One day, a man was walking along the beach and came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a Genie actually appeared.

"For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," said the Genie.

The man was ecstatic. "But there's a catch," the Genie continued.

"What catch?" asked the man, eyeing the Genie suspiciously.

The Genie replied, "For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive DOUBLE what you asked for."

"Hey, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man.

"What is your first wish?" asked the Genie.

"Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!"

POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man. "Now, every lawyer in the world has been given TWO Ferrari's," said the Genie.

"What is your next wish?"

"I could really use a million dollars..." replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.

"Now, every lawyer in the world is TWO million dollars richer," the Genie reminded the man.

"Well, that's okay, as long as I've got MY million," replied the man.

"And what is your final wish?" asked the Genie.

The man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney...."

A man went to his doctor to find out why he had been having such severe headaches. The doctor ran some tests and after a few hours called the man into his office. "I have terrible news," he told the patient. "Your condition is terminal." "Oh no!" the man wailed. "How long do I have?" "Ten ..." began the doctor. "Ten what?" the patient interrupted. "Days? Months? Years?" "Nine," said the doctor, "eight, seven, six, ..."


DOCTOR: Well, Mr Jones, I can't find anything wrong with you. It must be the drink.
MR JONES: Okay, Doctor, I'll come back in the morning when you're sober.

'Doctor, :doctor, I think I must be invisible. Everyone ignores me.'
'Next, please.'


DOCTOR" The pain in your right leg is caused by old age.
OLD MAN : But my left leg is the same age and that doesn't hurt.

Doctor, Doctor, I keep seeing pink elephants.
Have you seen a psychiatrist?
No - only pink elephants.

Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing into the future.
When did this first happen?
Next Tuesday.

Doctor, doctor, I keep losing my memory.
When did you first notice it?
When did I first notice what?

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a bridge.
Now then, what's come over you?
Two cars and a truck.

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a pack of cards.
Sit down and I'll deal with you later.


Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, and I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN'T I, YOU STUPID IDIOT!

1. According to a recent survey by the Academy of Incomplete Research, nine out of ten people are

2. Chemistry professors never die, they just fail to react.

3. Old musicians never die, they just decompose.

4. Now that I have your ear, Mr. Van Gogh...

5. Mary had potatoes, wine, salad, and a little lamb.

6. I'm so broke, I can't even afford to pay attention.

7. A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, "Let's smash the can open with a rock." The chemist says, "Let's build a fire and heat the can first." The economist says, "Let's assume that we have a can-opener..."

8. 'Hi Bob, Where have you been?'
'The cemetery.'
'Oh! Who's dead?'
'They all are.'

9. He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

10. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

Saddam Hussein and his driver are on their way out of Bagdad, when suddenly they hit a pig crossing the road. The pig dies immediately, and Saddam Hussein tells his driver: “hey, go to the farm and tell the pig’s owner what happened”

An hour passes when the driver returns from the farm. His clothes are all messed up, with a bottle of wine in one hand and a cigar in the other.

“What happened” Saddam asks.

“Well, you see” the driver replies “The owner gave me a good bottle of wine, a lovely cigar and an hour sex with his wife, and his 19year old daughter wouldn’t stop kissing me “By Allah! What did you tell them?” Saddam asked.

“I said: Good afternoon, I’m Saddam Hussein’s driver, and I just killed the pig”

A little boy is about to have a brother. One day the little boy walks into the bedroom, where his mother stands naked. He looks at her and ask very curious what kind of hair it is she has between her legs. The mother answers that its her flannel.
A few week later, after birth, the little boy see her naked again. When she was in the hospital the doctor shaved her which had the boy ask:
“What happened to your flannel?”

“I've lost it” The mother replied.
The little boy, who was eager to help his mother, starts looking for the flannel.

A few days passes, and the boy, yelling and screaming, burst out to his mother:
“I found your flannel, I found your flannel” The mother who suspects the boy of playing, plays along “Oh, where did you find it?”

“The nanny has it. She’s washing daddy’s face with it right now”

It looks like you've already made your choice. And if you're looking for blessing, I think you'll meet resistent in here bro. I think you will have to consult somebody who actually thinks it's alright to cheat. That's gonna be hard, unless you talk to a russian (just hear-say that russian guys cheat constantly)

Well, you can still meet her, just keep it in your pants man.. Hehe

I don't think cheating is OK, unless there has been made an agreement that it is OK. If my girl cheats on me, I end the relationship.

I've known many stoners in my life, and they could still have fun without it, and still go to work and do their daily activities with no problems. Only thing is, they didn't wanna be without it. Of course there are the people who get so messed up that they loose touch of reality, but thats usually the weaker minds who cannot handle it. And of course they shouldn't indulge in it. I can also agree that young people have higher risk of showing change in personality. And that their minds are still developing and should restrain from smoking, but also not be drinking. Sure I can agree on those facts. But I can never, never! say that Marijuana is a drug. Drugs kill you, Marijuana doesn't kill you.

If you can't quit weed, that's a self esteem problem! Like SamaraNJ said, it's mentally addictive. And if you're mentally weak, that has something to do with your self esteem. Now if we talk 'drugs', such as coke, heroin etc, yes! Then you need pro help. I don't think you have any idea what marijuana does to you, other than what you hear from the news etc. Or perhaps you've smoked it once or twice and felt bad, and thats why you see it as a drug. But you've never heard of anybody dying from smoking pot. I'm not saying marijuana can't cause you problems, sure it can. But so can coca cola and MacDonalds if you consume too high amounts of them.

You gotta be kiddin' me!?! Marijuana ain't addictive to that level, it's all in the mind. And if people decide to go to rehab for weed, then they got huge issues with their selfesteem. I smoked for a long, long time, and I quit, haven't smoked for 3years now. And that was from one day to the other.

Then you're not working hard enough to get the attention from women. But if you do, then I promise you'll find a bit of peace within. Just don't think about getting a number, just have fun meeting new people. It helps. trust bro, trust...

Marijuana ain't a drug dammit. I hate people who say it is! It's a plant, and if you so happens to set it on fire and it add some effects.

If I get a bit sad around this time of year, I go find a few phone numbers and set up some dates. It seems to help a lot.

haha.. Well. They only infect you with talent. Not so bad eh..

Anyone in here who likes Infected?!

It's the only techno I listen to.

ANYBODY!?!

So we take it from *M* (Massive Attack)

Marilyn Manson - Tainted Love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-0MXklxHlQ

Snap! Sweet! Mine will just revolve on using skills in public. Hah

Damn, I didn't even know that. Thank you Winx. I think she knew, but I didn't..

David Banner Akon Snoop Dogg Lil Wayne - 9mm (Dirty)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjSUTW7ZOEQ