Thank you very much.

no worries hope your day is well

Hi everyone,, Just jumping in on this topic because I have been there. Had a complete breakdown when I was 23 and pregnant with my 4th child. Had seven electric shock treatments and took me about 2 yrs before I felt "normal" again, whatever normal is. Couldn't take the meds, everything reacts opposite with me so I had to do it on my own. Nobody knows what a hell that is until you have been there. I lost both my husband and my mom between March and Oct.this year. I was devastated!! Had to get myself to the dr., but I know smart enough to know when I need help. Doing better now but after the first time, I promised myself never to go there again. All I can tell you is find someone to talk to , it helps alot. I'm here if you ever need help. Sorry to be so long on here, but this really hits home with me!

How beautiful!!!

It’s a Cherokee blessing

mechanic called
fuel pump
good chunk of change (with the towing) but still
gotta have a car
luckly i get paid tommorw so itll help some and i worked a ton during the holidays

Welcome mssilver........that is a load you bear. Im sorry to hear about that, but glad you found our little thread......

Marie, please don't worry, I'll be fine. Just hermited up for a while till school starts. When Im at school its not so bad and I will be getting some $$ on the 1st. You are so sweet.

Take care of the ankle and back. How did you fall?

if you need someone to talk to creations..
im usually around

Thanks Jeff, you are sweet. I just post once in a while. I have you on my friends list and you know where my email box is if you want to talk too.

i know
:)
but it goes both ways ;)

That is a beautiful blessing, Thunder. Thanks for sharing. Listening to the song Cherokee Nation is full of inspiration for me. I have written poetry about my ancestor Morning Dove. Her folks went into the Singing River but she married a doctor and became Morning Dove White.

Grey Eagle And Morning Dove

Oh, great of spirit of love that protects
the mentally insane, widows and insects
hear my fervent wish in this dark hour
so that I may feel your great power.
Guide my steps as I walk the trail
that borders between heaven and hell
so that I don't get lost in the night
and be overcome with all the fright.
Clutch my hand in your loving grip
so I don't falter; stumble or trip
on my big two left feet in this mess
and give me peace as I get dressed.
Help me to understand the impossible
because with you I know all is possible
and I am just a small part of life
trying to cope with all this strife.
Walk daily with me and be my friend
as I try to make all of my amends
ever reminded of past in pictures
and so many forgotten lectures.
Oh, great potter of lumped clay
don't let me survive to decay
cause I am a long way from death
and I still draw many a breath.
Thank you for all the sanctuaries
that seemed like little estuaries
but became like great seas of hope
once your relieved me of the dope.
Oh, precious father and loving mother
your gift of life I still discover
as I walked down a different path
no longer do I need the warpath.
Make me just a little Indian brave
so that I can learn to behave
and live in the paleface's place
as I honor and love your grace.
Grey Eagle and Morning Dove
fill my heart with your love
as I see you glide up in flight
where the moon-bow touches night.

That is beautiful

Thought I heard that before. I am into the NA culture and do a lot of reading about it.

hi cutie,
i am a housekeeper on an altzheimers unit.you can't help but become attached to the residents.i have lost a few I really miss and we(the staff) all swap stories about them.something will happen or a certain song will come on and it will remind me of one resident or another..The hardest passing I had to deal with was my buddy Ralph .He was in the Air Force in WW2 and worked for NASA but altzheimers had reeked havoc.He was also a mean sob when he wanted to be but he always had a hug and a kind word for me.Oh I got yelled at but I told him I was just a private so he promoted me on the spot so I could set the rest of the staff straight lol.anyway I miss him a lot along with many others who live on in my and others memory.so I can relate to your blues..hugs to you..

oh and a happy tidbit.i talked to my brother and will be getting pictures of my birthmother soon.cant wait !!i have 6 brothers and sisters i knew nothing about bringing the total to seven kids so far.still searching for birthfather and older sibling.hopefully when i do get to talk to birthmom,I will get his name and begin another fantastic journey looking for him.keep me in your prayers!!

That is awesome news, Jax that you learned of. Last night one of our ladies ' room mate went to the hospital. Last time when the one that stay had to be put into another room because of she was infectious they missed each other. They have been together since grade school. Each morning when I go to get one of them up they tell me that they are not getting up if the other one isn't getting up. The one they took to the hospital is the one I have to go through the same routine each morning of why do they have to get us up each morning-we never do anything. She had thought that it was unfair that the other one had a wheelchair and she had to use her walker. Now she has a wheelchair and asked for both of her side rails to be put up so she doesn't fall in the floor. Then just after I came on shift last night another one who was a LPN but now a resident had to go to the hospital. I am getting to learn what UTI means. Another one who has MS and Lupus had to have a female catheter inserted three times because it was bypassing. The nurse who is pregnant with twins and who is manic-depressive was venting with me. One of the twins is pretty laid back but the other one keeps kicking her. I know it is hard on the nurse because she is a very strong woman and wants to do more but I try to stay close because I don't want her to miscarriage. On a brighter note I just bought the bullet and got on a two year plan with AT&T. Got the most expensive RAZR. Found out that my older sister in Wyoming has the same plan and our calls will be free. I just love the bigger number. That iddy biddy Samsung was just too little for my fat fingers.

merry late christmas y'all............y'all have a good one like i did?

hi amber,i had a great xmas..glad you did.
roy i went to see a resident who had broken her hip after transfering to a new facility.she wasnt there an hour and she fell.well anyway she didnt recognize me,she;s skeletal and i believe on the way out.when she was at our place she did crafts,joked ,talked etc.now she is but a shell.very sad.this isnt the first time she had broke her hip but i believe it was the worst fracture.i dont expect she will last much longer.she was my friend and it saddens me to see her so lifeless.

Jax, I can relate with that. From dealing with Alzheimer residents for over a year now I have gotten used to them going crazy but what gets eerie to me is when they go sane. It is like their anger or rage when it goes bad is out of kelter. What made me think of that is one resident while I was doing the ice and replacing briefs told me that I hadn't talked to her all day. The question of why I hadn't talked to was like, "Am I no longer a person because I show feelings or emotions?" Another resident who is normally nice and cooperative had this rage last night. She wanted everyone out of her house and she was out in the hall by the nurses' station. The one that was by the nurses' station that had asked me why I had talked to her earlier told me not to go into the nurses' station because she thought the area was her kitchen and she thought she had a cake baking in there and she didn't want me to make it go flat. Each one is their own way touches me deeply and the loss of a friend does get to me. My condolences for the one that you lost. A loss of a friend is traumatic.

Last night was nice. I got to work with an aide who is a widow. She just lost her husband to a heart attack this last January. She was nice to work with and has similar techniques with the residents as me. The same caring and nurturing tendencies as me. We got to compare notes and she lost her husband to a heart attack just like I lost my wife to a heart attack. Some how I really didn't feel alone last night. Was nice to have someone to share with the grieving process. I really wasn't depressed last night at all.