This subject came up in another topic and appears in my daily life. I'm currently in a resort area where I do not know anyone. I regularly go for walks on the beach and to happy hour. I usually can strike up a conversation with another single man or a woman who is accompanied by a man. Starting a conversation with a single woman or 2 is almost impossible so here are my questions.

Are single woman truly fearful of any interaction with a single man who is a stranger?

Is it a reasonable fear?

What can a man do to make them more at ease?

How much of that fear is a result of sensationalized news or social media?

As someone who has been assaulted on two separate occasions by male strangers, I will say that for me, the fear is mostly in a 'vibe' I get, which comes from their general approach and mannerisms. What they do with their eyes, how they make eye contact, how stable their voice and clearly spoken they are, what they say, whether or not their eyes and/or feet seem to be shaky, whether they are doing alot of looking around, their reaction to polite disinterest ... all that would factor in to whether 'fear' would take hold or not.

When you approach these "fearful" women,
are you wielding a an axe, or a skinning knife?


I think their "fear", is a perception of yours.

Awww can't help ya here for I'm one that will talk to anyone that talks to me..

Heck I have no problem taking off on my own on my trike by myself rather enjoy..

I have had more people stop and talk to me at a gas station then I have ever had..

But now I'm still always leary at times when someone strange walks up to me women need to be cautious of their surroundings to much bad stuff going on anymore...

My moto is if the vibe is bad when they approach look for a exit.. Some you just get a bad feeling from them...

i have a lot of great conversations with men in the grocery aisle or the doctors office and THEN
the Wife appears.

THIS ^

Dude...don't *even* try chatting me up if you are married/ attached...NOPE.

Just my overall sense of things with this.
From observations and some direct experiences, I've seen that one of the things that causes all sorts of law enforcement and protective peoples to be very frustrated, is that mass media and even "social media" attempts to persuade people to behave safely and cautiously, are all but ignored.

So I don't think your concern about sensationalized media or social media chat is warranted.

What I do know well, again from direct experience, is that TONS of people who strike up conversations out of nowhere, may not be particularly dangerous, but they are all too often just mentally off enough, that they either get angry when I don't respond exactly how they desire, or are looking to attach themselves to me like emotional or social leeches, and interrupt and generally derail my day.

I also, as a part of my job, interact with casual strangers constantly, so being able to "chat" pleasantly is often an important thing to do.

As MsHarmony mentioned, I watch out for people showing polite disinterest, more than anything else, and tailor my "chat" to allow them to disengage as easily and quickly and cheerfully as they may wish to.

Also a BIG thing to NOT do, is do NOT change your apparent course, in order to parallel the stranger. If you are saying something in passing, then for goodness sakes, PASS!!!!! Do NOT stop and linger the moment they respond.

And if you have them accidentally trapped, such as you are both in an elevator, or both on a bus or subway for a while, allow plenty of space between friendly chat statements. If the stranger responds, but doesn't add a continuation comment or question, do NOT press for further "chat."

And very important, be aware of your SOCIAL DISTANCE. I hope you have an automatic good sense of this by your age, but some people never get that in every situation, there is a measurable and DIFFERENT distance to maintain with strangers. Fastest way to get someone upset with you, is to be too close for the circumstances. The AMOUNT of social distance varies according to how much distance is available, in many cases. Classic example, if there are a dozen open chairs in a waiting area, and only you and one other person waiting, do NOT choose the one right next to them, especially not if it puts you between the person and the door. You'll come across as fencing them in.

If you are walking, again, do NOT take up a position relative to them which would more rightly belong to an arranged companion, just because you are going the same way. If the environment is noisy, make up for that by raising your volume and listening more carefully; don't "fix it" by speaking into their ear.

That kind of stuff.

It could easily be something as simple as your body language

Why would a single woman read that differently than others would?

Because a single woman may be more in tune to body language if she is possibly looking for single men.

What Igor said has happened to me several times....both men and women sitting beside me in empty room. it feels creepy. I always get up, grab a magazine from another table and sit elsewhere. When in an elevator, I move to the front by the door and push the next floor button, get off and walk up OR down the stairs as needed..

Body language has a lot to do with it, and the energy they put off. When I was traveling alone by bus I had a few lay overs in the bus stations. I wasn't looking but with some of the men I had no problem speaking to, either first or after they spoke to me. But some I either avoided or cut the conversation short and walked closer to a more populated area.

I believe women are more intuitive and in tune with body language and the energy someone is emanating, whether they are looking or not.

I have never been fearful of approaching a man that I am really attracked to.

Oftentimes, they may not always feel the same way about me but rejection is a part of life. Every man don't want me.

Some men have asked me out First !

I am not complaining because I have had Many Nice dates in person not online.
I enjoy a nice kind gentleman. I don't just pick up any man.

Many men like women, who will approach them first. I am not shy.

Men just have to be themselves, I have no idea what any man should do when he's trying to get a date. I come in contact with several men in real. Life.

I do avoid men I am not interested in.

I wouldn't say that I'm fearful of any man that comes up to me to start a conversation. It depends on what they say and where I am. If a guy came up to me and said, "I've seen you around town and wanted to meet but thought you'd think I'm a pervert" (yes, that happened to me very recently) that is uncomfortable, but I was in a public place so I wasn't afraid.

Actually, EACH person can read your body language differently, because context matters every bit as much in NON verbal communication as it does for verbal communication.

A single woman in a public area, IS IN A DIFFERENT CONTEXT than even a single woman in a different location. And the context is different for a married person in the same location as they would be should they NOT be married.

Your very same actions will MEAN something entirely different to another person, depending on the exact context.

This is why the concept of MANNERS was invented and cultivated. To provide us with as complete of a verbal AND NONVERBAL vocabulary as is necessary to allow us all to interact without confusion or threat.

Trying to meet someone, make it sound like you want a friend.

Only 11% of communication, is spoken word.
As such, body language is extremely important.
As are, volume and inflection of speech.

Perhaps you are carrying that feeling that this woman may be fearful of you. You're uneasiness is what she may be picking up on. As some women have mentioned earlier - a negative vibe.

I chit chat with women all the time. I can not recall any female being afraid to talk to me

A smile does the job as a ice breaker, that is usually all it takes.

Or it just may be that the women you are approaching just aren't interested in you.