Yeah, I forgot about the pony. Still trying to get some eggnog. My friend and her old lady though said that she had a good recipe for eggnog. She got it from a person who work's at our local Harp's store. I ask my friend if her old lady was having morning sickness last night and she thought that was biologically impossible. Got to meet her nine year old son this morning. He was a cute tyke. I let her borrow 20 dollars so she would have enough gas money to get home. I am really getting to like her and her old lady. I hope her old lady starts to feeling better, today. She tried to go home last night but couldn't get anybody to take her place. I am really sure which one I like better-her or her old lady but they both seem like real nice people. Had a nice time with my folks at Christmas. Hope everyone else's Christmas was good.

How many of you are still blue? I mean I never cared for new years anyway, but things just didn't turen out the way I wanted them to eventhough I just had small plans.
I didn't have the gas to get to the family get together. They are over 50 mi away, and had a short date on xmas eve.....Christmas day I had a good friend come over. He kept me company and invited me to dinner, but I just couldn't make myself go. Too much anxiety meeting people new on a holiday and eating at thier house.
Everyoen called and I tried to put on my happy attitude for them but the truth is that I feel like sh it...........
I only went on the date cuz we met a few blocks from my house at a starbucks. Still felt guilty for not being able to get to my family.
I even changed plans with my daughter cuz I felt so bad (anxiety) and it was xmas eve and wanted me to go to her house. No biggie, but then wanted me to go shopping. NO WAY on xmas eve. I know better than that!
School will be starting on the 3rd, which will keep me busy but now anxiety over books and supplies.....sighhhhhhhh. Most days I will be there from 9 am to almost 10 pm, unless the instructor doesn't need me to be there aiding. But even then, she lets me stick around and work on my projects.
I just felt like being a hermit. Is that so awful? I mean I really didn't want to be around too many people especially in a confined space.
Oh hell, I guess I can whine and cry all day long. PFTTTTTTTTT! I hate being a loser

i wish i could help

im not 'blue' i am just lonely. i wish i knew how to meet someone that was interested in me (yes i know the irony that i'm on a dating site)

im kind of sad people who mean alot to me insisted they would call on christmas to talk to me not one call and here it is the day after and still no call, think its time to find new friends.

I'm sorry thunder Most of the time I don't hear from anyone either but this year they called. was floored. And apprecited it, but I definately know how you feel.

no blues here ,just tired.of course i'm on vacation from my work..

I have been building up my own friends' network. I feel most comfortable at home even though it does get lonely at times. Was okay to be with the family for a short duration but my place is my sanctuary. I think it is because I have adapted to being alone and it is now normal for me. Have not been in a party mood. Have been able to be happy for others.

Was cool that you felt comfortable for your friend to be at your house, Creation. I can relate with the hermit lifestyle. For me it was like a plus to be able to be independent enough to be actually be able to help someone else. Just a few months back I was still having to bum money from mom to make it from one paycheck to the next. I feel like I am gaining some maturity. I will even be able to pay for car insurance for six months instead of three which was a gain from having to pay monthly which is making my payments I make lower because I am not having to pay the extra because of more payments. It is like I am gaining in some areas but losing in other areas. Never did care for confined space but then that did kind of help me to keep my nose clean. I wouldn't say you are a loser.

Thanks Roy.....yeah this being the first time in my life living alone, I'm getting used to it, and school helps a lot. Being here and makign friends helps too. Nice to know Im not alone. And I know what it's like to be broke. I guess it is my own fault. I chose cigs over food. Found some rice and oatmeal in the cuboards way in the back hahaha.

Jax......HI, glad you dont have the blues and being tired mean you did a great job for the season. Hope you had a great xmas

Jeff.....sorry, I didn't mean to pass you up. I know the lonelies....sucks

I'am not as blue today, but still some........Feeling kinda lost today

Well, I have just about been living at work here, lately which does aid in having money but then there is the workaholicism. I mean you just can't win sometimes. Balance is something that really has become important to me. Too far left and I am sadistic. Too far right and I am masochistic, Have always had trouble dealing with extremes. Really loved what Alex said about there being no absolutes. Had a whole thread just with the theme of balance.

Cool thing that the Salvation Army did for our residents was to donate a whole bunch of nonskid socks to the residents. They stretch for the people who have feet that swell and institutional floors are slippery places. Those little rubber thingies are awesome.

I felt like a kid in a candy shop when our residents got some new clothes sets. Some have like two sets of clothes to their names. It was like depressing dressing them. It was almost like the Matrix. Do you want the red pill or the blue pill? How about some freaking Skittles?

well my car broke down tonight with my sister in it. i got alittle money but i dont know if ti will be worht fixing and i know i dont have enough money to get a new used car?....
just feels like all my life things have been happening to me bad

Still feel like everyone I care about forgot me mom did not even call for christmas or today, Getting tired of people telling me they care and they are going to call or come see me sing or spend time with me and then nothing, does anyone keep there word anymore. People will even call and say hey i got another call i'll call you right back. Right back means the same day not a week later, guess they all think i dont have feelings or just dont care. Somedays its just hard to get up.

im sorry sweetie...had same thing here i would have called to talk...i was so bored and sad i couldnt see straight! xoxoxox

thank you madam, everyday seems to get harder, and it seems like the world thinks im as tough as i look but no one looks inside. Im just tired maybe i will get some sleep i dont know need to clear my head i cant even concentrate to record anymore now im going to blow this shot that i have.

Must be going around. I spent lunch with dad at the nursing home on Christmas and then came home and tried to sleep the day off. I managed to fall on Sunday (it wasn't hard to do, believe me) but hurt my ankle and my back and shoulder are sore, so took a Vicodin and hoped to sleep the afternoon away, but it didn't work.

Sorry people didn't call Thunder. Heck, call them, say "I haven't heard from you and was wondering how you were," then you can say "oops, got another call, will call you back later." Sorry, guess I don't sound real nice right now, but seriously, make the first step and see what happens. Maybe your mom is thinking the same about you not calling her, just a thought.

Karen - sorry things are not going well right now. Wish I could fix it for you. Heck, I have food, send me your address and I can mail you some, and I am not kidding either. Have been donating it to people at work who need it, would love to send you some.

Jeff - sorry about the car, think my van is working up to an issue too, transmission fluid for some reason suddenly was low. Had it filled, but need to check it again. All I need now is a transmission issue with that bugger, heck on 198,000 miles or so, don't know why it would be developing problems now (sorry for the sarcasm).

Jax - glad you had a good time at Christmas.

Wildchic - glad you had a good time too.

The good news is the new year is almost here and I am hoping it will be bright and happy for everyone. Think we all need a break from 2007 - and certainly hope that 2008 will bring us much brighter days ahead.

i could not be that mean, it is not my way. I guess if i mattered like they all say i do they would call, I guess its just time to move on, I dont know why i care so much about what other people do or how they treat me. I am just going to cowboy up and do the things i love with or with out people and maybe i will find new friends to care what happens to me never know hope you all have a great day, the river here today looked so pretty coming into work.

Respect

Thunder Bear

I am not sure if this belongs here. I work with mentally retarded adults. Yesterday one of them passed away. I wasn't even that close to her but I am having a real hard time with her death. It was unexpected. Blood clot in her leg travelled to her lungs. I am so teary and just glad I have today off. Not sure what to do. Just feel very sad and am trying to get out of this funk. I just keep thinking about her and seeing her face. This is soooo sad. Thanks for listening.

sorry to here that I really dont know what to say but im sorry,


May the Warm Winds of Heaven

Blow softly upon your house.

May the Great Spirit

Bless all who enter there.

May your Mocassins

Make happy tracks

in many snows,

and may the Rainbow

Always touch your shoulder.