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| Topic: Depression support - part 4 | |
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Hey all, been tryig to get over being sick in my guts about my break up. I dont miss him, just am sick of feeling dirty and used. I found out from his other gf that she met him at an orgie. Apparently he is perverted. He was a very good actor....there is more but I cant type it all out right now. Still too fresh in my mind.....ty amber, yeah i know he was a jack ***, but i let myself fall for another wierdo.
Love you all! Karen |
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I wish for you comfort through getting over your breakup, Karen. I know it hurts worse through each breakup. After a while it is easy to lose faith in the opposite sex when you have had disappointments.
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Well, I am glad you are fighting to hang in there, Ken. I went to a meeting, tonight. I had picked up this third edition Big Book for a dime at a yard sale last week and was wondering what to do with it. Tonight at the meeting I gave it to my sponsor. My sponsor who can be just as sarcastic as me really appreciated it because he hasn't been able to find his big book. It still had the ten cent sticker on it so he will be able to easy tell it is his. He kept saying thank you for the book so I told him that he was worth every penny I paid for the book.  Not to be outdone he told me that I shouldn't have put myself out like that as there might be someone more deserving than him. He also told me that next week that he is getting new hearing aides so that we will have to quit talking about him during the meetings. Tonight, we had a newcomer who is just as deaf as he is so it was an interesting meeting hearing them both say, "Huh?" back and forth.
The big book is priceless. Hope your sponser gets his hearing aid... |
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Don't give up, Ken. I know many people diagnosed with bipolar disorder who are married or in relationships and they are making it work. It is really hard, of course. It is hard for everyone. I haven't been on much in the past months, just check in now and then. Was thinking about this thread and all of you just the other day. I hope you are all well. Stay around Ken and talk to people, don't isolate yourself. Take care of yourself and hope you all have a great weekend. Good to see you Marie...I don't know how long I'll be here. Just catching up with old friends for the most part. It's difficult sometimes to accept the bipolar because it has stripped me of having any kind of life and happiness. But I know I have to keep fighting. Hope you are well.... 
well I'll be a monkey's uncle....hey Ken!!!! the bipolar is gettin the better of me too hon. Me and my fiance are fighting all the time and he doesn't get it that dealing with it is soooooo friggin hard. It also sucks when it messes with your concentration and you're trying to take your final exam.....lol I guess you and I both need our butts whooped for losing touch with this thread and all the wonderful friends we've made on here. 
Hey Amber...hang in there. Seems you are under a lot of stress with exams. You are right about the people on here. I feel guilty sometimes just coming in once in a blue moon and sounding off. They deserve better... |
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Hey all, been tryig to get over being sick in my guts about my break up. I dont miss him, just am sick of feeling dirty and used. I found out from his other gf that she met him at an orgie. Apparently he is perverted. He was a very good actor....there is more but I cant type it all out right now. Still too fresh in my mind.....ty amber, yeah i know he was a jack ***, but i let myself fall for another wierdo. Love you all! Karen Dang Karen...so sorry this happened. My prayers are with you. My heart is in a healing mode too but what you went through would make me very angry. Don't blame yourself...he is the one with the problem. |
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Edited by
RainbowTrout
on
Sat 07/03/10 06:38 PM
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The big book is priceless. Hope your sponser gets his hearing aid... He got his hearing aide.  He kept saying at the last meeting, "I heard that" whenever someone would say something. He got some expensive hearing aides at the Veterans Administration. They are very sensitive and it is nice not hearing him saying, "Would you speak up?" or "Could you repeat that?". He told us that we would have to stop talking about him during the meetings because he can hear us now. Now I can call my sponsor and he can tell when his cell phone is working because the sophisticated hearing aide can work with his cell phone. He still wants me to get back into ham radio though.
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The big book is priceless. Hope your sponser gets his hearing aid... He got his hearing aide. He kept saying at the last meeting, "I heard that" whenever someone would say something. He got some expensive hearing aides at the Veterans Administration. They are very sensitive and it is nice not hearing him saying, "Would you speak up?" or "Could you repeat that?". He told us that we would have to stop talking about him during the meetings because he can hear us now. Now I can call my sponsor and he can tell when his cell phone is working because the sophisticated hearing aide can work with his cell phone. He still wants me to get back into ham radio though.
Good news he got the hearing aid...just watch what you say from now on...
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I sort of fell for someone recently. But circumstances will prevent us from getting together. We both got very close online and we met in person and we really clicked. Her feelings for me were the same as mine for her.
A big reason for not getting together can be blamed on the bipolar. I am not able to work and have not worked for 15 years now. I had a nice career going with a chance to make a ton of money. But that was all wiped out because the bipolar spiked and I have never recovered. It got way worse and continues to get worse with every passing year. I cannot work and make enough money to support us. This is not just an obstacle with the one I just met in person but with other women. I have been blessed to have every opportunity to have a successful career. But the bipolar just rips it away...I couldn't finish college because of the bipolar. I worked and got raises and promotions in every job I ever had. But the bipolar takes it all away. My last job, I was being groomed for a management position where I could have made a ton of money and lived almost anywhere in the world I wanted to. My last day at the job, I was told I went into the break room and was sobbing uncontrollably. I can't remember all that happened that day but for months all I did was cry all day. I just broke down and have never recovered....not even close. I have no idea why it happened...it just did. The frustration I feel now is too much to handle. I have so much love to give and I treat women so well, but I am alone and will be alone for the rest of my life. This is a terrible disorder that robs people of who they are. It is progressive and will never get better...only worse. It takes away 10 years of your lifespan and I am starting to suffer more and more physically. My daily physical pain is getting bad, I have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and other physical problems that prevent me from sleeping well. So I am in a place where I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so tired...tired of trying and fighting everyday just to get out of bed sometimes. But I will keep going. It will be a very lonely life for me from now on. Partly because I have never had many friends and now I am so set in my ways, I don't want any friends...so it is my fault I am so lonely. I just hope and pray some cure is found one day. Not for me...it's too late as it is ingrained in me too deep. But for others who haven't lived through a daily grinding pain for over 30 years as I have. Thanks for listening.... Ken |
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Well, we are here for you in spirit, Ken. I had the uncontrollable crying fits with the passing of my wife and with my rage. I couldn't help much with the grief; I just had to live through the uncomfortable part. But with the rage I have had help. I would get so into a rage I would just cry in the break room. Of course it too was part of the grief and working where I do in the nursing home I get to see a lot of rage. It made me think of when I worked at the boat factory and one person told if I didn't go into a fit a rage he was. He said everyone felt better after I did it but it was embarrassing for me. To be embarrassed by one's anger I knew of nobody else having. I have found some nice bipolar people at work who are nurses. They always warned me before hand one even told me she couldn't deal with this one resident because she was having a fit with the bipolar but would help me when I needed help with a resident. I am sorry it didn't work out for you and your special someone. Just this morning this resident told me that I could do anything I liked with her when I getting her dressed. She told me just me talking to her and being with her made all the difference in the world.
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Things are really bad...just can't take it anymore.
I have noone to talk to in my life. I just hurt so much. |
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Feeling much better...had a real epiphany today.
Thank goodness for this thread. It allows me to spew out all the negative and focus more on the positive. |
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I sort of fell for someone recently. But circumstances will prevent us from getting together. We both got very close online and we met in person and we really clicked. Her feelings for me were the same as mine for her. A big reason for not getting together can be blamed on the bipolar. I am not able to work and have not worked for 15 years now. I had a nice career going with a chance to make a ton of money. But that was all wiped out because the bipolar spiked and I have never recovered. It got way worse and continues to get worse with every passing year. I cannot work and make enough money to support us. This is not just an obstacle with the one I just met in person but with other women. I have been blessed to have every opportunity to have a successful career. But the bipolar just rips it away...I couldn't finish college because of the bipolar. I worked and got raises and promotions in every job I ever had. But the bipolar takes it all away. My last job, I was being groomed for a management position where I could have made a ton of money and lived almost anywhere in the world I wanted to. My last day at the job, I was told I went into the break room and was sobbing uncontrollably. I can't remember all that happened that day but for months all I did was cry all day. I just broke down and have never recovered....not even close. I have no idea why it happened...it just did. The frustration I feel now is too much to handle. I have so much love to give and I treat women so well, but I am alone and will be alone for the rest of my life. This is a terrible disorder that robs people of who they are. It is progressive and will never get better...only worse. It takes away 10 years of your lifespan and I am starting to suffer more and more physically. My daily physical pain is getting bad, I have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and other physical problems that prevent me from sleeping well. So I am in a place where I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so tired...tired of trying and fighting everyday just to get out of bed sometimes. But I will keep going. It will be a very lonely life for me from now on. Partly because I have never had many friends and now I am so set in my ways, I don't want any friends...so it is my fault I am so lonely. I just hope and pray some cure is found one day. Not for me...it's too late as it is ingrained in me too deep. But for others who haven't lived through a daily grinding pain for over 30 years as I have. Thanks for listening.... Ken So sorry to hear all that has happened to you Ken.. I understand though because my stepson is bipolar, very smart , but cannot hold a job.. he quit taking his meds but now smokes pot, says it works better and is cheaper.. I can't blame him..and I know how you feel.. I have had problems all my life, learned later that my family was dysfunctional.. I had a breakdown when I was 23 and 2 mo pregnant with my 4th child.. Its good to have a place like this you can come to and vent when needed... |
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Edited by
RainbowTrout
on
Tue 07/13/10 07:34 PM
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Feeling much better...had a real epiphany today. Thank goodness for this thread. It allows me to spew out all the negative and focus more on the positive. I am glad that happened for you. One can't say that the negative doesn't exist. A good purge lets us get it out. We are still lovable after all. That is why venting is so important for me. I love to help others but sometimes it can be a hard thing to do. Especially if all they are seeing is the negative. It can have the effect of bringing you down. Just got back from a meeting and today's reading in the little black 24 hour book was good. We have to get recharged now and then or otherwise we have nothing to give. My meetings are to me like getting my battery recharged so that I don't forget where I came from. I can see where a spiritual experience and an epiphany could be quite similar. The reading lets us know that we have something to look forward to as we grow old. The daily reflections had a good article today about the good and the bad of self-reliance. As always we can go to extremes. Sometimes I like to sing that song at Disney World; "Its a small world after all."
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I sort of fell for someone recently. But circumstances will prevent us from getting together. We both got very close online and we met in person and we really clicked. Her feelings for me were the same as mine for her. A big reason for not getting together can be blamed on the bipolar. I am not able to work and have not worked for 15 years now. I had a nice career going with a chance to make a ton of money. But that was all wiped out because the bipolar spiked and I have never recovered. It got way worse and continues to get worse with every passing year. I cannot work and make enough money to support us. This is not just an obstacle with the one I just met in person but with other women. I have been blessed to have every opportunity to have a successful career. But the bipolar just rips it away...I couldn't finish college because of the bipolar. I worked and got raises and promotions in every job I ever had. But the bipolar takes it all away. My last job, I was being groomed for a management position where I could have made a ton of money and lived almost anywhere in the world I wanted to. My last day at the job, I was told I went into the break room and was sobbing uncontrollably. I can't remember all that happened that day but for months all I did was cry all day. I just broke down and have never recovered....not even close. I have no idea why it happened...it just did. The frustration I feel now is too much to handle. I have so much love to give and I treat women so well, but I am alone and will be alone for the rest of my life. This is a terrible disorder that robs people of who they are. It is progressive and will never get better...only worse. It takes away 10 years of your lifespan and I am starting to suffer more and more physically. My daily physical pain is getting bad, I have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and other physical problems that prevent me from sleeping well. So I am in a place where I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so tired...tired of trying and fighting everyday just to get out of bed sometimes. But I will keep going. It will be a very lonely life for me from now on. Partly because I have never had many friends and now I am so set in my ways, I don't want any friends...so it is my fault I am so lonely. I just hope and pray some cure is found one day. Not for me...it's too late as it is ingrained in me too deep. But for others who haven't lived through a daily grinding pain for over 30 years as I have. Thanks for listening.... Ken So sorry to hear all that has happened to you Ken.. I understand though because my stepson is bipolar, very smart , but cannot hold a job.. he quit taking his meds but now smokes pot, says it works better and is cheaper.. I can't blame him..and I know how you feel.. I have had problems all my life, learned later that my family was dysfunctional.. I had a breakdown when I was 23 and 2 mo pregnant with my 4th child.. Its good to have a place like this you can come to and vent when needed... Thanks...prayers for your stepson,,,and for you. This is a good place to vent. Keep posting... |
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Feeling much better...had a real epiphany today. Thank goodness for this thread. It allows me to spew out all the negative and focus more on the positive. I am glad that happened for you. One can't say that the negative doesn't exist. A good purge lets us get it out. We are still lovable after all. That is why venting is so important for me. I love to help others but sometimes it can be a hard thing to do. Especially if all they are seeing is the negative. It can have the effect of bringing you down. Just got back from a meeting and today's reading in the little black 24 hour book was good. We have to get recharged now and then or otherwise we have nothing to give. My meetings are to me like getting my battery recharged so that I don't forget where I came from. I can see where a spiritual experience and an epiphany could be quite similar. The reading lets us know that we have something to look forward to as we grow old. The daily reflections had a good article today about the good and the bad of self-reliance. As always we can go to extremes. Sometimes I like to sing that song at Disney World; "Its a small world after all."
Thanks RT...a good purge is needed now and then....lol. I have been way too focused on the negative. You are right in saying noone can help when you are in such a state. But we do need to recharge our batteries sometimes like you said. I guess venting on this thread does that for me. Thanks for your advice. |
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I'm having some trouble with depression and fear. I've not been sleeping well and definitely not dealing well during the day.
Recommendations for natural help? Vitamins? Herbal? I've been on Zoloft(yuck), and Paxil(that's tough crap to come off of). I want to try something natural, along with diet and exercise changes. I'm taking St. Johns Wort, just started tonight. 
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I'm having some trouble with depression and fear. I've not been sleeping well and definitely not dealing well during the day. Recommendations for natural help? Vitamins? Herbal? I've been on Zoloft(yuck), and Paxil(that's tough crap to come off of). I want to try something natural, along with diet and exercise changes. I'm taking St. Johns Wort, just started tonight.
Try melatonin for sleep. It is natural and not expensive at all. Good luck!! |
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Hello, new to the topic but I see many familiar faces, glad I'm not the only one with an interest for the subject.
My depression was aggravated by years of accumulating frustrations that I could not resolve. Kept getting more and more depressed. I've bean recovering for 5 years now. I wonder sometimes if I will be recovering all my life and if this in between state is till the end. In between exuberant passion and sustained nihilism. I feel comfortable here, I'm stable, I believe in my therapy but feel a bit lost without any ambition. Just living day to day trying to keep my darker thoughts at bay. I have spent over 20 years trying to be someone else. So I'm trying to get back to who I want to be. In a world where people rely on appearances and the first thing said to form their said 'judgment' it's hard to be a person with avowed layers. (this is the part where I feel sorry for myself) Anyway just hoping to find some echo in here Cheers |
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I'm having some trouble with depression and fear. I've not been sleeping well and definitely not dealing well during the day. Recommendations for natural help? Vitamins? Herbal? I've been on Zoloft(yuck), and Paxil(that's tough crap to come off of). I want to try something natural, along with diet and exercise changes. I'm taking St. Johns Wort, just started tonight.
Try melatonin for sleep. It is natural and not expensive at all. Good luck!! Personaly I still go for a 'good night' herbal tea mix, always does the trick |
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oh yes, and meditation, focusing away from your thoughts, even if you just stare at the blackness of your closed eyes
I found at one point that gently brutalizing myself to sleep was helpful, telling myself that I'm here to sleep not f++k around. After 4- 5 times it works. But you have to be motivated to do that. |
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