Thank you! Good to see that you are still here. I miss Marie too.....Havent had a chance to meet everyone new but just write and Ill try to answer swiftly.

Love you all!!!!

Karen

chirp chirp chirp

I have been hearing those crickets here, too at night. How you been doing, Karen?

heavy chit---rock on eh

Hi Roy, same crickets, lol. Hanging in there. Just had a break up so not feeling so hot. I know it will pass, but still hurts. He just couldnt stand my limitations. Even after I told him everything from the beginng. PPPFTTTT!!!!

I sorry to hear about the break up. You seemed so happy before when you were with him. If that was him. I guess we all have to learn our limitations. I think that will make us stronger. It is good to hear you are still trying, Karen.

He was a jacka$$......I know i haven't been on here in forever!!!! I've started school and right around midterms i got real sick.... hope y'all been doin ok!

I was wondering what happened to you, Amber. Nice to see the thread resurerected.

Roy, I've been extremely sick. I had to have two emergency surgeries for kidney stone removal back in May. My fiancee and I (who I met on here) have been going through a lot with a pregnancy loss and my mom being diagnosed with colon cancer, having that cancer removed and now going through recovery.

I started school 2 weeks after I lost the baby, just finished my first quarter. I'm studying Culinary Arts at the Art Institute of Raleigh-Durham (thankfully it's only 30 miles from home....lol).

I am sorry for your hard times, Amber. Good to know your fiancée is still with you through it. Hope you do well at the school. Probably get to learn how to make some yummy dishes. I have been building a room for an addition to my house. Just this month mom wanted me to put the electric in my name. I am wondering if Arkansas is the only state that makes one pay deposits for utilities. I have had two electric bills in my name in 1976-1980 and in 1986-1999. But Entergy says they have no recollection of it. They tell me the $220 deposit will be given back to me after 12 months of service providing I am not late on my bill.

Oh, the Carolinas make ya pay a deposit too. I had to drop one class, failed another, and made a "D" in yet another class this past quarter. This coming quarter tho, two of my four classes are online. This was a suggestion of my advisor (also head of the Culinary Department) so that I can recover from all of my surgeries. He also "ordered" me NOT to even sign up for a "kitchen class" until at least the fall quarter.

Reminds me, Amber when I went to college at Wichita State University. I arrived in Wichita, Kansas February 7, 1983 on a very cold and snowy day. Went through the detox center soon after. 45 days days later got into Hope House on Market and 15th street at that time. Later was able to get enrolled at the college for summer class if I remember right. Was doing pretty good with the English class of 101 but just couldn't get the hang of Algebra. I didn't drop it soon enough so I got a D. Did okay with Creative Writing and got an A but then got into Business Writing then got the D. My advisor seen I was doing okay in the rest of English except Literature so told me to stick with the Creative Writing. Thought Philosophy was pretty cool and had an interest in Psychology 101 but made a D in Child Psychology. Heck, even later and more recent I had to take the clinicals in Nursing School over even though I did good on the written test. Hang in there; I remember taking my maintenance tests sometimes as many as 6 times over. It is kind of like this guy who is walking and a friend tells him he is going the opposite way. He replies, "The earth is round, right?" And the friend says, "Right". So he tells the friend, "Don't worry about it; I will get there."

Nice to see some familiar faces...Rainbow, Amber, Creations....hope you are all well.

Won't be here for long. I am currently trying to cope with the fact I will be alone for the rest of my life. It will never happen for me and to realize that is overwhelming.

I have basically been alone all my life. You would think I would be used to it by now.

Bipolar disorder is just a hideous condition to have. It has stripped me of my life and of any happiness. I have fought against this for 30 years but I don't have much fight left in me. Why keep trying?

This has helped me more than once, mbcasey.



The Promises, that are read in many A.A. Meetings can be found on page 83-84, of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous.

THE A.A. PROMISES
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Don't give up, Ken. I know many people diagnosed with bipolar disorder who are married or in relationships and they are making it work. It is really hard, of course. It is hard for everyone.

I haven't been on much in the past months, just check in now and then. Was thinking about this thread and all of you just the other day.

I hope you are all well.

Stay around Ken and talk to people, don't isolate yourself.
Take care of yourself and hope you all have a great weekend.

Glad you could check in, Marie. Been working on the new room. Its finally cool enough to work on it in the mornings. Kathy was just out there a little bit ago taking pictures of me driving the concrete nails in on the walls to the pad. Some of the nails actually went in without bending.

Thanks RT...I am in a self pity mood now....

It will take some time to get back to my old pathetic self....

Good to see you Marie...I don't know how long I'll be here. Just catching up with old friends for the most part.

It's difficult sometimes to accept the bipolar because it has stripped me of having any kind of life and happiness. But I know I have to keep fighting.

Hope you are well....

Well, I am glad you are fighting to hang in there, Ken. I went to a meeting, tonight. I had picked up this third edition Big Book for a dime at a yard sale last week and was wondering what to do with it. Tonight at the meeting I gave it to my sponsor. My sponsor who can be just as sarcastic as me really appreciated it because he hasn't been able to find his big book. It still had the ten cent sticker on it so he will be able to easy tell it is his. He kept saying thank you for the book so I told him that he was worth every penny I paid for the book. Not to be outdone he told me that I shouldn't have put myself out like that as there might be someone more deserving than him. He also told me that next week that he is getting new hearing aides so that we will have to quit talking about him during the meetings. Tonight, we had a newcomer who is just as deaf as he is so it was an interesting meeting hearing them both say, "Huh?" back and forth.

well I'll be a monkey's uncle....hey Ken!!!! the bipolar is gettin the better of me too hon. Me and my fiance are fighting all the time and he doesn't get it that dealing with it is soooooo friggin hard. It also sucks when it messes with your concentration and you're trying to take your final exam.....lol

I guess you and I both need our butts whooped for losing touch with this thread and all the wonderful friends we've made on here.