Community > General Discussion

Topic: Debts
willy_cents Joined Sat 07/14/07 Posts: 4471	Thu 01/01/09 07:03 PM
Fact is most us are in debt these days!! everyone here NOT in debt other than the monthly stuff please raise hand (raises hand). If all else is positive in the relationship, why should that be a deal breaker? That is not a significant step from saying that your relationship is like a business proposition, cold and cruel. If you are unwilling to sacrifice some of what you have for them, and they the same, then the relationship is dead anyhow....JMAO

Totage Joined Sat 10/13/07 Posts: 24210	Thu 01/01/09 07:05 PM
So would anyone get involved with anyone who did not tell you that they had debts, that they were not making any payments? I would not, as that’s a lie and if there going to lie about that to you then what else are they going to lie about? but if they did tell you would you get involved with them ? That's their own business, I wouldn't judge them for not paying debts, I got debts I don't pay on.

hellkitten54 Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 11707	Thu 01/01/09 07:05 PM
second good answer it seems that some people really have an understanding of what someone with bad credit and debts can do to there life's. if you keep control of the money cashflow and overheads in check you can live very will. But what you may NOT understand what some are saying is, what I may have on debt is NOT of your concern. I would never ask someone to pay my way. It's not anyones business what I may have in debt. I would tell them the same thing.

Krimsa Joined Fri 04/25/08 Posts: 9960	Thu 01/01/09 07:14 PM Edited by Krimsa on Thu 01/01/09 07:15 PM
However what if you decide to co-habitate? Or marry. Then its very possible that their financial issues will attach themselves to you. Then its no longer a situation of "it none of my business". It might very well become your business when your credit is fu***e-

Annet Joined Thu 06/26/08 Posts: 271	Thu 01/01/09 07:15 PM
So would anyone get involved with anyone who did not tell you that they had debts, that they were not making any payments? I would not, as that’s a lie and if there going to lie about that to you then what else are they going to lie about? but if they did tell you would you get involved with them ? I have debt and am not making payments. Because that's what the lawyer told me to do. I'm slowly paying for a bankruptcy. Life happens, and suddenly you are making half of what you used to make. Sometimes life is more important that killing yourself at a job just because of the pay. Such stress you went through. You'll get through it. It's a slow process and telling anyone, tell a guy after you start getting serious. When I had problems, I told a bozo and realized it was a mistake. It makes sense to come clean when you're serious, otherwise don't. The honesty posted in this thread is another issue. You suffered enough. Take care. It's a fresh start.

SweetnFunny Joined Sat 11/01/08 Posts: 687	Thu 01/01/09 07:15 PM
So would anyone get involved with anyone who did not tell you that they had debts, that they were not making any payments? I would not, as that’s a lie and if there going to lie about that to you then what else are they going to lie about? but if they did tell you would you get involved with them ? This is a serious issue. It also becomes more of a problem the older you become. I think the best way to address this is to NOT rush into a financial commitment with a new man or woman. Keep your finances SEPARATE. "Thou shalt not combine resources or finances" Thats my newly invented commandment. There is no reason to make such a grievous error. If you're new mate is insisting that you share credit cards or bank accounts right away, thats a red flag. I have gold balls credit and the main reason I have this at 36 is I NEVER co-signed for a man on ANYTHING. Agrees!

hellkitten54 Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 11707	Thu 01/01/09 07:15 PM
However what if you decide to co-habitate? Or marry. Then its very possible that their financial issues will attach themselves to you. The its not longer a situation of "it none of my business". It might very well become your business when your credit is ****e- Well in that case, it is still MY BUSINESS to take care of. They have such things as credit consolidation. Not only that me personally, dont plan to do any of that, so I could care less.

SweetnFunny Joined Sat 11/01/08 Posts: 687	Thu 01/01/09 07:17 PM
If I am just dating the person, then no I don't think it is my business. Now if there is a relationship forming then I believe I have a right to know. I have worked hard to keep my credit in the high scores and well I would like to keep it there. Doubly agrees!

Krimsa Joined Fri 04/25/08 Posts: 9960	Thu 01/01/09 07:19 PM Edited by Krimsa on Thu 01/01/09 07:20 PM
However what if you decide to co-habitate? Or marry. Then its very possible that their financial issues will attach themselves to you. The its not longer a situation of "it none of my business". It might very well become your business when your credit is ****e- Well in that case, it is still MY BUSINESS to take care of. They have such things as credit consolidation. Not only that me personally, dont plan to do any of that, so I could care less. Well we are speaking in hypothetical terms here and some might be considering that or it could become a possibility. In the event that one or the other had serious financial problems, I feel it is only fair to be forthright about this. That way proper measures can be taken so the financial issues of one dont automatically attach to the other.

nogames39 Joined Sat 12/27/08 Posts: 2752	Thu 01/01/09 07:20 PM
But what you may NOT understand what some are saying is, what I may have on debt is NOT of your concern. I would never ask someone to pay my way. It's not anyones business what I may have in debt. I would tell them the same thing. You're sound hot.

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Thu 01/01/09 07:21 PM
So would anyone get involved with anyone who did not tell you that they had debts, that they were not making any payments? I would not, as that’s a lie and if there going to lie about that to you then what else are they going to lie about? but if they did tell you would you get involved with them ? No. Unfortunately, I was already involved with someone for many months before I found out. Its a question I should have asked BEFORE allowing them to move in with me. It has happened to me twice. That is a "must ask" question in the future. And, no one is moving into my place anymore. This isn't a homeless shelter here.

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Thu 01/01/09 07:21 PM Edited by angelindarkness on Thu 01/01/09 07:33 PM
Well we are speaking in hypothetical terms here and some might be considering that or it could become a possibility. In the event that one or the other had serious financial problems, I feel it is only fair to be forthright about this. That way proper measures can be taken so the financial issues of one dont automatically attach to the other. I agree, Krimsa.

SitkaRains Joined Thu 10/09/08 Posts: 17228	Thu 01/01/09 07:23 PM
However what if you decide to co-habitate? Or marry. I can't speak for anyone else only for me. I would want to know how and why they are in a financial bind like they are. Was it circumstances beyond their control? Was it because they would rather shop or party than pay bills. There is never a clear black and white answer to this. Are they living beyond their means now. I think one of the worst things a person could do with me in the beginning of a relationship is try to impress me and let their bills slide.

nogames39 Joined Sat 12/27/08 Posts: 2752	Thu 01/01/09 07:24 PM
Not making any form of payment is not good, btw. Why not honey? ..because, no-one worked to earn the money that you have spent... You know, like you need to have some damage before you can sue.. Same thing here.. There is no loss, because there was never any money before you have asked for it, so there is no damage.

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Thu 01/01/09 07:27 PM
I will not however pay for THEIR debts. Once you blend lives and assets, how is it indeed possible NOT to, in some way, shape or form. Any way you slice it or dice it, you're still going to be paying for their irresponsibility or misfortune.

angelindarkness Joined Sun 11/25/07 Posts: 6492	Thu 01/01/09 07:28 PM
Fact is most us are in debt these days!! If you are unwilling to sacrifice some of what you have for them, and they the same, then the relationship is dead anyhow....JMAO Ah yes, it becomes a question of "how much" can you tolerate or accept....

Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Thu 01/01/09 07:32 PM
Fact is most us are in debt these days!! Not me. I just owe on my house.

nogames39 Joined Sat 12/27/08 Posts: 2752	Thu 01/01/09 07:36 PM
Once you blend lives and assets, how is it indeed possible NOT to, in some way, shape or form. Any way you slice it or dice it, you're still going to be paying for their irresponsibility or misfortune. You forgot to mention of sharing their fortune. Very few object to that.

Krimsa Joined Fri 04/25/08 Posts: 9960	Thu 01/01/09 07:36 PM
Fact is most us are in debt these days!! Not me. I just owe on my house. I have some minor CC debt and a student loan so nothing too crazy. Not compared to many Americans at least. However I make diligent payments and I am constantly switching credit cards in order to keep the 0%. I try to stay on top of it. Thats all you can do really. Be as responsible as possible.

SitkaRains Joined Thu 10/09/08 Posts: 17228	Thu 01/01/09 07:37 PM
Fact is most us are in debt these days!! I have less than 500 in total debt. And I incurred that due to a death in the family and I needed to fly out. So not all of us are in debt.Debt scares the hell out of me.