Holy sh!t! Don't ever ask jimmy59 a relationship advice question again. Or I swear I'll fart.

1) Anyone who doesn't have a picture up. i demand to know how ugly you are before i can make the decision to shun you as beneath me or not.
i)You must have a close up of your face so that i may inspect you for any hint of a blemish which will disqualify you from my contention.
ii) You must have a few body pics as well because i wish to rank you men according to degree of buffness and, accordingly, your degrees of worthiness for me to talk to you.

2)Any man who posts pictures with multiple people in it. This is indicative of having a life and friends. Very unattractive.

3) You must go through your profile with a fine-toothed comb and put in every single comma, every single apostrophe and every single full-stop. Perfect grammar is expected as well. You must prove to me that you are intellectually worthy of me talking to you. ( yes, missing spaces after punctuation marks is also indicative of a below par intelligence level)

4) Any semblance of a personality is unattractive. (this includes any pics that do not have you in it, pics that have only a body part of yours in it, cartoon characters, tattoos etc.

5) Finally, you must make the effort to convey in your profile that you wish to, in every way, please me because I am extremely high strung demand nothing less that you discard any hint of self respect and individuality you may think you have and devote your life to my worship and the satisfaction of my every whim.

Thank you.