What better place to get high than Southern California? What better
occasion than to be a fool in front of your entire family at the
youngest brother's wedding?

I had been out to visit my brother a year before. He lives in the
"desert" not far from Edwards Air Force base, with their giant salt lake
beds large enough for the Space Shuttle to land on. You get the picture.
Last year I noticed that there was a glider-park, and thought "...next
time I come out here, I'm *GOING* to try that!". Here I am, a year later
driving past the park. In the car with me is my 13yr old daughter, my
mother and father. We're hot, tired of sitting in the car for 3 hours,
and just wanting to get to the Wedding Rehearsal. I turn down the dirt
road leading nowhere - "Where you going Mike??" they all asked. My
father chuckled, he figured it out quickly enough. He was probably
thinking the same thing.

At the end of the dirt road was a trailer, several gliders
("sail-planes" as I was corrected later), and a regular plane towing one
of the gliders down the runway. I went into the trailer to ask about
"joy rides" with a pilot. Sure! But! Today is such a beautiful day that
we're booked straight through the day. Sorry. Maybe tommorow. Like a
hurt puppy, I begged to leave my number should anyone cancel. Back to
the car. Back to the wedding. My daughter was dissapointed - she thought
that SHE was going to fly.

Near sunset later in the day, they called me. "If you're still
interested, come quickly, there's one slot open before we close shop". I
asked my brother if he was OK with my rudely slipping away for an hour.
He didn’t believe me, but was encouraging me all the same. Zoom. I was
there. I walked into the trialer, and a very fit tall older man grabbed
my hand in a shake that could only be understood as "Marine". In a
typical Marine fashion he wasted no time, leading out the door. "Ok, our
standard policy is to spend 15 minutes on the ground for instruction,
but, seeing that we're close to sunset, its not going to happen today.
Grab a wing" he pointed at the gorgeous sailplane sitting before us. I
grabbed the wing - looking stupid. He walked round to the other side,
grabbed the other wing, and we pushed the sail plane onto the runway.
"Hop in" he said. I walked started to climb into the secondary seat.
"Nope. Wrong seat, passengers up front where I can see you." he said
with a laugh. The front seat! SWEEEET!

"Ever fly in a sail-plane?" he asked.
"Nope."
A little dissapointed he said, "so why are you here?"
I looked back with a "...why not?!?" look.
"Excellent - lets go." he replied.

He quickly walked through the controls, their purpose, and strapped me
in. The tow-plane pulled up, he attached the cable. He hopped in, closed
teh canopy, and within 5 minutes we were rolling. Just before the plane
lifted up, he said "Today is an exceptionally great day for sail-planes.
Gentle up drafts, reasonable visibility. You're here for a 30minute
flight - correct? Well, this wont be 30minutes. Hope you dont mind" He
chuckled in a way that showed how much he loved flying, and making it
clear that this was probably going to be an hour or more flight. A
minute after roll-out, we were 2000ft up and the tow-plane released the
cable. We were on our own and still CLIMBING - all the way up to 3000
ft! For a while he explained how to fly, how to catch the updrafts, how
to avoid the down-drafts, how to exchange altitude for speed - and then
said "You have the controls. Have fun!" I sucked, as I couldnt really
get the feel for an "up-draft", or even how to bank and level the plane.
He laughed at my attempts, tried to instruct, but, I was just too in
love with the flight to pay attention!

The flight was FANTASTIC. I could tell you about it, but, you probably
wont care. Instead you'd probably have lots of questions, and I'll throw
out some answers to the ones that I was thinking:

1. Didnt it feel scary without an engine? didnt it feel like the plane
would stall and crash?

Not at all! I was really suprised at how stable and smooth the plane
rode. It felt like a bird. I've been in Cessnas and other small planes,
and they always feel like they're struggling to stay up. Not this bird.
Cessna's have a cruising speed of 120-200mph. This sail plane was
gliding along at 120mph!!

2. Did he really let you fly it? Did you nearly crash it??

Yep, he really does let the "joy riders" fly it. Why not? He's got a
complete set of controls in his back-seat, so if you do anything stupid,
he could quickly over-ride. But, the amazing thing is that the sailplane
is designed like a boat - it will "float" on the wind and would require
alot of intentional effort to "sink" it to the ground. As much as I
couldnt bank correctly, or hold a level flight, the plane never-ever
felt precarious. (This is in contrast to Cessna's that always seem to
labor and moan at every touch).

3. Expensive? Training required? Recommended?

Expensive? Yeah. $100 for a 30min ride. Ouch. Now, in my case that was
more like an hour. Still expensive, but, consider that (a) you're flying
someone else's plane, (b) there is a pilot with you, (c) there is
*another* pilot who has to tow you up to altitude. No training
what-so-ever is required. Probably even more fun without any training. I
would recommend it for anyone 10yrs old and up. [My daughter was
dissapointed by not flying, but, I had already booked her a flight on a
WW2 Dive Bomber for her b-day]

4. Did you get air-sick?

45minutes into the flight he was getting bored with my floppy-fish
flying. "Hey, you wanna see what this bird can really do?" he asked like
an eager Surfer. "Sure!", and with that he dropped the nose, "ok, lets
get some airspeed, we're at 150mph now, and lets now go left", and he
sharply banked the glider, really sharp! I looked over my left shoulder
to see the ground at a funny angle. It was spinning in a slow spiral.
"...and now, lets roll to the right", swooosh, swirl, and in a moment
the ground was on my right shoulder. Again, at a funny angle. "Going a
little too fast I think, lets pull up" he said with a sh1t eating laugh,
Ooooooooof I was squished into my seat and the horizon rolled round to
the other side....ooooooof. It was far more intense than any
roller-coaster ride. A few more of these swirls, and I said "um, um, I'm
getting green"

"DONT PUKE IN MY PLANE!" he commanded, throwing two puke-bags up at me.
"Open the air-vent, breathe deep, breathe slowly, hold the puke - we'll
be on the ground in 5 minutes, I'll make the landing hot" And he dropped
the nose, we were diving and banking round to the runway. It *felt* like
emergency maneuvers to me, but, he commanded that plane so finely that
I'm sure it was casual-show-off for him.

When you sit in the glider, your butt is literally 8" from the ground,
and you are almost fully reclined. Coming in for a landing is a really
neat feeling, as your eyes tell you that you're going approx 80mph, and
your butt is lower to the ground than any passenger car. You cant help
but think what a painful experience it would be if your heiny skidded
along the runway. The landing is smooth and quiet. The plane rolls out
to where he wants it, and I hop out. Feet a little wobbly, cheeks a
little green, and a huge sh1t eating grin that nearly eats my face! The
tow-pilot, standing round to close up shop sees my face, "First time
'eh?"

"Not the last!" I said with a huge grin.

So, gentle readers, I really recommend a glider flight if you can do it.
Especially as a "gift" for a loved one. Even if you're afraid of
"flying", this is such a different experience that you wont even feel
that this is in the same "experience range" as a plane.

Questions?

I thought was a story about drugs... :)

Sounds seriously cool though.

The title was intentionally misleading to be funny.

holy...i'm soooo soooo soooo soooo jealous.

'nuff said.

Way cool!

Yeah for you MikeMontana
I'm really happy for you.
I couldn't do it but glad you got to go.

Dont be jealous - go give it a try! Seriously!

That sounds like it was really fun!!!!

not feasible for me, mike...but i would absolutely love it. i LOVE to
fly...i wanna parachute...

my favorite class in college, just about...we threw bags of flour out of
a plane and tried to target where it would land.