I can't help it. I LOVE R Kelly.

Two points from my perspective...

1) Thank you for being honest that different "cultural" or "racial" groups DO have differences in terms of behaviors or traits or whatever...that's what makes people INTERESTING in my opinion. (You even see this based on what part of the country somebody's from!) It's not a bad thing or a point of judgement...it's just what it is and is terrific!

2) I am not interested in a "thuggish" type of any race...nice guy? We mesh? Who cares what race/culture? Not a boundary issue...

I wasn't aware they do. My best friend, who is white, has been dating a black man for 3 yrs now.

I've dated outside my race before; it was no big deal, probably because the guy didn't define his entire being on the colour of his skin.

I'm not even sure how many times you mentioned 'black', 'white', and/or 'caucasian' but I know that it was a lot.

I look at skin colour as a characteristic a person happens to have and would never date a guy who defined himself by what pigment it happened to be.

I dont see race, colour, culture or gender.....


I see people.






As to the OP.....


You only attract what you put out....

it may have nothing to do with what you call race.... it may very well be others see you by your attitude, not the colour of your skin.

I have been fortunate to date ladies with a variety of skin, hair, and eye colors.

Based upon my statistically insignificant sample, culture matters much more than color.

Basically, dating a white female from the big city is far more like dating a black female from the big city, than dating a white female from a rural area.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

i am very upset that i missed this thread in its prime.

I wish they had a kick you in the butt smiley

I wish this thread would die already

I like the remark made about being from different areas can make people different (in a unique and good way I guess). I am a true Californian, grew up in the very liberal San Francisco Bay Area and now live in San Diego. I tend to have a challenging time relating to someone from someplace like Atlanta, Charleston or Jacksonville. Not that there's anything wrong with them or myself, just two different cultures entirely but I enjoy learning about other people as others here have also said.

There are many many more things that can add or strain a relationship other than color of skin which truly is only skin deep. You must find someone whom you relate to and can relate to you regardless of skin color. You feel me?

Until racism dies it's timely death in this country, this will continue to be an issue.

I however agree with several posts about culture being a bigger deterrant then race in most cases.

There are women out there who do not judge a man by race. We judge men by character, how they view women and treat women, how they live their lives, what kind of choices they make, etc...

i love the chaotic, edgy threads that tend to erupt into a caps lock shouting match. they are fun. and theres no better topic to get the fire raging than race.

no progress has been made in terms of the racism problem. its like politics (irony) in that both sides play an equally deconstructive role in this touchy subject. lets be real.

"Laundry is the only thing that should be segregated into colour categories".[/color

Though I do believe that there are parts of the country wher racism may still play a part in this topic, for myself, I think I haven't because I live in an area where the popuilation is predominantly white! Plus....I've never been asked out by anyone of another race. I would definitely agree to it...with the same stipulations I have for men of my own race. Do we have things in common? Are we reaching for the same goals? Do we find each other attractive? Skin color should NOT make any difference....it's ALWAYS about what is on the inside!!!!!!

Thanks for the insight because there made me see things in a way thate things in your answer that were right on the money I believe that there are alot of things that we look for in life and want them so bad that we forget ourselves in the midst of looking and my problem has been me and looking for the right one close to me. I am not willing to go through a long distance relationship again and I cannot pickup and move when I am established here in college trying to get another degree and working two jobs at the same time but being lonely somehow finds a place in there and a long distance thing will not work therefore it is difficult. I thank you all for your wisdom and hope that we all some day find that which makes us complete.

Thank you for your feedback because it really helps when people can be honest and open to the real issues in our society. I for one am open and seeking the person who I can mesh with in a diverse world where my ideas and ambitions can blossom while with that person. The thuggish mentality is in every race culture and society where we as men believe that being rougher and tougher than the next is supreme. Do not get me wrong all men have this trait but some of us have a hold onto our egos where we exhibit it in only sports hunting or other like in the bed ! But we have that tendency what I am saying in referring to the thuggish is the guys that want to sit in the hood everyday doing nothing to better themselves or society. I went through that stage when I was a teen and I am glad that I have a good mother that taght me right when I was younger even though I did not always adhere to it but to see women go for these men when I am out here busting my chops to finish my education and enable myself to support a family that I may never have seems to be discouraging at best not that that is the only reason I or any other man gets his education but it is apart of the equation. So thank you on behalf of all the Gentlemanly Black Men for your candor and honesty

well auburn what do you mean when you say that you were not aware that they do. Let me remind you that this does not apply to all women who are white but there are the majority that do and your friend may be in the minority. I live in Pensacola Florida and have lived in tampa and Orlando these are definitely the scenarios that we are dealing with in these places. Thanks for your response

Well I have a question for you Because you are the only one that has mentioned it thus far. When you see someone that is not of your ethnic origin how do you define them if you do not know them? The guy there or the woman there or the white guy Black guy or what? Nothing personal but we all do it I have no hangups period and I love there racial difference between us because you offer a different point of view because of your race and environment that you were raised in and everyone in the same does as well. My point in using this terminology was merely make people more aware of the subject content dealing with the significant racial compatibility where women of the opposite race seem to deal better with the thuggish mentality rather than an educated Black man. Point taken and for your beautiful delicate ears I will try and refrain from using such explicit language as race.
Thanks