Thanks bird and digger..can only imagine the look they get from pretzel curlers!! As if.

Thanks Sexy, it tickled me too!

REDNECK HUNTERS

Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.


The first hunter says " Wow, that's some hole, I can't even see the bottom, I wonder how deep it is?"

The second hunter says" I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."

The first hunter says " There's this old transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see".

So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole. They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them. As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole with no hesitation, and jump in headfirst.


While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole, and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up. "Say there", says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"


The first hunter says " Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!"


And the old farmer said " Why that's impossible, I had him chained to a transmission

While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened
to pass by the beer, wine
and liquor section. One asked the other if she
would like a beer.The second
nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to
have one, but that she
would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it.The
first nun replied that she
would handle that without a problem. She picked up
the six-pack and took it to
the cashier.The cashier had a surprised look so the
nun said, "This is for
washing our hair."Without blinking an eye, the
cashier reached under the counter
and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with
the beer. "The curlers
are on me."

Skinny little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this
HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy
staring at him looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch
private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown." The little guy faints and
falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking
him. The big guy says: "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"
The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give
you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me..... I'm 7
feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles
weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown. " The small guy says:
"Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn around"

TWO LITTLE OLD LADIES
Two little old ladies had been very long-time close friends. But being old-fashioned, each went to a retirement home of her own respective religion.

It was not long before Mrs. Murphy felt very lonesome for Mrs. Cohen, so one day she asked to be driven to the Jewish Home to visit her old friend.

When she arrived she was greeted with open arms, hugs, and kisses. Mrs. Murphy said "Don't be holdin' back, Mrs. Cohen, how do you like it here?"

Mrs. Cohen went on and on about the wonderful food, the facility and the care takers. Then, with a twinkle in her eye, she said, "But the best thing is that I now have a boyfriend."

Mrs. Murphy said, "Now isn't that wonderful! Tell me all about it."

Mrs. Cohen said, "After lunch we go up to my room and sit on the edge of the bed. I let him touch me on the top, and then on the bottom, and then we sing Jewish songs."

Mrs. Murphy said, "For sure it's a blessing. I'm so glad for you Mrs. Cohen."
Mrs. Cohen said, "And how is it with you, Mrs. Murphy?"

Mrs. Murphy said it was also wonderful at her new facility, and that she also had a boyfriend.

Mrs. Cohen said, "Good for you! So what do you do?"

"We also go up to my room after lunch and sit on the edge of the bed. I let him touch me on top, and then I let him touch me down below."

Mrs. Cohen said, "Yes? And then....?"

Mrs. Murphy said, "Well, since we don't know any Jewish songs, we screw...

LMAO!!! and I thought my accent was twangy...

I will hit it right now..do you need hits everyday or just a counting of hits cos I get really bored at work lol!!!

Once again...ITYS!!!

LOL you know what I am going to say...ITYS!!!!

Ahhh the memories..this took me back. I miss my childhood seems like yesterday..when did I grow up or have I?

Without the pain..there is no love. Besides you will always wonder"if"..

Me too!!!!!!!tick tock tick tock like waiting for a pot to boil...

Whew!!! Is it hot in here or is it just me? Oh Rob!!!! where are you honey...come here!! They really need a smiley with a fan..wow!

Wow...made my heart race..cool write Ali!

Very nice KC, don't change a thing.

I'll get the blanket from the bedroom and we'll go walkin hand in hand to that spot down by the river..where our sweet love first began.

All of me,heart,mind,voice,body and soul. Did I leave anything out? If so..you get that too.

He gives me more credit than I deserve ..y'all have seen my comments lol they are horrible..he takes my thoughts that I write down and I tell him to do that voodoo that he does so well and this is the end result..absolutely perfect!!! Proud as a Peacock!!