love than to divorce and start over.

Divorce is survivable, but make no mistake it leaves life long wounds.

If she's your best friend, then tell her how you feel before you lose her one day, because it will be to late man.

Don't take things for granted, do some work around the house, get off the couch and get in shape, man up and act as if you were single and trying to attract the opposite sex. Go get a gym membership and work out, you will feel better and look better and more attractive to her. Really guy, you're going to have to do it soon anyway - cause she's leaving you.

Good Luck

Thats how it went in my 1st marriage. I married really young, and we grew up and apart. The no sex part was hell, I went crazy! In the end Im glad we parted. I have no bad feelings towards him, Its just that if Im in a relationship the romance and sex are something that I need.

I believe that in life, everyone has their true soulmate. Sometimes, the person we are married to is not necessarily the person that will complete us...