What browser and operating system are you guys using?

Hi folks,

I just wanted to announce some very very minor tweaks that we've made to the moderation, and also our thoughts on the system so far.

First, the tweaks - we've seen a lot of topics that have been appropriately deleted, but for the wrong reason. For example, some deleted topics were duplicate topics, but had "Attacking/Insulting other users" as the reason for deletion.

We think this is because the default reason was "Attacking/Insulting other users" when nominating a topic for deletion. Lots of users, it seems, were just pushing the delete button without understanding that they had to choose the appropriate reason for deletion.

Given that, we've changed the controls so that you MUST choose a reason before nominating a topic for deletion. Hopefully, this will help ensure that the correct reason is provided.

The second tweak is that we've changed a few of the reasons that you can delete a topic for. Here's a quick rundown of the changes:

- We split "Drama/Pity-seeking" into two separate reasons: "Drama/Gossip about other members" and "Pity-seeking/Attention-seeking" because the two were not really related to one another and we wanted to make sure they were both clear.

- Added two new reasons, "Derogatory/offensive topic" and "Explicit/sexual/vulgar topic" to match the forum rules we've added

- Changed "Redundant/duplicate topic" to "Topic posted multiple times/Duplicate". Basically, some topics were being deleted because a similar topic had already been posted by someone else. Since we don't have a search function yet on the forums, we didn't feel it was appropriate to punish users for posting a redundant topic. However, we DO want to prevent people from posting the same topic multiple times - hence the slight wording change on this reason.


I also wanted to briefly talk about how the system is going so far. First, I wanted to clear up some misconceptions - some folks seem to believe that a LOT of topics have been getting deleted, and that some of those deletions have been malicious or abusive.

In total, less than 3% of topics have been deleted since the system was put in place. Of that, 2% was (correctly) for reasons like a duplicate posting or wrong forum. So less than 1% of topics are being deleted for reasons that are content related, i.e. attacking other users, drama, etc. We have been reviewing all deletions, and while there are a few we did not agree with, for the most part it seems like the right topics are being deleted and the right ones are not being deleted as well. We will continue to monitor the system to make sure this trend continues.

Regarding abuse, to date, we haven't seen any evidence at all of abuse of the system such as trying to suppress a specific user's post. I think most of the suspicious have come from incorrect reasons. For example, a topic in the "New members" forum simply introducing themselves was deleted for "Attacking other users" which caused some members to think the system was being abused. However, that topic SHOULD have been deleted because it was a duplicate topic - the user had accidentally posted it twice - but the wrong reason for deletion was chosen. That might have led some people to believe that that user was being attacked, when instead, it was just a misunderstanding. Hopefully this will get fixed with the changes I mentioned above.

If, however, you do know of specific instances where you think abuse has taken place, please do not hesitate to let us know via the Report Abuse button or email. We realize that just because we haven't seen it doesn't mean it hasn't happened, but we want you to know that we have not been able to find any evidence of abuse so far.

Finally some folks seem to have been getting upset if a topic receives any deletion votes at all. For example, I've seen several posts where the user will exclaim "the system isn't working because topic X got nominated for deletion!". However, once the voting was complete, the topic was voted to be saved, which to us means the system IS working. It's designed to handle circumstances where people incorrectly vote.

So, please don't get upset if someone nominates a topic for deletion that you feel should stay. Instead, just vote to keep it! Your participation is critical to making sure that the system works, so please help us out by taking part.


Most importantly, we want you to know that we've been reading all of the topics about the moderation system and appreciate your feedback. We love to hear what you guys think, good or bad, so don't be afraid to tell us. I can't promise that we'll always take the action that you want, but I can promise that we'll always listen.

And the system is not set in stone. If it's not working, we'll change it. We definitely have additional modifications we're considering, or we may even replace it outright. But if we do modify/replace it, we want to make sure it's for the right reasons which is why we're continuing to evaluate it so closely.

Thanks everyone for listening, and please let us know if you have any questions/concerns. Hope you are all continuing to enjoy the site!

Thanks again,
Mike & Vanchau

Hi folks,

I just wanted to call everyone's attention to some forum rule refinements we've recently made. Specifically, we've added the following rules:


3) No explicit, sexual, offensive, insulting or vulgar language. The JustSayHi forums are rated PG-13. The only exception is the Sex and Dating forum which is rated R, NOT X.

4) No derogatory or offensive references to sex, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.

5) Pity-seeking or attention-seeking topics which serve only to draw attention to yourself are not permitted on the forums. The forums are provided for the enjoyment of all members. They are not about you. The only exception to this rule is the New Members Welcome Area where posters are permitted to introduce themselves to the community.


3 and 4 should hopefully be self-explanatory. In reality, we've always had these rules in place but we just wanted to make sure they were specifically stated in the rules.

5 is a new rule that we felt needed to be added. We feel that topics that call attention only to yourself do not add any value to the community, i.e. "Am I pretty? Would you date me? What's wrong with me? What's great about me?" To talk about yourself, please use instant messenger or email, not the forums. The only exception to this rule is the New Members forum where you are obviously free to introduce yourself.

Thanks for your cooperation and we hope you are enjoying the site!

Vanchau & Mike

Hmm...sorry not sure what to tell you. It's hard for me to debug because I can't reproduce it myself. It sounds like some kind of flash issue but I'm not clear as to what could be the cause. I don't think it has anything to do with Java.

Can you try upgrading your version of flash to see if that helps?

http://www.adobe.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash&P2_Platform=MacOSX

I actually work on a mac and it works fine for me. The uploader is actually flash so it's not internet explorer specific. Do you know what version of flash you have installed?

OK, we just made a slight change - is it working now? It may not be any different than it was before for you. If so, that's ok as long as its working for you.

Weird - you don't see an "Upload Photo" button on the right under the Photo Guidelines?

What happens when you try uk1971? And what browser and operating system are you using?

Hi folks -

We just put in a new progress indicator when you upload a photo. Hopefully this will help folks with a slower connection or big photo files. If anyone has any problems with this feature, please let us know ASAP so that we can iron out any bugs.

Thanks!

Can you try hitting refresh/reload on that page and trying again? If that doesn't work, let me know what operating system and browser you are using and we'll try to get you fixed up ASAP.

Folks - this type of communication should be reserved for mail. The forums are not the proper venue for more personal conversations.

Thanks for your cooperation.

A very common problem on dating sites is that there are bad people who like to come to dating sites and try to convince innocent people to give them money. They often will tell you that they are from africa or Russia and would like to come visit you but can't afford a plane ticket, etc.

This is, unfortunately, a problem that exists on every dating site but different sites are better/worse at keeping those bad folks out. We put a lot of effort into getting rid of scammers like these before they can even message any users. Every once in a while, though, one is able to get out a few messages before we catch them :( But once we do catch them, we ban them and delete all their mail.

Your other idea is a good suggestion, we'll definitely take it into consideration.

Hope this helps.

The main reason why you would get a mail notification but not have mail when you get to the site is because the mail was sent to you by a scammer who we have since deleted from the site.

When we detect a scammer, we delete all of the messages that they sent so that no one is lured into their trap.

Regarding who's viewed me, we are only showing the people who have viewed you within the last 30 days. So every day, some of the people who viewed you are deleted off your list, while others are added as they view you. That's why the number changes daily.

Hope that helps.

ezguy - can you send me a message and tell me which message you are trying to reply to? We'll take a look and see if we can figure out what's happening.

Anyone else having this problem?

Sorry fine, not sure what to tell you. It works fine for me. I very very highly doubt that it's anything on our site that's causing your computer to crash. Have you tried just rebooting? Kicking it sometimes works for me, lol.

Which thread?

And fingerpaintbynumber, it's absolutely appropriate that if people are feeling attacked, they SHOULD report abuse to us. If they don't and instead attack someone back, they'll be suspended or banned.

We are all adults here, but even adults can get out of hand sometimes. We have an environment we are trying to maintain, and we have put rules in place for that reason. Anyone who can't abide by them will be banned in the long run.

That having been said, we ban people as a last resort. We prefer to educate users first. But if they can't follow the rules, they will be banned - there are many users who've found that out the hard way.

Look folks -

The whole point of my warning is that you are NOT to attack other members. So don't call anyone "cold", don't say someone should be "banned", etc. They have a legitimate opinion and expressed it. And you are free to do the same, as long as it is in a respectful manner. Most of you have absolutely no context as to what was actually said or whether it was said sarcastically, etc.

If you want to argue with their position, that's absolutely fine. You can say "what if they were serious", "why take the chance that they are not joking", etc. etc. But you can't say "you're a cold hearted *****"

And finally, you may accuse me of being cold, but in the future, we're going to delete threads like the one last night as soon as they appear. This is a dating site, first and foremost. We delete all threads that cause drama on the forums. And a suicide note certainly qualifies.

Thanks,
Mike

It's definitely not a sexual site. But we need everyone's help to keep it that way. We just can't review every single picture that gets posted on the site. So if you see a bad one, please use the report abuse button so it gets flagged for us and we can take the appropriate action.