Darlin'..you can't paint real, legit women looking for a partner/ relationship like those cam girls/ "pay per view" women.

If all you want is NSA casual sex...you'd spend less money hiring a sex worker..
That way, any money you spend is *guaranteed* to get you the results you want..

People do that all the time..they even do "outcalls" (house calls)..

Does it really matter how we feel?

y'all would just say we're wrong

It does matter. I think that’s why she asked the question.

I'm sorry you feel that way and have experienced that Stu.

I believe that's true with both men and women. People tend to negate other's feelings rather than acknowledging the feeling. Sometimes though I think we think our feelings are being negated because we expect a change in the other person after we share what we're feeling.

How we feel is never wrong, can be misguided, but our feelings are real. What we choose to do about them can be right or wrong however.

Ok...

So, I'm wrong??

Of course you are, get with the program

After some research, I'm guessing one of two translations which are somewhat similar to each other:

1) If you are a real girl, knock me out
2) If you are a real girl, hit me up

Idioms don't always translate well using online translators. So I had to try a few different ones, then take my best guess.

I have no program to get with.

I agreed with you!

But... not all woman say you're wrong

“Do what is expected of one, adopt the prevailing viewpoint”

I couldn't tell...

Assimilate ???

Yes, ASSimilate

that I can do..
I AM the arse...

I'd think she was doing it for the money so red flags and lights would be going off in my head but other than that it would be awesome to have women chase you , I'd say bring it Lady's

Nnnnnnnnniiiiiiicccccccccceeeeeee!!!! Beavo!!! Well said!!!!

Hmmm... Try being in America, and being an American and being cultured; but not accepted due to Colorism and Racism in the dating world. I am a foreigner in my own land. It makes dating extremely difficult and it need not be. I have family and friends with papers and without paper and all different shades of the rainbow. I am asked for my papers all the time. I was born in America. We belong and should consider ourselves as citizens of the world. That means we are active participants of the world. It starts with understanding the contribution of diversity in such a wonderful country and celebrating such diversity. Humanism, is another great virtue to possess. For me, I say that we are all human beings and drip the same colour blood. At the same time, I am not color blind, instead I celebrate diversity. All the continents and countries exist right here in America. Yet, we are ignorant to this fact. We want to assimilate and mainstream to the point where people forget where they come from. This is sad. The similarities in another regardless of culture, religion, race, creed, sexual oirentation is the absolute beauty of this nation. Claiming my culture does not make me any less American. To be blunt, I will not have curly locks and green eyes with pale skin in this lifetime. But, we love to compare. Yes, their is a racial hierarchy, still in America. In the dating world, racism and colorism is still prevalent because of our lack of acceptance of others and ignorance. Of course, some are this way. Unfortunately, many have crossed my path to express their ignorance and further stereotype with their sexual fantasies. There are different layers of it. I think I have gone through most of these layers of racism. From curious to Lighter or darker, to rude sexual comments based on the color of my skin. Yes, they outright tell me online or to my face. So, the playing field is not the same or equal. I do not aspire to be anything or anyone other than myself. But, racism does hurt. I have learned to simply be happy and alone. It comes from different folks of different backgrounds. Very sad.

So I didn't have a chance to read most of the comments on this interesting thread but I will throw my two cents in.


All of us know a couple , where one person appears to be doing all the pursuing, initiating or planning, and the other person is lazy and unappreciative, and that's because it's so typical of humans to take each other for granted when we unconsciously get stuck in certain roles.


So while I think most men appreciate a woman initiating or even fueling the initial chase, it's way too easy for the aggressively pursued" to get cocky and laid back when the other person is always doing the initiating.

And it works in the reverse too. I genuinely feel most women take guys for granted when the guys are the sole asserters.

And can we all be honest in admitting that we are generally turned off by anyone, whether male or female if they are too aggressive in their pursuit? I'm mainly referring to the beginning stage where first impressions are so critical in determining whether you agree to date them or not.

Most men and women are attracted to CONFIDENCE , and many of the men or women who "doggedly" pursue an individual in the beginning , end up coming accross as stalkerish , desperate or insecure which is a scent that appeals to no one.

Great points and insight peggy.

I know for me I've been guilty of being the lazy one, not out of arrogance or cockiness, it's more of a subconscious thing where I don't think to balance it out. I was conditioned to let the man make the first move so I tend to wait until he does. Once he does, I continue to let him make all the moves and that's not right or fair. While it boosts my ego and makes me feel wanted, it leaves him feeling like he's not appreciated and eventually he tires of having to make all the effort.

That's something I will definitely work on in the future. It is challenging and requires taking the risk of being let down from time to time.... fear of rejection! I like to think I've grown past that but on some level it still effects me.

I believe too that sometimes once the chase is complete and successful that some tend to stop dead in their tracks and get comfortable, thus not working at continuing to keep that spark alive. They are more into the thrill of the chase and stop once they've "captured, so to speak" the one they were interested in. Although that's an entirely different topic and more to do with sustaining the relationship once the relationship is developed.

I've gotten better with being confident enough to initiate, but still struggle with the how much is okay and if he's the one who initiates, at what point to I join in on being the one who says "hey, let's go do something". I tend to freeze up and do nothing, maybe due to insecurities I'm still not aware of. I can see though where that would come across to men that I'm either not interested or that I don't appreciate their efforts... and that's not my intention at all.

Once I'm comfortable and feel secure with that person that all changes, but it takes time which ends up failing before it begins because first impressions make or break whether a relationship or dating partner happens.

Definitely food for thought. Thanks for commenting peggy