Hi folks,

I just wanted to call everyone's attention to some forum rule refinements we've recently made. Specifically, we've added the following rules:


3) No explicit, sexual, offensive, insulting or vulgar language. The JustSayHi forums are rated PG-13. The only exception is the Sex and Dating forum which is rated R, NOT X.

4) No derogatory or offensive references to sex, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.

5) Pity-seeking or attention-seeking topics which serve only to draw attention to yourself are not permitted on the forums. The forums are provided for the enjoyment of all members. They are not about you. The only exception to this rule is the New Members Welcome Area where posters are permitted to introduce themselves to the community.


3 and 4 should hopefully be self-explanatory. In reality, we've always had these rules in place but we just wanted to make sure they were specifically stated in the rules.

5 is a new rule that we felt needed to be added. We feel that topics that call attention only to yourself do not add any value to the community, i.e. "Am I pretty? Would you date me? What's wrong with me? What's great about me?" To talk about yourself, please use instant messenger or email, not the forums. The only exception to this rule is the New Members forum where you are obviously free to introduce yourself.

Thanks for your cooperation and we hope you are enjoying the site!

Vanchau & Mike

Thank you Mike...I have observes ome people on here being abusive by calling them "ugly" or whatever...so thank you....

Alrighty Mike...I'll follow it because everyone named Mike is a genius.

5) Pity-seeking or attention-seeking topics which serve only to draw attention to yourself are not permitted on the forums. The forums are provided for the enjoyment of all members. They are not about you. The only exception to this rule is the New Members Welcome Area where posters are permitted to introduce themselves to the community

okay let me make sure i am clear on this we can not talk about ourselves on a dating site forum. only in email and im alrighty then. wont talk about myself in forums just everyone else

We can still post requests for prayers for people who are sick and need help through hard times can't we?? I wouldn't consider that pity-seeking.

hmm,,well ..cant ask for prayers for your self ......so e-mail afriend and ..oh brother ,,this is getting TOoooooooooooooooooooo complicated..well better be safe and just keep my mouth shut........oops me I AAAAAAAAAAAAAA oh my oh..talkin bout me ,,oh I'm so confused......oh well I give up ..

LOL, you guys are too much!

I think Mike means within a certain scope. For example, I have seen threads that are a little too specific...the equivalent to fishing for compliments.

I don't think they mean situations where you are seeking advice or opinions on a certain topic that may currently be specific to you.

Okay Van and Mike.
I am having some serious issues of thoughts with where this site is going with all the rules and regulations. First it was obscenities, language and attacks. Now it is once again with language and the definitions or let's say the fine print of our conversations now have me puzzled and worried. You said "vulgar" language can't be used in general or relationships. I can't speak the way that I speak in everyday life because I am a little vulgar. If vulgar consists of saying a few cuss words like D_mn and Sh_t, to say a few. Now this is a dating site and the whole purpose behind any dating site or friends site such as I believe Justsayhi is.

Are we to become altered people in order to talk to other people, in other words if I read what someone posts and I think that they are the nicest person that I have ever seen talk and then I contact them and talk with them by telephone and they become a completely different person is that right for the site to make people that way?

One of the main reasons that I came to this site and have stayed on this site is because of believing in people and believing in the realism of our conversations on posts and in e-mails. One of my attractions and the true way of defining how people are is by reading them and defining their personalities by the way that they speak on posts, what they believe in, what they don't believe in on posts.

If somebody is anti-gay, I would like to know that. If somebody believes in homosexuality, I would like to know that or let me put it to you this way Van and Mike, I don't want people to have to hide how they feel when talking on posts because that isn't real and if someone cusses it is nice to know that that is either them and they cuss or it is them and they don't cuss in everyday life. It sounds here that you are wanting everybody to talk politically correct but to get a large group of people to talk politically correct is to get a lot of people to hide who and what they really are. So you are making people become false because of the rules in the forums.

Everybody knows me who has been here and they know that I cuss from time to time because of my postings. They also know that I am a heterosexual because of my postings but if I was different you are now saying that someone who might be bi- can't really talk about it on post for fear of the post being derogatory of the rules and that really alarms me.

Now, for self pity, wow, if I learned I had cancer and was given 12 months to live I could not do a post on this for fear of rejection of it being cut and if somebody lost a child to drugs I could on forever with these tidbits of real life but am I to believe that these types of posts can't be posted because of being deemed self-pity posts. And I know what you are trying to get rid of and that is the drama kings and queens but I don't think that self-pity would be a proper title as it does interface with issues that truly need to be spoken at times so maybe something along the line of no false or personal relationship issues on post pertaining to oneself but to live life is to many times be in real self pity and that has been a lot of helping and understanding and being on Justsayhi. I smoke and I would like to stop but to say no self pity I couldn't even do a post on it without a member saying that is self pity. I have always loved Justsayhi because of being able to see people's words and phrases in the manner that they speak every day. This is an adult site. People do cuss in real life. I would much rather see them cuss and be who they are here now than to hide this until I might meet them face to face. That could cause me to waste a lot of time in my life thinking that they were somebody that they are not because of the rules of this site to make them (ACT)and (TALK) with false tongues. This is just my feelings but I am seriously wondering if feelings also aren't going to be taken from the forums. Thanks for reading this.

finally some sense
thanx mike

I myself could not have said it better than Iam4u,I too am thinking of leaving.As always Iam4u you spoke with true honesty,and I agree with you totally.

terry hit the nail on the head with the way alot of us are feeling this is an adult site after all.and as adults we conduct ourselves differently than we do when around children.we relax and get comfortable with how we are with no kids around its like a movie rating system if your not into horror movies dont go watch horror movies in essance you saying we are only aloud to make a certain kind of movie and that sux because different people like watvhing diff movies . when you take peoples unique qualities away and make everyone conform to a uniform structure you lose the things that make people interesting wich is of coarse their differences.thats what makes all of who we are .having those differences is what makes us who we are. if everyones the same how do you figure out whos right for you or who you want as a freind or potential date,having such distinct and uniform staus quo will end up causeing alot of heartache and drame that couldve been avoided before people waste time effort and money,

Terry, you're right on target. Banning pity parties is a bit much. What better way for someone who's feeling bad about him/her self to get a little validation. We're not shrinks. Who knows what going on in a person's mind? If someone is playing a joke--so what? No harm's done. What if someone is really depressed over the way he/she looks? What harm is it to tell them something nice. If it's aggravating, move to another topic. I've thrown a few pity parties since I've been here. I may throw another later on tonight. Am I beautiful? Hot? Sue me.

I'm still a little confused about the rules...What about the voting to delete a topic??? Isn't that what was put into place to eliminate posts that most agreed were offensive.. Very democratic......As far as insulting other people, Is this happening that often? Maybe I missed it or maybe I hang out with only a small group of people and we don't take offense to each other because it is all done in fun.

I'm unclear on the "pity me posts"....... there are plenty of places to have conversations in here. If someone posts a topic you don't like then move to another topic....If no one listened to the pity party stuff, then no one would post that kind of stuff. Obviosly people reply, somtimes for pages and pages...What does that say???

I'm not trying to go far left or right of the subject....I really truley do not understand...And if someone calls me "stupid" for not understanding I won't take offense.....(Maybe its true)....Please elaborate more on these problems. Maybe put it in simpler terms........I Want To Understand!

iam4u has hit a pretty good note

and with the moderation system in place these issues should
be taking care of themselves

and to be honest if someone is a self-centered attention
hungry person i would like to know it ahead of time

reality can be harsh reality can be mean and so can people

it is a sad thing that these facts do exist

but the fact is they do

and if i am looking to meet someone iwould like to have as good of an idea of what they are REALLY like (at least as much as is internetly possible)

i do enjoy YOUR site and i understand it is your site

but nearly every time someone posts an im leaving thread
it is related to

this place aint the same

those people are mean

you people are stupid

or something close to that

well this is a real time real life place

in real time and real life there are mean stupid people
and is your hometown the same as it was when you grew up

and not only are the places changing

the individuals themselves are changes thus looking at things
a little differently

so between their insight changing and the surroundings changing
of course things will be different they always will be

I have to agree with the intent of these rules. They are like the moderating thing, lots of complaints at first, but they are working just fine. Go with the flow a bit here folks. I can still tell people when I feel low, without the begging for pity thing. I can express my distaste for anything I care to WITHOUT being vulgar & offensive. I can do all of this without loose of my character. Your right, we are adults; Mike & Van are just asking us to act as adults. There are always a few rotten apples in a barrel, they ruin the other apples. There are some people on here that play nice people against eachother, spreading lies & deciet. These are the people that have brought these new rules upon us. People who have to push the limits, as ADULTS we have to stop them at some point. Mike & Van reached their limit. Blame the rude rule breakers, not the innocent. You all know who/what I mean, I've seen it & so have you.

A last comment, there are some players on here that should be ashamed of themselves. They do nothing but cause problems, just because you can't make your life happy, why cause misery to others. I thing players are rude, selfish people & I PITY YOU greatly.

Just my opinions.

Well, nough said. I like to old ways a lot better. The jello head days. I don't post as much as I did because it seems all the FUN is gone?? PG-13 ??? WTH ???? I thought adult hood started at 18? O'well, I'll just keep reading and post when I feel the urge.

BTW, how is the moderation system working out for you guys??

iam said enough that I think I'll shut up for now!!

Hi folks,

So with regard to no explicit, sexual, offensive or vulgar language, we're not flexible. There are a ton of users who want to turn JSH into a sex site, and we're not going to allow that. The site's PG-13, and if that's not what you're looking for, there are plenty of other places on the internet where you can find that.

And we're not going to tolerate intolerance, so rule #4 is also here for good: no bigotry towards race, sexual orientation, religion, etc. That doesn't mean that you can't state that you are bi or gay by any means. Of course you can talk about those things! But not in a way where it's meant to offend or hurt another race, religion, etc.

Now one thing to remember is that in your private messages or IM's to one another, you're free to discuss anything you'd like. If you want to talk dirty to one another in mail, go for it! As long as you're not harassing the other user, we don't care. But on the forums, there are a lot more restrictions.

Regarding the pity-seeking and attention-seeking threads, though, we're flexible. I'd really like to know more about what people think about this. Personally, I think they are kind of lame, but we're definitely open to changing this rule if people feel strongly about it. So please let us know what you think - we're listening!

Thanks,
Mike

thx mike

your involvement speaks a lot for this site

as for elicit sex talk not a good place for it

but joking in a vague since i hope is ok

after all tho it is an adult site you do not have to be a member to read the threads

and we all know there are kids checking this place out