Is it for validation ?

To connect ?

Sympathy ?

Entertainment ?

Or something else?


How do you handle rejection ?

Can you tell the difference between flirting and friendly banter ?

What have you learnt about flirting online ?

How do you rate your flirting abilities ?

For me , flirting is about connection with someone I am attracted to . Seldom do I flirt with men that I have no romantic interest in . I endeavour to send the right signals and avoid confusion .. but even then there can be misunderstandings. more so online where it is not always possible to rely on body cue language .


I consider myself a confident flirter with a hint of cheekiness when required :

What motivates me to flirt? I don't think it's any one thing, it varies.

Sometimes for the connection. Sometimes to see their reaction. But most times I'm not consciously thinking about it, nor do I initiate it, it's usually just a response to something he said. I'm not really that good at flirting, least not that I am aware of.

Handling reaction... Depends on how long I've known the guy and to what extent our interactions have been. With those who I just met, my ego might be bruised for a second or two, but then I move on. Those who I've known longer, it takes me a couple days to recover. Seems I still internalize it, rather than saying "Oh well, their loss" or being happy that I'm one step closer to meeting the one that's right for me.

I normally cannot tell the difference between flirting and friendly banter... especially online, whether that be in the forums or through messaging. In person, it's still difficult at times, but a lot easier.

What have I learned about online flirting... It generally means absolutely nothing! Most who do it are doing it simply for fun/entertainment, and a few do it in order to inflate their egos. Regardless of the reason, the majority of those who flirt appear to not have any intention of it leading anywhere... it's just an online thing.

Good topic Blondey!

My flirt comes from instinct, I don’t make a conscious decision to flirt. It just comes
blurting out when there’s a natural connection. It’s an out of body experience.

Fun thread, Blondey!

Hm...I think I'm mostly a playful banter-type of a flirt. I try to be careful not to send the wrong message, but apparently I do sometimes. I do flirt with both men and women to varying degrees.

As far as my motivations for flirting, I'd probably say it's some combination of the things you mentioned (validation, connection, entertainment), except for not sympathy. That's never been a motivation for me.

I guess I'm fairly confident at flirting, especially when I don't feel like I have anything to lose. In forums I don't really put myself out there. I'll talk to most everyone. If I were taking a chance on someone specific and making my feelings known, there's more of a chance of rejection. I would be much less confident in that situation.

When it comes to being able to tell when someone is flirting with ME, I'm not that great at it. I will nearly always assume they are just being friendly and playing around. I have to pretty much be smacked upside the head in order to figure out someone is actually interested in me.

For me it's much like this. It's not motivation (external) but from inspiration. It just happens when you vibe with someone.

I think it's also for that reason I can feel uncomfortable when a man flirts with me while I'm not feeling any vibe.

I do know the difference between flirting & friendly banter although it's a thin line. Sometimes, or actually quite often, men think that when you're friendly they've got a potential fish on the line.
I got very close to getting raped because of that. I think that's when I decided that being friends with a man doesn't work for me.
I do have experiences to the contrary but that one happening... I'm not willing to take that risk again.

Rejection is never pleasant, but it does depend on the level of investment in the connection. And also on how the message is conveyed.

Great topic..

I say "all the above" to Blonday's open, especially "validation", even if the flirt isn't with romantic or sexual intent, it's a great way to harmlessly feel good and make someone else feel good.

As to rejection, yes, there's that, ask any salesman about rejection and they'll tell you the better you are at accepting and moving on, the better a salesman you are.

Here, to that, practice makes perfect.

Flirting as a man is so touch and go. Every man will go through hundreds of rejections even if no flirting is involved. Is it for validation? Sure, as much as it is in validating the person you're flirting with. It's "hey, I find you attractive and approachable, and I believe I may have a shot."
Most of the time men can't tell the difference between banter and flirting. There, I said it. We have nooo clue. it's because we have a few choices in front of us. A: she's totally flirting with me, mad. B: She's flirting subtly because she doesn't like the direct approach. C: She's taking the piss D: She wants something (Happens too many times in pubs) E: You're making her uncomfortable and she's just being agreeable ( sadly it does happen) F: She's pretending to be nice because your friend and hers are hitting it off G: SHE'S A FRIENDLY PERSON!
We miss so many hints because we're trying to solve the riddle of someone we find attractive talking to us.
Flirting online is a bit easier with emojis but so much flirting is body language and tone of voice.
if it's in person, I'm extremely charming, because I prefer genuine conversation and people dig it. online however... I think I'm still improving

I never flirt, never have.
The reason being, it is taken way too seriously.
Then you have to crawl back out of someone
else's imagination.

Snap - i never bother, as no one would be interested anyway haha!

My ex used to tell me I'm so dense I wouldn't know if someone was flirting with me or not. She was probably right.

Will take all 5 guilty,
Honour..
I'm born for it
Rejection is just like injection of sometime

Not find anyone to feel,
I can be serious..
Free..........

Humm when they are flirting with me and there seems to be a bit of a connection... that is if they are single~~

If they are taken, to me it is a turn off when they flirt...

As far as rejection it is what it is just cause you are interested in someone does not mean they are with you..

But now friendly banter with a little flirt thrown in to me is awesome for we both know it will not go any farther just having a bit of fun~~

Friendly banter is always good, but not everyone has the same sense of humour so for me perhaps more a polite conversation with strangers, I have no wish to offend anyone. Rejection has never really bothered me, if you ask someone out you have to accept they may say no, it's a little disheartening when that happens but nothing ventured nothing gained as they say.

Only to inject a bit of humor into a given situation. If its stressful, then only to lighten up the mood.

No,I can't tell flirts from friendly banter. So I take it all as friendly banter. If I get rejected, I shut up. If I see an opening to leave, I do.


I haven't learned anything about flirting online, except it isn't possible. I have no flirting abilities.The times I've tried, have all come out as dismal flops. So I just don't make the attempt.

......reading on

hnmmm reading her face...
even you Kevin
Just Kidding

I don't know how to flirt, but can sense who is flirting, lol

Closest I get to flirting is being comfortable enough with someone to say what I am thinking... which can be quite witty at times -and always sincere

I have zero game

I don't actually want "game"

I really don't know the ABCD of Flirting. I see in front of me so many people Flirting here . I feel so Sad . Alas ,If I had known How to Flirt. But How ? is the Biggest Question Now ??