1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back
to me!"

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

7. My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father."

10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And last but not least...

12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like
you....Then you'll see what it's like."

A service station that offered discounted gas to senior citizens and
people supporting youth sports has been ordered by the state to raise
its prices.

Center City BP owner Raj Bhandari has been offering senior citizens a 2
cent per gallon price break and discount cards that let sports boosters
pay 3 cents less per gallon.

But the state Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection
says those deals violate Wisconsin's Unfair Sales Act, which requires
stations to sell gas for about 9.2 percent more than the wholesale
price.

Bhandari said he received a letter from the state auditor last month
saying the state would sue him if he did not raise his prices. The state
could penalize him for each discounted gallon he sold, with the fine
determined by a judge.

Bhandari, who bought the station a year ago, said he worries customers
will think he stopped the discounts because he wants to make more money.
About 10 percent of his customers had used the discount cards.

Dale Van Camp said he bought a $50 card to support the local youth
hockey program. It would have saved him about $100 per year on gas, he
said.

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dogs and was in
line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting
The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended
up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it
I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it
works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and
was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car
hit me

Lou Dobbs Tonight
Tuesday May 8, 2007

Tonight, 6 men charged with planning to attack U.S. soldiers at
Fort Dix in New Jersey. Three of the terrorist suspects were in
this country illegally....

Red,I believe in evolution...a process of gradual growth and
change...set in motion by Almighty God.

Love
Peace
Joy

Oh, the answer to your question, Spider is.....LOVE.


Peace Love Joy

Abra, will you please ask your god to quit killing us with all these
tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes, etc. I mean, what kind of
uncoditional love is he demonstrateing?

Sorry, coulding resist.

'For God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son that
whosoever beliveth on Him should not perish but have everlasting life'
John 3:16

Yahweh, the Creator of all things, had no problem with the flood...which
you seem to, so desparately, be trying to prove could not have happened.

Many things have happened, and many things are still happening that
science can not explain.

Why does God do things the way He does? Why does He allow bad things to
happen? Why did not God, in the beginning just speak, and and make
everything perfect, as it will be when His plan is finished? .. I don't
know...maybe He just wanted the ride.

'Surely your turning of things upside down shall be esteemed as the
potters' clay; for shall the work say of him that made it, He made me
not? Or shall the thing framed say of him that framed it, He had no
understanding?' Isaiah 29;16

'For God so loved the world that he gave his only Begotten Son that
whosoever believe in Him should not perish but have everlasting life',
John 3:16

Peace, Love, Joy

Dang, even Barney Fife knew to turn his keys in when he retired!

ANAMOSA, Iowa (UPI) -- Iowa is spending $6,000 to change the locks at
one of its state prisons after a set of keys belonging to a long-retired
guard turned up on e-Bay.

Jerry Burden, warden of the Anamosa State Penitentiary, told KCCI-TV in
Des Moines, that he does not know if any of the keys actually open any
of the locks in the 135-year-old prison -- but he is not sure they
don't. The prison houses a number of violent criminals.

"It certainly is technologically behind the times, but many of the old
technologies still work remarkably well," Burt said.

The keys belonged to a guard who retired in the 1970s. After his death,
someone put them up for sale on the auction Web site, advertising them
as keys that once opened doors at the prison.

This week, someone paid $12 for them

Found the following in my email this morning, don't know if it's
relevant or not....just someone stating their feelings.

A funny parallel...
I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with
seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the
continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds
started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and
next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs,
the table...everywhere. Then some of the birds turned mean: They would
dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own
pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud: They sat on the
feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and
demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. I took
down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned
up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the
patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...quite, serene and
no one demanding their rights to a free meal.
Now let's see . . . our government gives out free food, subsidized
housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here
to be a automatic citizen.
Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes
went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5
families: you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room
doctor: your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because
over half the class doesn't speak English.
Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one" to hear
my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than "Old
Glory" are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights
and free liberties. Maybe it's time for the government to take down the
bird feeder

I will continue to vote for the lesser of the two evils (usually the
conservative, imo.) I, long ago, reached the point where the political
retoric means anything to me.

How long has it been since you even heard the word... 'statesman'?

Here it is May 5th

Gryphyn, I agree with you.

Hi Singlenfree, welcome to JSH.

If the big three auto makers, GM, Ford and Chyrsler, had started
importing vehicles and closed their plants in the USA several years
ago....kinda like the oil industry has done... do you think the auto
makers would be banking record profits like the oil companies?

Don't know why I ask....this just popped in my mind.

A woman was helping her husband set up his Computer, and at the
appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to
enter a password, something he will use to log on. The husband was in a
rather amorous mood, and figured he would try for the shock effect to
bring this to his wife's attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it
plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in

P E N I S


His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:


PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH .

1 Corinthians chapter 13

The Love chapter....

One of my favorities...

Abra wrote
Thu 05/03/07 12:44 PM
"Ole Jeb wrote:
“Dr. King was a Baptist minister, he preached the Gospel of Jesus. He
called Jesus his Lord and Savior.

The theme of the Holy Bible is Love...

Below is an excerpt from one of Dr. Kings' sermons.”

Yes, I know who Dr. King was.

His words are eloquent and truthful. And his message was love.

However, please note also that he was preaching this to a nation of
Christians who were full of bigotry and hate.

Hmmm?

Someone’s not getting a message. I wonder who that might be?"
______________________________________________________________

It is very possible that I'm not getting a message. My thinking is that
you may not be getting THE message.

Peace, Love, Joy