When you have invited him home for a nightcap and it starts getting really hot and heavy, go 'freshen up' and return with a clipboard of papers requiring he print his full name and date of birth, then sign this responsibility and conduct agreement before you can continue.

Before the date, clear a space on your trophy board and print her name and the date of your 'date' on the empty panty bag.

When you first get her home, show her your video camera, bragging you have others that are even smaller.

"That? That's a fever blister but its okay, I get them all the time"

During your dinner he suddenly gets quiet and starts to turn red. Then you smell it...and you keep on smelling it the entire date.

"I just queefed!" she says every time you touch her.

Who's there?

Halle Berry

Wear a dress that hugs your figure in all the right places. Showing some cleavage is great. Touch his hand a lot during dinner. Never take your eyes off his face. When he tries to kiss or hug you at the end of the night, back away with shocked disbelief on your face. Say, "I'm not that type of girl. No touching, kissing, sex, until after we're married. And even then, only as scheduled." He'll adore you; because he'll know that you've saved yourself specifically for him.

Stupid!
So dumb, I love it!

Gorgeous choice, Poetry...

Insert Keanu Reeves for me

When she asks you how many kids you have tell her you're not really sure, women love an air of mystery around a man.

When on the first date your partner asks what you will be having on menu, encourage them to guess the answer/s. The best result is achieved if you persist them to continue guessing.

Yes! Or go item by item down the menu, discussing the reasons why you are ruling out each dish that you don't choose. Who wouldn't be impressed by your conscientiousness in selecting the perfect meal?

It is this (academic) attention to detail and the micro-assessing of the menu that often leads to date number 2.

You crack me up, Merry!

Just loving this thread!

Some comments are making me laugh out loud

Please know that I am taking notes for future dates

My biggest worry is after combining all of our wisdom we'll end up shutting Mingle down because there won't be any single people left!

Texting etiquette is overrated. People generally respond positively to texts that read like this:

"Hy u, wot u up2?
Wanna b my yf?
Ur kewt btw...
Omg ummm 4ree 2nite?
Wanna hang?
cud b kewl.
TTYL babe."

This is called "How to Woo..."

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery so I try to spend a good hour repeating everything she says mimicking her voice. Usually so flattered she is left speechless.

If there's a wait when you get to the restaurant. Ignore everyone waiting in line and head to the front. Create a disturbance until they seat you first (has to be before anyone else that was in line). Before you head to your table, look back, shrug, and say to everyone still waiting there, "I'd wanna be me too." It's important for him to see that you care about the "little people."

Hi I'm interested to you

Hi I'm interested to you

What is your country