Topic: "Hon" and "Dear" terms | |
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Are there any women out there who feel this way? When I meet a man online for a relationship, him calling me "Dear" or "Hon", feels like he's talking down to me.
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If it's someone I know, I don't mind it. If it's a stranger, it's annoying. The same with any other cute little name such as baby, sweetie, cutie and so on.
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i get that alot too, but from another site, they are mostly from other countries, and are asking for money, i am not sure i consider it talking down to me but more like wanting to be in a relationship so badly they start using terms of endearment from day one. i want to take things a little slower and then start using the terms of endearment later on.
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Thank you. I think I feel better. It's like they can't remember my name.
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I think you're right about the other countries.
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i get that alot too, but from another site, they are mostly from other countries, and are asking for money, i am not sure i consider it talking down to me but more like wanting to be in a relationship so badly they start using terms of endearment from day one. i want to take things a little slower and then start using the terms of endearment later on. I notice it a lot from Americans, too. |
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Edited by
papersmile
on
Mon 02/23/09 06:18 AM
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I like those terms to be used only by the person with whom i'm involved romantically.
I'll give southerners the benefit of the doubt, however, because I realize some of them use those words regularly and generally. If it's anyone else, it creeps me out. |
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I'm one of those people who calls people 'hon' a lot.. Its just a habit, and a lot of people where I'm from do it too...
I don't use it as a term of endearment. I don't really mind when people talk that way to me, although if its a guy I do wonder if he really even knows my name.... |
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I like those terms to be used only by the person with whom i'm involved romantically. I'll give southerners the benefit of the doubt, however, because I realize some of them use those words regularly and generally. If it's anyone else, it creeps me out. I was just going to say I hear it everyday being that I'm down south so I really don't pay much attention to it. I will say though that if it is an ongoing thing from a stranger, then I start to get a little uncomfortable. |
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If it's online and they don't know my name, I just accept it as a part of the salutation. It sure beats, "Hey there, Hot Stuff". However, online, I do NOT appreciate a greeting that starts with "Babe". Too many inferences of intimacy and degradation and such.
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If it's online and they don't know my name, I just accept it as a part of the salutation. It sure beats, "Hey there, Hot Stuff". However, online, I do NOT appreciate a greeting that starts with "Babe". Too many inferences of intimacy and degradation and such. I feel the opposite way. It's one of those cute little names and someone should actually know me before using it. |
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i get that alot too, but from another site, they are mostly from other countries, and are asking for money, i am not sure i consider it talking down to me but more like wanting to be in a relationship so badly they start using terms of endearment from day one. i want to take things a little slower and then start using the terms of endearment later on. I notice it a lot from Americans, too. the ones i have talked to claim to be american but after talking with them for a while i can tell they are NOT american |
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I like those terms to be used only by the person with whom i'm involved romantically. I'll give southerners the benefit of the doubt, however, because I realize some of them use those words regularly and generally. If it's anyone else, it creeps me out. I was just going to say I hear it everyday being that I'm down south so I really don't pay much attention to it. I will say though that if it is an ongoing thing from a stranger, then I start to get a little uncomfortable. Well, lil honeys...I am screwed! I was born and raised to speak that way......it don't matter if you are 8 or 80...to me you are all still sweeties/honeys/babydolls...you get the picture. But, after 40 years of talking that way...not much chance I can change that pattern now. I can only speak for myself when I say no offence or disrespect is meant by it...I was taught that it was a good thing to be politely complimentary....(and yes, I do remember names) |
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It's good to know I'm not alone. It was getting kind of creepy. I've even had 2 men talk like they're ready to marry me when we haven't even met, except online. That's creepy!
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"the ones i have talked to claim to be american but after talking with them for a while i can tell they are NOT american" I agree with you trgirl. I've even asked them where they're from. They say us and I know better. |
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I really don't like nick names or pet names at all,but thats just me.
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i get that alot too, but from another site, they are mostly from other countries, and are asking for money, i am not sure i consider it talking down to me but more like wanting to be in a relationship so badly they start using terms of endearment from day one. i want to take things a little slower and then start using the terms of endearment later on. I notice it a lot from Americans, too. the ones i have talked to claim to be american but after talking with them for a while i can tell they are NOT american Well, a few in this thread have said they do it. Granted, they're doing it because they call everyone that. But still, they're in the US . |
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Well, lil honeys...I am screwed! I was born and raised to speak that way......it don't matter if you are 8 or 80...to me you are all still sweeties/honeys/babydolls...you get the picture. But, after 40 years of talking that way...not much chance I can change that pattern now. I can only speak for myself when I say no offence or disrespect is meant by it...I was taught that it was a good thing to be politely complimentary....(and yes, I do remember names) Well, Krupa, it's nice to hear from a man but everyone that understands some of us have a creepy feeling about it, might think about easing up a little for comfort. It'll help a bit |
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Edited by
krupa
on
Mon 02/23/09 06:39 AM
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Just consider the opposite end of the spectrum.....If I was from up north...I would probably refer to you ladies as "Youse guys" or "You'ns"...If I had been raised with no sense of respect, it would be "b*!ches" or "Ho's" (I hate it when guys talk like that...shows a total lack of respect)
So, all things considered...there are plenty of worse references "Dear" or "Hon" Just my perspective Baby....(since I don't know most of your names...I gotta call you something...and it ain't gonna be Ma'am) But, I do understand your point.....the only way I can see around it is to issue name tags to everyone..... |
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Thank you. I think I feel better. It's like they can't remember my name. Better still pet names are used in order to prevent the infamous faux pas of calling someone by the wrong name |
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