A Hummer? Why not a Porsche, Mercedes, how about a Corvette? What year Hummer? And is that really being eco aware, ? What with gasoline prices on the increase and you know Hummers aren't fuel efficient and the trade in value on them isn't that great . How about a Prius (?) instead?

Is there a difference?

To me yes.

Hummers are surprisingly more comfortable than all others suggested.
- soft interiors
- better control
- excellent compression
- some even come with ashtrays

They are coming out with an electric hummer, and I'm thinking there are already a few guys that have already had an electric hummer. Sure would be nice to get a head in life.

jealousy is a feeling .. possessiveness is a behaviour

Electric Hummer blows compared to a regular Hummer.

Possessiveness grounded in commitment , protection and care can increase bonds in a relationship .

Over-possessiveness based on insecurity, distrust and obsession is usually dysfunctional and in most cases creates inequality in a relationship .

In a relationship .., I like a man who is protective of me .. but also is aware of my strengths and limitations .

I don't feel possessiveness is ever healthy. It is a sign of mistrust, insecurity and likely low self-esteem, it easily turns into control issues and jealousy.
A partner being protective is entirely different. Such a partner does trust you and respects you etc.

It's a bit of a tricky question as in some situations our egos feel very flattered when our partner shows possessiveness. But then you have 2 egos acting and reacting, and ego usually isn't love.

Possessiveness doesn't need to be negative although it can be, it depends on one's self-esteem. It can lead to controlling behavior but not necessarily, again, it depends on the person.
To be possessive can show a total acceptance of the other and unwillingness to share which can be a good thing in a balanced individual. I think it's all about nuance and respect. Those feelings and behaviors do not exist in a vacuum, they intertwine with other feelings and behaviors and tug at a person's behavior and her/his esteem for the other.

Possessiveness in a relationship is generational conditioning.
Many people have a problem showing true equality to all others.

I do not possess my girlfriend and she does not possess me.
We are together because each of us want to be together with each other.

Jealousy is rooted in possessiveness.
Since we are both our own person, we are both free to conduct ourselves as we see fit.
When conflict arises, we discuss and come to an agreement.
Each of us has the option to end this relationship at any time.
Yet, we stay together because we can allow each other to be the person we want to be.
It has a lot to do with the fact we respect each other as the one we choose to share ourselves with.

I keep seeing her because I enjoy her as the person she is, not the person I decide she should be.
She keeps seeing me because she enjoys the person I am not the person she thinks I should be.
Its a mutual respect, understanding.

Believe me, I've tried the possessive thing from both positions and its not very good at all.
What we have, works!

Choose wisely

I agree with the intent of your reply but equality and possession are not complimentary.
If equality exists, possession can't.
If possession exists, equality can't.

Granted there can be different possessive behaviors which reinforce other equality in the relationship but agreement is not considered possession.
Agreement grants authority.
Authority implies possession.
Authority and possession assign power.
When someone else has power over you (given or taken) they are in possession of your will and it is not the same thing as equality.
When you give someone else the power to dictate how you think, feel, act or speak you are not equal.

Agreement and authority do not align with equality.
Equality does not align with agreement or authority.
The basis of society is agreement but as we witness daily, societies are not equal.
An agreement between two people is a basic society.

For the most part, a relationship between two people will be a societal agreement but some inequality will always exist. Only in unique relationships can there be true equality in all aspects of the relationship.

You've described possessiveness in all it's negative aspects coming from an unbalanced individual and in that I agree with you.
I'm seeing possessiveness in a positive way from an emotionally balanced individual. When both persons are possessive of each other in a relationship then they're in symbiose and in harmony.
Everything has positive and negative, it all depends on the people involved.

I do not agree although I too get what you're intent is. But possessiveness is never positive. And an emotionally balanced individual won't be or feel possessiveness of their partner either. You can be proud of someone, I think that's more what a balanced person would feel and display.
You can be proud that someone is your partner for instance. Feel happy and lucky they're your partner and are in relationship with you. But that is entirely different from feeling possessive.
Possessive is simply restricting, controlling, based on low self-esteem, not trusting, and so on. It is fear based. Ego. There's no positive side to that.

I disagree. As I said, everything has a negative and positive side depending on the person's intentions and emotional stability. There is a difference between healthy possessiveness and unhealthy. Healthy possessiveness is based in love, respect and equality. It can bring two persons closer than they ever thought possible when it's reciprocal in mutual understanding.
Where it becomes unhealthy is when one person loses respect and goes beyond the limits of respect and love.
When something is based on love and respect, it can never be negative.

Perhaps you missed the part where I said: For the most part, a relationship between two people will be a societal agreement but some inequality will always exist. Only in unique relationships can there be true equality in all aspects of the relationship.

I have no agenda for or against alignment in a relationship.
I've experienced both aspects.

Plus, one could consider when there is no possession in a relationship, love cannot flourish. I believe this is because love is generationally taught to be possessive.
Love itself is a feeling which happens within. Its based on self and in that sense, selfish.
Certain words trigger positive or negative reaction.
Its the same when someone refers to another as ignorant.
Ignorant is lack of understanding.
Selfish is something which is of the self.
Its the context which defines the use.

Most people think of possession as selfish in the negative sense.
Many people are unable to grasp concepts beyond their ability to understand the common reference. They hear or read the words ignorant, possession and selfish and immediately assign it a negative meaning.

I speak and write according to what makes sense to me. Perhaps there are better words to say what I mean but I'm unaware of them or I believe those I am conversing with are. I'm not a literary giant.

All I know is I am in a relationship with a woman with which we do not focus on possessives. Neither of us are dictated by jealousy or power over one another. It seems to be working.

Speaking from my own point of view, I don't operate in fear of loss or need for control in our relationship. Agreements we make are accepted and kept.
Everything from what we will have for dinner to whether we will meet up.
She decides her path and I decide mine and we both enjoy sharing those paths together. When that is no longer the case, we both understand our relationship will no longer be viable to our inner happiness and contentment.
Since we both care for each other, we only want the best for each other and if one of us is no longer the best, we are prepared to let go so we can find our own contentment.
What the hell is wrong with that? LOL

You can hold each other's hand as a show of possession but you can also hold their hand just to feel their warm embrace. I choose the warm embrace. It makes me feel good, which is stingy of me in a sense but she feels good about it too, so its something we do which makes both of us feel good. If one of us no longer wants to hold the other's hand we just let go, its not an issue at all. In a sense, it can be inequality but it certainly isn't possessive.

I am overwhelmed with the deliberation of the members, I am thankful for the seriousness and intensity with which most of you have discussed. When I tabled this topic, I really wanted us to participate intensely yet scientifically as this trait of "ownership/possession" in relationships is proving fatal! I, for myself, have always been intrigued by the complex nature of human relationship and its beauty!
I usually try to avoid the terms - "positive, negative" other than when I am referring to arithmetic, algebra or similar subjects which require "equations". Hence, I shall try to put forth my opinion thus:
Fear of losing out on one's partner is rooted in insecurity, which in turn may urge the build up of possession. However, insecurity is seldom exclusive, more often than not, it is inclusive. Hence, if not addressed not may lead to other serious manifestations.
There is another medieval and patriarchal root of possession, slavery/bondage, the discussion of which is beyond the scope of this thread.
We too often misunderstand "care/caring" as possessiveness! However, if we observe closely, these are entirely different feelings.

Nope.
Just like a silverback I’m an over protective person so it won’t work with me.

there is also a medieval /patriarchal root associated with marriage .., a time when women equated to nothing more than a man’s possession. That was completely about control . I can think of at least one lifestyle today that echoes such possessiveness .. can you sir

Clearly like most behaviour...intent, context and values are important when it comes to deciding if possessiveness is beneficial or harmful