Talk about melodrama and emotionally based response. Did you read ANYTHING I just said? I told you I WOULD NOT MARRY them. My last boyfriend (of several years) had financial problems when I met him. He was honest and part of it was medical ( an ulcer) and he also was highly educated (attended Princeton and Harvard) so therefore he was stuck in student loan prostration. I directed him towards bankruptcy as there was no other conceivable way out. I also continued to date him and we were close for several years.Now he is doing MUCH better.

He FACED his problem and I stood by him and helped as best I knew how.

Please read what I write before appealing to emotion and unjustifiably I might add.

Yes, I read what you said, thanks. I didn't say anything about marriage in my last post. Did you read ANYTHING I just said? You said that you would date them, an overwhelming response to meeting the person of your dreams (except for credit rating of course). And yes, it's an emotional response, not the cold clinical response of numbers on a spreadsheet. People complain (not you), about not being able to find that special someone, is it any wonder when we discard pretty much everyone before we have met them?

No I would not if they lied about it. Whether or not I would become involved with someone after they told me would depend on the reasons why.

Well I AM SAYING something about marriage. If that is not the argument here, then who are you directing these comments to exactly? I have clearly explained my position to you.

Quantifiably, credit debt is a liability, and if I chose to take on someone else's liabilities, I want it to be my choice, and NOT theirs. One woman who is no longer in my life had a credit problem, and was only making minimum payments, which means while she had "good" credit, her problem was getting worse. By the time I had cleared that entire mess, I had taken away her adult responsibility, and spent a considerable amount of money fixing her problem, enabling her to be an irresponsible brat. At one point, I briefly had her as a signatory on my business's bank accounts, but large amounts of money were being spent without any form of communication and I ultimately reduced our financial partnership to a joint personal account, which she was pretty upset by, but it had to happen as a matter of self-preservation. It's probably no wonder the relationship didn't work out.

Yes, it's quite clear. If their credit score doesn't match yours then, chances are, you'll walk right by them. Am betting that the reason that you helped out your Princeton/Harvard boyfriend was that he was a "safe" bet due to his education. Would you have done the same for someone with just a high school diploma I wonder? So bottom line, for you, is that you're not going to marry someone who is not on the same rung on the credit ladder, right? Or is it that you just don't believe in marriage at all?

Bottom line is I wouldn't marry someone I was incompatible with. And dramatically different views on money and credit would certainly qualify as incompatible.

Which is entirely your choice! All I am ultimately saying is that not everyone with a bad credit score is there because they are irresponsible with money. They can be there for reasons completely beyond their control. In fact, one such person, who has posted in this thread and stated that their credit rating was so low is in a fantastic relationship. Why? Because she got to know him, not his credit rating. Because they have communication, honesty and integrity. If you're going to love someone, love them, not their circumstances.

Yep, I do, I have been careful about paying all my bills on time & not overextending myself. I recently got an increase on a credit card. I don't plan on using it though. I limit myself to waht I know I can afford, not what creditors tell me I can have.

Those of us who have used credit wisely & lived within our means may come out of this recession with better off . Falling house prices & interest rates are just the oppourtunity I have been waiting for.

Agreed. Basic values & common goals are important. Finicial issues are a part of this.

HELL NO! Can't take care of business? That is a total lack of responsibility and it also could be a sign of a TOTAL drug addict.
That is also a red flag issue!

If they can't pay their bills what makes you think they can take care of business or not stab you in the back later?

Move along!!!

Or maybe it's because of a medical crisis or they lost their job or don't make enough money. Sometimes life deals some cards that make good credit more difficult to obtain.

It's not always a "total lack of responsibility".

It could happen to any one of us in a blink of an eye.

The issue that is important to me is not have much someone makes, has in the bank,or thier credit score. It's handleing thier finacial affairs with integrity.

I make less than 10.00 an hour & have good credit because I live within my means.I live in a 17 year old mobile home in a trailer park.I currently drive a 1989 Chevy truck, & am working OT & saving to replace the engine in my 2001 Saturn, which is the nicest car I have ever owned.
I have dated men that make much more than I do that simply do not understand that bills come before toys & partying. I am not looking for a man to pay my way, but I sure as hell am not going to live with someone who puts new golf clubs & 40.00 worth of drinks ahead of the electric bill & car payment.

I recently went to the ER & am expecting major bills. I week later the engine in my car blew. They bills haven't arrived yet & I am already working more & spending less to prepare. I have the credit to buy another car or replace the engine, but rather then overextending myself I bought a 700.00 truck, just to get to work. I will arrange to make small payments on the bill & it will be fine. No more eating out, no more magazines,I am eating ramen noodles, oatmeal & hot dogs right now but I am not going to ruin my credit & chance for buying land. Now if a pretty boy with fun toys asks me out fine. I am not playing 20 questions about his finances. If pretty boy is evicted for not paying his rent & wants to live with me my answer would be NO sell your toys & pay your bills.

can I borrow a hundred bucks?

i'm in the process of fixing my credit and i don't make it a point to tell someone that is the case for me unless they ask as i dont expect to marry them immediately and don't expect to consolidate my credit with theirs.

I know what i need to do to fix my issues credit wise and am doing that but i feel that's no ones business unless we get serious.

So how would you explain the man I dated then? Yes of course intelligence is of great import to me. Should I simply dumb myself down for the sake of a man? Hardly. I also do not require what essentially boils down to a contract with the state to sanctify my love for another. If you do, whatever. Thats feeble in my opinion.

I believe that I already did explain it. I never said intelligence, I stated education. One can be of great intelligence without having a degree. Apparently you don't need a state licence to sanctify your love for another, just the figures on his credit rating and a copy of his degree.

No you didn't explain it at tall. You simply misquoted and instead of responding logically, interjected emotion. I dated a man because I liked him and also because he was HONEST with me in regards to his financial situation.

I dont expect that you would do the same as you appear to be arguing that honesty is not necessary.

So why on earth would I have dated a man that eventually had to apply for bankruptcy? You keep dancing around that question, senator.

What did I misquote?

I am not arguing that honesty is not necessary, far from it, I am arguing that a measure of a person's worth shouldn't be their credit rating.

IMO you dated him as, due to his prestigious education that he was a "safe bet" (as I already mentioned), that he would bounce back.