yep

The guy I've been seeing asked me for a three-way and told me he already had someone. Turns out he hooked up with a girl acquaintance of mine somewhere in the mix of days and THEY want a threesome.

At first it saddened me that he went for her (she happens to already have a boyfriend) and that she, knowing I was seeing him, decided to do so herself. I felt disrespected and deserving of more regard, but it's all about ME anyhow. The two of them are concocting ways to create this scenario.

Anyway, the guy hung his head to me and admitted he was wrong but asked if I was still interested. Now, I've had some amazing moments with him, so its a question that left me to think about what I wanted from hence forward with him.

After being SAD and feeling BETRAYED, I then became TURNED ON and went straight to his house (after an after-work date with another guy) and did all sorts of things with him every which way.

I want him more than ever now. Im like a cat crawling the walls, and if she shows I'm ready to watch and hurt and want him even more.

On the other hand, the little part of me who tries to take care and work to overcome some of my ISSUES says to end it now. I really don't want to feel hurt???

Keep telling myself...

perhaps you need a 'top 3' qualities or something like that, maybe 10.. there's gotta be some girl you enjoy!

stress and not controlling what goes in my mouth

The title shouldve been married man/single friends.

I will not be having affair with married man.

well, yes it is! however i refute drama

It is my rationale

7 lbs.

I am sick. Having a meltdown. Don't know if I'll make it through the week, I give myself a week.

Hope my new religions still fit.

I know. This is how this s*** starts.

I went to a restaurant/bar opening where a friend was bartending. Sitting at the bar were several men each who bought me drinks. At least one of them was married, but he left at dinnertime to go home.

A younger fellow stepped in from the porch seating area and asked me to join his table where he and another friend were gnashing. Of course I will!! I am free and single and there for fun and promoting that sorta atmosphere.

This guy is married it happens to be and his friend is single, but of course the married one is buying my dinner and picking up my tab and he's nice and engaging and talkative with me...

and the conversation flowed and we never stopped smiling and he never stopped being interested in what I said, the bits and pieces of information about myself I was willing to share on first meeting. He wanted more and I laughed. He smiled. Single friend chimed in when he could but there was no mistaking the flow of energy and connection married guy and I are having.

Bartender friend gave married guy my phone number (I'm assuming when he closed his tab). He gave me his card. I never called. He called.

I'm thinking of meeting him. My rationale is that he has single friends.

I am not offended. Your response split me open and forced me to confront the demon.

Well, I can be a little self-destructive but I'm working on that and I will tell you it's taking a stern effort.

Unfortunately, hating consumes a lot of energy! I'm trying not to hate. you know, bring a little light into the situation.

It really is exhausting, draining. I'm working on it.

SO MANY rolling eyes. WHAT is the problem???

Thank you seamac.

That starting point and what ensues may take the rest of our lives.

The relationships are reactionary. Probably, normally talking would be the right thing. I have to pretend and keep quiet.

WOW. It really is always something!

The man with the pad has grown quiet over the years... some things in a life cannot be changed I suppose.

daytime, I like your screenname. this may be part of a destructive pattern, but you can't really get rid of your parents and they are family. I should value something about that. (?)

I should not be so concerned with their feelings and reaction, rather my own well-being??