Pay an ex Merrill Employee to take the exam for you.

Thats what we all do.

"BERLIN (Reuters) - An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three
people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the
rampaging animal with his crutch.

The squirrel first ran into a house in the southern town of Passau,
leapt from behind on a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her
hand, a local police spokesman said Thursday.

With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the
street in panic, where she managed to shake it off."

Read all the gory glory:
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSL1432171020070614?feedType=RSS&rpc=22

Start burning cow-dung as fuel in an outdoor bbq grill. The
stink-warfare might cure them of their habits.

Take apart a cheapy DVD burner to "liberate" the laser-diode that you
can power with plain old batteries. It will be hot enough to pop
balloons, and irritate your friends hands (wont do much else though).

http://www.makezine.com/blog/archive/2007/06/how_to_make_a_laser_more.html

Dont be jealous - go give it a try! Seriously!

Hi BoredChick,

I would disagree. Divorce is acceptable if either party desires it. It
is a rule within many/most christian denominations that forbid divorce
except in the 2 situations you mention.

-Mike

Divorce is not a sin. Thats why its in the Bible. The rules,
requirements and procedures are all there. Obviously, the BigMan
realized that such things would be required. Sure, Jesus said that God
"hates divorce". Who doesnt? I think it makes it clear that divorce is
part of life, it happens, and we have responsibilities and rights even
in the hell of 'divorce'.

Seems like wisdom to me.

And, it seems to me that if you really value the sanctity of marrige,
you HAVE to allow for divorce. You have to allow for situations where
the continuance of the marrige is blasphemy to the idea of love. Even
the holy Temple needed periodic cleanings!

An honest man should walk proud.

The reason why pastor's love the "Going to Hell" talk is because we all
love drama. We all love excitement, danger, scandal. We like to look
round the room and see "who looks scared, guilty".

I don't think many ppl take it as serious, as they seriously enjoy the
show. I'm not suggesting the ppl are being fake or insincere, but,
simply that for many ppl, its plain fun. Not much different than going
to horror-movies. If you think about it, its got the same themes!

In honor of Steve Martin's "The Jerk", how about Sh1thead?

The title was intentionally misleading to be funny.

"whats the #1 thing missing n all relationship?"

For any of you ladies wondering whats the #1 thing missing in your
relationship, I have the answer: Me!

<grin>
-Mike

What better place to get high than Southern California? What better
occasion than to be a fool in front of your entire family at the
youngest brother's wedding?

I had been out to visit my brother a year before. He lives in the
"desert" not far from Edwards Air Force base, with their giant salt lake
beds large enough for the Space Shuttle to land on. You get the picture.
Last year I noticed that there was a glider-park, and thought "...next
time I come out here, I'm *GOING* to try that!". Here I am, a year later
driving past the park. In the car with me is my 13yr old daughter, my
mother and father. We're hot, tired of sitting in the car for 3 hours,
and just wanting to get to the Wedding Rehearsal. I turn down the dirt
road leading nowhere - "Where you going Mike??" they all asked. My
father chuckled, he figured it out quickly enough. He was probably
thinking the same thing.

At the end of the dirt road was a trailer, several gliders
("sail-planes" as I was corrected later), and a regular plane towing one
of the gliders down the runway. I went into the trailer to ask about
"joy rides" with a pilot. Sure! But! Today is such a beautiful day that
we're booked straight through the day. Sorry. Maybe tommorow. Like a
hurt puppy, I begged to leave my number should anyone cancel. Back to
the car. Back to the wedding. My daughter was dissapointed - she thought
that SHE was going to fly.

Near sunset later in the day, they called me. "If you're still
interested, come quickly, there's one slot open before we close shop". I
asked my brother if he was OK with my rudely slipping away for an hour.
He didn’t believe me, but was encouraging me all the same. Zoom. I was
there. I walked into the trialer, and a very fit tall older man grabbed
my hand in a shake that could only be understood as "Marine". In a
typical Marine fashion he wasted no time, leading out the door. "Ok, our
standard policy is to spend 15 minutes on the ground for instruction,
but, seeing that we're close to sunset, its not going to happen today.
Grab a wing" he pointed at the gorgeous sailplane sitting before us. I
grabbed the wing - looking stupid. He walked round to the other side,
grabbed the other wing, and we pushed the sail plane onto the runway.
"Hop in" he said. I walked started to climb into the secondary seat.
"Nope. Wrong seat, passengers up front where I can see you." he said
with a laugh. The front seat! SWEEEET!

"Ever fly in a sail-plane?" he asked.
"Nope."
A little dissapointed he said, "so why are you here?"
I looked back with a "...why not?!?" look.
"Excellent - lets go." he replied.

He quickly walked through the controls, their purpose, and strapped me
in. The tow-plane pulled up, he attached the cable. He hopped in, closed
teh canopy, and within 5 minutes we were rolling. Just before the plane
lifted up, he said "Today is an exceptionally great day for sail-planes.
Gentle up drafts, reasonable visibility. You're here for a 30minute
flight - correct? Well, this wont be 30minutes. Hope you dont mind" He
chuckled in a way that showed how much he loved flying, and making it
clear that this was probably going to be an hour or more flight. A
minute after roll-out, we were 2000ft up and the tow-plane released the
cable. We were on our own and still CLIMBING - all the way up to 3000
ft! For a while he explained how to fly, how to catch the updrafts, how
to avoid the down-drafts, how to exchange altitude for speed - and then
said "You have the controls. Have fun!" I sucked, as I couldnt really
get the feel for an "up-draft", or even how to bank and level the plane.
He laughed at my attempts, tried to instruct, but, I was just too in
love with the flight to pay attention!

The flight was FANTASTIC. I could tell you about it, but, you probably
wont care. Instead you'd probably have lots of questions, and I'll throw
out some answers to the ones that I was thinking:

1. Didnt it feel scary without an engine? didnt it feel like the plane
would stall and crash?

Not at all! I was really suprised at how stable and smooth the plane
rode. It felt like a bird. I've been in Cessnas and other small planes,
and they always feel like they're struggling to stay up. Not this bird.
Cessna's have a cruising speed of 120-200mph. This sail plane was
gliding along at 120mph!!

2. Did he really let you fly it? Did you nearly crash it??

Yep, he really does let the "joy riders" fly it. Why not? He's got a
complete set of controls in his back-seat, so if you do anything stupid,
he could quickly over-ride. But, the amazing thing is that the sailplane
is designed like a boat - it will "float" on the wind and would require
alot of intentional effort to "sink" it to the ground. As much as I
couldnt bank correctly, or hold a level flight, the plane never-ever
felt precarious. (This is in contrast to Cessna's that always seem to
labor and moan at every touch).

3. Expensive? Training required? Recommended?

Expensive? Yeah. $100 for a 30min ride. Ouch. Now, in my case that was
more like an hour. Still expensive, but, consider that (a) you're flying
someone else's plane, (b) there is a pilot with you, (c) there is
*another* pilot who has to tow you up to altitude. No training
what-so-ever is required. Probably even more fun without any training. I
would recommend it for anyone 10yrs old and up. [My daughter was
dissapointed by not flying, but, I had already booked her a flight on a
WW2 Dive Bomber for her b-day]

4. Did you get air-sick?

45minutes into the flight he was getting bored with my floppy-fish
flying. "Hey, you wanna see what this bird can really do?" he asked like
an eager Surfer. "Sure!", and with that he dropped the nose, "ok, lets
get some airspeed, we're at 150mph now, and lets now go left", and he
sharply banked the glider, really sharp! I looked over my left shoulder
to see the ground at a funny angle. It was spinning in a slow spiral.
"...and now, lets roll to the right", swooosh, swirl, and in a moment
the ground was on my right shoulder. Again, at a funny angle. "Going a
little too fast I think, lets pull up" he said with a sh1t eating laugh,
Ooooooooof I was squished into my seat and the horizon rolled round to
the other side....ooooooof. It was far more intense than any
roller-coaster ride. A few more of these swirls, and I said "um, um, I'm
getting green"

"DONT PUKE IN MY PLANE!" he commanded, throwing two puke-bags up at me.
"Open the air-vent, breathe deep, breathe slowly, hold the puke - we'll
be on the ground in 5 minutes, I'll make the landing hot" And he dropped
the nose, we were diving and banking round to the runway. It *felt* like
emergency maneuvers to me, but, he commanded that plane so finely that
I'm sure it was casual-show-off for him.

When you sit in the glider, your butt is literally 8" from the ground,
and you are almost fully reclined. Coming in for a landing is a really
neat feeling, as your eyes tell you that you're going approx 80mph, and
your butt is lower to the ground than any passenger car. You cant help
but think what a painful experience it would be if your heiny skidded
along the runway. The landing is smooth and quiet. The plane rolls out
to where he wants it, and I hop out. Feet a little wobbly, cheeks a
little green, and a huge sh1t eating grin that nearly eats my face! The
tow-pilot, standing round to close up shop sees my face, "First time
'eh?"

"Not the last!" I said with a huge grin.

So, gentle readers, I really recommend a glider flight if you can do it.
Especially as a "gift" for a loved one. Even if you're afraid of
"flying", this is such a different experience that you wont even feel
that this is in the same "experience range" as a plane.

Questions?

I finally got hooked up on broadband here in my slice of heaven
(otherwise known as "Rathole Rentals")! Previously, I was "borrowing"
wireless bandwidth from an kind, but, anonymous neighbor. Slow as it
was, it wasnt as bad as 'dialup' - oh that would be just TOO painful.

Its a wonderful thing not having to wait for downloads or page-reloads.

Lucky Charms in Turkey

Turkey is a moderate secular country, but, has a strong Islamic culture.
It used to be a strong Christian culture, but, thats another story...
Anyway...

I was there in Ephesus to see the ampitheatre that Paul preached at, see
John's tomb, and see Mary's house. All fun stuff. While walking through
a town a peddler tried to sell me some trinkets. No dice, I wasnt
interested. Thank you anyway.

He persisted, then relented. At last he gave me a small lapel-pin. It
had a strange design - it looked somewhat like a cartoon-eye. "What's
this?" I asked, I had seen that design here-n-there while in Turkey, it
was something cultural.

"It is a sign of good-luck, from the bedouin peoples who lived here
before Turkey became Turkey" he explained. I didnt quite follow, and
surely I am reporting it to you incorrectly. The point was the same.

"Oh, thanks, but, no, I dont accept such things." I politely said,
trying not to offend.

He was pleased! "I am sorry sir, I did not know you were muslim" He said
with a warm grin, and ashamedly put away the trinket.

Now I smiled, "No, I'm not muslim."

Slightly shocked, he asked "...you are ? are you christian??" in a
disbeleiving way.

"You could say that."

"I have never met a christian who respected faith as you." he smiled and
we chatted. Then he went on his way to sell the trinkets to someone
else.

-Mike

Good find AB, that sounds like classical Talmud, toned down somewhat.
The real hardcore Talmud branches out to name Jesus as a bastard child
of Pantera (ever wonder where that band got the name from...?), that he
was a magician, and so-on.

These accounts were written around the time frame as Jesus life history,
and in a sense, confirm that Jesus existed as a real problem.

See http://www.answering-islam.de/Main/Shamoun/talmud_jesus.htm

The quotation you presented also ignored mentioning the dubious "letter
of pilate", and the less-dubious, but nowhere 'cannonical' "Acts of
Pilate", which were once a centerpiece of pre-Nicean christian
scripture.

See http://www.cathar.info/gnosticgospels.htm [good jumping point]

There are even the accounts of Jesus being mentioned in Josephus,
written around 70AD. It has been suggested that the Jesus passages are
the work of a over-zealous pen-man later on.

-Mike

I'll bite.

"Can we stop death?"

Yes. Absolutely. We can even reverse it. There are many accounts of the
dead being raised in the bible - several in the OT, and a handful in the
NT (c'mon you know what I'm talking about: Lazarus, the Centurian's
Daughter - you may say those are "Jesus works", so lets spread out -
Peter and the 70 restored a girl who fell out the window in Acts, and
several other occasions).

So, given enough faith, you can reverse death. Given enough faith, a
serious enough faith, you can even restore yourself (Jesus).

Look at our daily lives. We all hear the occasional "clinically dead
person restored to life". Ok, its possible. Why not?

Preventing Death? Its our human duty. Look at the average lifespan of
ppl - mid 80s! Isnt that 'preventing death' ? We labor to communicate
beyond the grave - (writing letters, books, making films etc) so that we
can speak to generations after us.

Preventing, cheating, dodging death is a sign that we are a spark of the
Divine, and also that we are incapable of being divine in the current
state.

-Mike

AB wrote "What if the constant wanting for that final trumpet to sound
is causing them to 'will' the end times."


Yeah that sorta makes clear the idea that "freewill" is really "Divine
Will". So, I imagine, eventually enough ppl will have the faith to make
the Apocalypse fulfilled. Fortunately, there are ppl like me who think
the Apocalypse was already fulfilled, so, my 'lack of future-faith'
prevents a recurring Apocalypse. <grin>

Thanks EvanLia for posting! So many questions for you...

Are the masses spoken in Greek? Modern greek ?

Is the scripture set the same? Are there different books?

Are there different "traditions" in the Greek Orthodox? For example, in
Roman Catholic there are wonderful stories about Peter & Paul performing
'magic acts' when they were executed. I read about some of the
traditions of Andrew - is that part of the Greek Orthodox?

Are there any traditions/rites that would strike us as "wow, thats
different"

-Thanks,
Mike

I would say the the biblical Jesus was real, was the legitimate Messiah
(and so a Prophet), but was not divine anymore than Moses, you or me.

The "diefication" of Jesus is so convoluted and illogical that I cant
even begin to think it was a serious theology. The idea that the "nature
of God" changed, in some way, to become
two-being-yet-still-one-while-Jesus-walked violates all the principles
of "Thou shalt have no other God".

Further, if Jesus was divine, then how could the divine "die" upon the
cross? Doesnt that violate the principle of what "divine/eternal" means?

If the divine Jesus "descended into hell for 3 days", then doesnt that
violate the entire principle of what "hell" [if such a place exists]
means? How could any aspect of "god" enter into a realm that is the
anti-thesis of 'godliness' ?

...gotta stop... getting too worked up.

I love it when a girl puts out... ha ha ha -