thanks lulu. this is what I have been trying to get across. Every relationship is different. This is not for everyone but people can love and cherish each other and still like to do this. I know women who have brought other women home to their husbands to share like a gift.

my brother's wedding present from his wife was...her best friend.

DON'T GET MARRIED, EVER.

Hey whatever happened to different strokes for different folks? Why is everyone so puritanical now?

Have the 60s taught you nothing?

marriage is so much more than just sex.

for those that are Christian, this set-up probably wouldn't work out...

for those that aren't, marriage is often a tying of financial selves wrapped up in friendship. a way to have and raise children...to provide for them and each other...

some people have the man lead in a marriage...others have the woman do so...others have perfect partnerships. each of these is a valid set-up...

if an open relationship doesn't appeal to you, don't have one.

I'm just against marriage. That is my advice for everyone.

well, sometimes it is beneficial to marry for tax, property, and insurance reasons. There are legal benefits to marriage.

lulu you are the voice of reason!

Boy, the women I talk to don't even like you thinking about other women. They're jealous, I guess. I guess I might need to be less honest about looking around to see who's compatible or not, about communicating to build understanding and trust and such.

As far as sex outside of marriage goes, I'm not for it either before or after marriage. It causes physical, emotional, social and monetary problems. For some people, it might work, but for the vast majority it's a bad idea and a huge mistake.

God calls sex outside of marriage adultery. That means it's an adulteration of a marriage and a contamination of a marriage. Marriage in his view is two people joining together into one. But what happens to that when a third party is brought in? It doesn't add up and is grounds for divorce.

Satan likes to deceive. He likes to tear apart marriage and tear down people.

Pre arranged or not, I don't think cheating's a good idea.

I don't talk to married women even if their seperrated as they might like me and then I IN HER HUSBAND MIND would be seen as the man who took her from him, or SHE COULD use me IN HER MIND, as the man to LEAVE her husband for..
DIVORCE then talk to ME,,,thats my truth..

If you ever had a wife cheat on YOU.
THEN YOU NEVER want to BE in THAT situration with anyone ever!

we were not talking about cheating so much as open marriage. Cheating implies deception; there is no deception in an open marriage.

And I was not expecting religious people would want to do this; but why must they judge others for doing it?

Not everyone believes in your God or your bible. Wasn't there something in that book about not judging others?

That is all I have been talking about. Whether or not I would do these things is irrelevant. I am talking about someone else's right to chose it. would you take that away from someone else because it is not something that you personally would want? I just don't understand that type of thinking.

this is about open marriage, not cheating.

wow,,,,NOW im feeling bad......

I call an OPEN MARRAGE FINISHED. Divorce,,,,,lol

Because why would ANYONE want to SHARE their LOVE with a THIRD person, or to THINK that THEIR other would WANT another?
THATS just wrong in my mind.....

I would say that "THEY" CAN'T REALLY BE IN-LOVE WITH EACH OTHER if thats what THEY want!

so anyone who doesn't want exactly what you want is wrong?

Ok.

I suppose to each his/her own....but i would never agree to such a marriage. Just old fashioned christian values don't mind me....just stating my opinion.

I have been single and married twice. I can only speak from personal experience. The benefits do not outweigh the problems and pitfalls of marriage for some people. Most people are unhappy or else at least one of the people in the marriage is unhappy .. the other one is just clueless about it.

JB

Mark - I am not a traditional person - not even a Christian but I would not agree to it either. I just think it is notable how many people judge others who chose it. I can't figure out why.

You have every right to be married as anyone else. Misery loves company, after all. I just don't think anyone should get married, UNLESS it is for the sole purpose of raising a family together. There is no other reason to get married except for that.

After the family is raised, then get divorced if you want... only if you are unhappy at that point. If you are comfortable and still happy, stay together.

You can love more than one person I am sure. I see nothing wrong with a man having more than one wife or a woman having more than one husband. What about group marriage? It happens in other societies... africa. A man has three or four wives and many children. They think nothing of it. They love and take care of each other.

It depends on the society.

Well what I said was it would never happen with me. To each there own they all have there own life and can do as they please. But.... I still don't believe in it yeah maybe I'm old fashion but that is the way I was raised. But then I have never dated more then one person at a time in my life I believe you should give your all in any relationship. Others can do as they please would I hang around those that do it not on that friendly of a level. Just my opinion