Community > General Discussion

Topic: Debts
Drifters13 Joined Tue 12/25/07 Posts: 1769	Thu 01/08/09 04:13 PM
It also depends on what point of your relationship you at too. If your getting ready to get married then I see your point. but if you have only been dating for a year or two and it's not moving to marrage, then no, it isn't anyones business. Scroll back. That has been my position this entire thread. Also I am hardly a "gold digger". I have excellent credit and am completely self sufficient. So in that case I have a lot to protect. I would need to know the spending habits and current financial standing of any man with which I choose to enter into a serious relationship with or co-habitation situation. My fault, I missed that. so for the most part we are on the same page. However I still feel thatif the person I'm living with is making their end of the house hold bills then their money issues arn't my business. I'm not going to pay their debts for them and they arn't going to pay mine.

Krimsa Joined Fri 04/25/08 Posts: 9960	Thu 01/08/09 04:19 PM
However I still feel thatif the person I'm living with is making their end of the house hold bills then their money issues arn't my business. I'm not going to pay their debts for them and they arn't going to pay mine. That’s fair enough. The only issue I would need to guard myself against is their deliberate deception as it related to their finances as that could very well lead to them dragging me down with them. I don’t care about them as much as their ability to cause me harm. I’m a realist.

Drifters13 Joined Tue 12/25/07 Posts: 1769	Thu 01/08/09 04:26 PM
However I still feel thatif the person I'm living with is making their end of the house hold bills then their money issues arn't my business. I'm not going to pay their debts for them and they arn't going to pay mine. That’s fair enough. The only issue I would need to guard myself against is their deliberate deception as it related to their finances as that could very well lead to them dragging me down with them. I don’t care about them as much as their ability to cause me harm. I’m a realist. As long as your not married then there is no harm thay can do to you with their debts. Once your married then thats a different story.

talldub Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 2629	Thu 01/08/09 04:32 PM
Really? It sounds more like you're prone to leaping to conclusions. Whatever works for you is all that matters though. Night! Oh no, jumping to conclusions is not my cup of whiskey.... I make fully educated conclusions based on a vast array of information. Have a wonderful night, tell me how you feel in the morning when you look at yourself in the mirror. Thanks! I'll be sure and let you know! Sweet dreams

Krimsa Joined Fri 04/25/08 Posts: 9960	Thu 01/08/09 04:37 PM
However I still feel thatif the person I'm living with is making their end of the house hold bills then their money issues arn't my business. I'm not going to pay their debts for them and they arn't going to pay mine. That’s fair enough. The only issue I would need to guard myself against is their deliberate deception as it related to their finances as that could very well lead to them dragging me down with them. I don’t care about them as much as their ability to cause me harm. I’m a realist. As long as your not married then there is no harm thay can do to you with their debts. Once your married then thats a different story. Well personally I won’t marry. I have my own reasons for that. If I were to for some reason, I would ask for a pre-nup. That’s not exactly true. You can get yourself into all kinds of problems. Even if you went to extreme lengths to keep your finances separate, if they have irresponsible spending habits, chances are that will lead to a tremendous amount of arguing and strain on the relationship. If you decide to co-habitat, you will both be on the lease. Why put your self through that if you don’t have to provided that they are honest.

talldub Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 2629	Fri 01/09/09 02:47 AM
Really? It sounds more like you're prone to leaping to conclusions. Whatever works for you is all that matters though. Night! Oh no, jumping to conclusions is not my cup of whiskey.... I make fully educated conclusions based on a vast array of information. Have a wonderful night, tell me how you feel in the morning when you look at yourself in the mirror. Thanks! I'll be sure and let you know! Sweet dreams Morning! Just letting you know how totally and utterly fantastic i feel this morning! Have a wonderful day.

Krimsa Joined Fri 04/25/08 Posts: 9960	Fri 01/09/09 03:32 AM


talldub Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 2629	Fri 01/09/09 06:21 AM


Krimsa Joined Fri 04/25/08 Posts: 9960	Fri 01/09/09 06:22 AM
This thread has probably run its course anyway. People are polarized in their positions and they have that right. So be it.

DragonFlyTat Joined Fri 08/29/08 Posts: 3759	Fri 01/09/09 06:28 AM
After getting to know the other person and you start opening up you should be up front about your debts and other issues. It is only fair. You don't want to get into a relationship and then have to bail out the other. That is never healthy.

Lily0923 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 20429	Fri 01/09/09 03:23 PM
Really? It sounds more like you're prone to leaping to conclusions. Whatever works for you is all that matters though. Night! Oh no, jumping to conclusions is not my cup of whiskey.... I make fully educated conclusions based on a vast array of information. Have a wonderful night, tell me how you feel in the morning when you look at yourself in the mirror. Thanks! I'll be sure and let you know! Sweet dreams Morning! Just letting you know how totally and utterly fantastic i feel this morning! Have a wonderful day. Good, glad to see that your dishonesty doesn't just stop at lieing to others, it goes so far as to lie to yourself... that's par for the course isn't it?

talldub Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 2629	Fri 01/09/09 03:59 PM
No, that wasn't a lie, 100 percent true.

heathersaysgobucks Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 5306	Fri 01/09/09 04:11 PM
For the same reasons I always disclose the fact that I am a fat chick right away.......hiding your general financial stability leads to misunderstandings down the road. I think either thing would be fairly obvious once the relationship progresses. Aren't finances sort of directly related to character? I mean, if you have a history of bailing out on your responsibilities, wouldn't this be a tell tale sign of how you would react in other areas of your life as well? I personally don't want to be dating someone who tries to hide the fact that they have a finance issue. Put it on the table and tell me how YOU plan to fix it. I would totally pick the guy who had a problem and also the plan to ultimately solve it over the guy who incurs debt and runs. I don't care if that first guy didn't have a pot to pee in, at least he has the guts to admit it and attainable goals to buy the pot. Money is so overrated anyhow. Live simply and pay as you go.