stay that way. the one nighters want that. the guys in for the long run don't.

I think by "nice" people are referring to courtesy. Being kind, thoughtful, and considerate expectations we all have. Unfortunately, there are people who have these expectations but do not then, in turn give them to others. By this being a site to connect with other people and possibly find a person with whom you are attracted in many ways, I think empathy is the word we shoud be using.

Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you sent a message to a person you were interested in and they did not bother to respond... think to yourself, have I liked it when that same thing happened to me? And even if the person came off rude or you were just not interested, have the decency to point that out as kindly as you can. We are all strangers here, to an extent, and have we all not heard of societry extrolling the virtues of random acts of kindness to strangers??

What we need to do here, as a group, is practice what we preach.

There was a post, I cannot recall her name, who spoke of there needing to be an element of a "bad boy" within men to make them attractive. I agree, mostly. There were others who talked of doormats and being overly nice to the point of seeming fake. What this represents to me, is a variety of different preferences and tastes that we all should take into consideration. What I find atractive and appealing might not be to others, and vice versa.

was it the kind of nice where you always want to do what she wants to do?
was it the kind where you always give in at a arguement 'to be the better person' or because 'you dont want to fight'?

because when a woman says "you are too nice" what she is saying is "I feel like you're holding me up on a podium"
women love to be pampered, but it has to becoming from the right place internally, if you are being nice because you are petrified that she will leave you then its REEKS in the atmosphere of your relationship and its repulsive.

I agree. However, I would add that this kind of person seems as though they have no personality, preferences, or free will. I would prefer a guy tell me what time he's picking me up, and then take me wherever. I can make do. At least this shows some forethought and consideration into the activities.

If there are things I'd like to do, I'll make them known. I like a person with passions, with preferences, and skills. I want to see that. I do not want a person who goes along to get along on a constant basis. I want some backbone, some strength, and some balance.

I'm admittedly very nice, and I don't plan on changing that - I plan on finding someone who appreciates it.

I think 'Being too Nice' probably means lack of Self-Confidence....

And if that is the case you don't have much chance of being successful....

I know how you feel hun. I dont care how old (physically) someone is, i treat them the way they act. If they act immature and chldish, I treat them like a child, even if they ARE 55 years old. And on the reverse, if a 10 year old acts mature and responsible, I treat him more like an adult (yes with obvious exceptions for all you perverts).
My ex hates this for reasons you can all probably figure out yourselves

There is never a reason to kick ass if you can walk away first, or even after the first swing. Don't getme wrong, there is also nothing wrong with standing up and defending yourself if you have no other recourse, but if you can walk away, then do so. you are not too nice for doing so.

It seems like it's the younger women who tend to gravitate toward the loser guys who hurt them. But I do get a chuckle out of it when a lady shows interest, then flakes away when I show any hint of interest in return. Again, that is typical of women under 25 or so.

I cant count that high

I right there with you Bro, but I am not going to change who I am for anyone.

I am the closest thing to emotionless as one can get in a relationship. I think Nice is NICE, but no one can be always nice... It's not natural. So when you are constantly nice, people question what kind of thoughts are going through your head when it's not reciprocated. Or they might think you have ulterior motives.....
I'm not nice, I'm not mean, I'm just cool like that :)

I told a guy he was "a little too nice". All he thought about was sex and that is boring. I like to go out and do stuff. Have fun. Go out to dinner. So, i guess i should have told him he was boring and too tuned in to "everything is about sex", but, it was easier to say he was too nice. I am being honest about why I said that to him. He hasn't bothered me since. Which is exactly what I wanted.
Hey, I want love, a relationship, but, I know what I don't want and that guy was for sure, it.

Nice is great but i want someone real!!

I agree with you. Love yourself and others will follow.


Good guys are the best, just as long as you can be strong
enough to stand up for your beliefs.

Too bad you are so far away.

When she told you you were too nice, that was bullsh*t. She just didn't want to own up to how she was feeling by being honest with you about why she didn't want to be with you. She was taking the easy way out for herself and trying not to hurt your feelings.

I hate to be told, "you're a good guy" WTF???

It's usually followed by a "Dear John" speech!!!

shoulda just been honest

don't let the black hat fool ya ladies

i'm nice i mean