i dont beleive in soulmates. just two people who enjoy eachothers company more than just friends

100/100 is 200% effort. That means it's just 2 seperate people that are together, apparetly putting there indiviaul efforts tword being together.

A relastionship is 2 people, working together twords being together. thus working as 1 entity, with a total of 100%.

The differnce is doing your own thing and working together. Compatability means it's the same thing. Being completed and such simply means that you found the person who naturally fills in your weakness's, which is can be either working together or just the person. 2 people can both be messy, and one can learn to clean or you can find someone who is naturally clean when your messy. The work in a relastionships always tends to be compensating for the things you lack that the other needs. that being said, change is part of a relastionship, and if miscommunication is why couples grow apart, its probly because they are changing the oposite way there sig other wants em to.

Unique.... you aren't getting it. It's NOT 200% effort, it is each peson giving 100%. Each person is separate and whole, they have 100% to give. Saying 50/50, in what I am saying, means that the other person is not whole and only has half of themselves to share, as the other person completes them. A relationship is two people together, giving all of themselves to share in their lives together.

In my OP I spoke of enrichment and compliments... that in no way is a completion. JMO

I disagree, a relationship encompasses 100% effort on both parties, it is not my 100 plus 100 = 200. If I put forth 50% that means I am only putting half of my total energy/attention to the relationship. (jmo)

two people will always equal two people - just because you are striving for a common goal, future, it does not fuse 2 individuals together.
again jmo

If I ever viewed myself in a relationship as one entity....

The very thought makes bile rise in my throat. My post was exactly against that sort of thinking. Can you explain why you would become fused and enmeshed with your partner rather than inspired, complimented, and satisfied?

I totally agree with this Lilith. I too, am very content with being single. Hell, I had a great time being single. When I was single, it was all about ME and all about my daughter. I didn't want that to ever go away. So I kind of got to the point where I would go out from time to time on "dates" but had NO expectations....."or at least very little".... So there I was, meeting new girl after new girl. I had some good times and some not so good times. But I knew with all of them, that they were NOT for me. I sat there and realized that there is no such thing as a soul mate. That I could get along with a bunch of different personalities and if I just didn't want to be single anymore, I would've "settled" for one of them. But I didn't. I liked being single and wanted to stay single. Then I met my current girlfriend, and her personality complimented mine. Everything was so easy with her although at the same time, I KNEW I didn't NEED her, I WANTED to be with her. She made me feel good and I had so much fun with her that I figured, let's give it a shot. Well, 7 months later, we are still together and although we have hit a bump or 2, we're still going strong because we know that neither one of us NEEDS the other one, but we WANTED each other.

It would be too easy to "settle" or lower your standards to find someone to be with, but you would be unhappy all over again, why bother, so it takes as long as it takes to find someone close to what your looking for, because no-one is perfect. For me I just sit back & watch the show

JT, I like turtles more and more as you reveal what a sensitive and complicated guy you really are. Thank you so much for sharing the serious side of you.

My late husband hated that 50/50 saying as well as the "give and take". HE said, "if both are giving 100%, Nobody has to TAKE anything"

I agree

I do not need someone I infact want to be with someone and that person will be someone who compliments me in may ways. She will bring out the best in me as I will bring the best out in her. She will view my faults not as a weakness but a place where we can make our relationship grow and become stronger.

Soulmate to me is a word that is used to explain the hole that some people have inside them that needs filled. They think that a person will fill it but in fact it is a part of them they do not understand. I feel when you learn to fill that hole yourself and become a complete person, then and only then you will meet the right one for you.
You will be able to look below the surface and begin to see a person for who they really are, and not be lost in the shallowness of looks, material objects, and what others think. I am not saying looks do not play a part in meeting someone but I want that one that stimulates my mind as much as my senses.

I like that, might I use it too?

your only complete when you are content with yourself

Oh Lilith....I'm always serious.................ok, maybe not.

Sure.

Ding Ding Ding..... and if you are not content and happy with yourself, how can you be in a content and happy relationship?

Give this man a flushable wipe....

Seperate a relastion as 3 parts, each person and the relastionship they have together. if both people are putting in 100% into the relastionship, they are making an equal effort, or half the total effort (50%). If one person is putting in 100% and the other is putting in 100% and the other is putting in 10% then the relastionship is 90/10.

To answer your question, isn't the whole point of a relastionship to get close to someone and share stuff? Some people feel secure when fused or enmeshed in there partners lifes, and work better that way. They both put all their effort in reaching the same goals. Others prefer to go after their own goals and share them with their partner. Either way, at some point you have to rely on the other person. Even if its only emotional support. Otherwise whats the differnce between a relastionship and a friend you screw?

Still, i honestly think it works out based on personalitys. i've dated both types. Enmeshed and obessed goes fast, and is wild and exciting. It usually by passes and ignores all the warning signs, but tends to hold a deeper commitment if both party's are at the same place. If it ends, your worlds are torn apart, and you generally feel more secure in the relastionship early on. Independant you feel alot less secure, and your putting in alot less energy into the relastionship. You see the warning signs, and it's easy to get out. They typically last for shorter time peroids. Both have posatives and negatives. It really depends on what you want. Though i will say this, sparks fly alot more when you talk to someone for hours a day, but that doesn't mean they start any more fires then if you spread it over a month or two.

This is why I love Mannequins!!

Cause their independant and inspire you?

gonna hold my mannequin gonna hold it tight gonna get me some plastic putang tonite