I can see where you're coming from. Not all men are like that.

Many are, though.

Personally, I don't initiate contact for that reason. Even during the only one-night stand I ever had, I simply was trying to make the woman feel comfortable. She appeared shy and lonely - out of place in the bar where we were. So I just wanted to make her feel welcome. As it happened, she was only there looking to pick up a guy for sex. It caught me off-guard because I'd never had a woman do that before. So I went along with it.

But the second time a woman tried to pick me up for sex, it just didn't feel right to me. She was very attractive. She was about 20 years older than me, but didn't look it. In the end, it was the age difference and her level of alcohol consumption that made me hesitate.

In both cases though, the woman was very explicit that she wanted sex.

If the woman isn't explicit like that, I'm not even thinking about sex. I'm just trying to talk and get to know her.

And yes, I do believe I had one instance where a woman tried to pick me up for sex but wasn't explicit about it. While I tried chatting with her, she must have lost interest.

Her subtleties and innuendos went right over my head. Even if she had come right out and said it, I wouldn't have been interested. I had a long day. My mind was elsewhere. I simply wouldn't have enjoyed it, no matter how good she might have been.

Point is, I'm using my own experiences to demonstrate the fact that not all men are like that.

Maybe I'm just an exception to the rule, but I've known a fair number of men who are the same as I am.

It's never mattered to me. Two people are attracted and they get together or not. At least one needs to be observant and both receptive. Personally, I don't worry about whether or not sex is in the offing or what the outcome of the encounter will be.

I like connecting with people and since women are really far superior to men it almost every way, I really like connecting with women. If she makes it clear that she wants to know me, how effing awesome is that?

Thanks Geezer... good to see you again

Very wise words... I think sometimes we make too much out of something simple and need to just relax and go with the flow.

Kind of a catch 22, if men make the first move women think they only want sex... if a woman makes the first move the men think they just want sex..

I don't really agree Cat. I'm sure there are some out there that think that way, and vice versa.. but just from what I'm hearing in this thread, most of the men aren't thinking that way. They are saying they would actually like the woman to show them some attention and let them know she's interested.

I'm sure they aren't. And I'm sure men like having their thoughts and feelings acknowledged just like women do.

Thank you for your comments.

I do not agree. Woman should not be afraid to make the first move. They need to kick the tires so to speak more often. Sometimes you just have to kiss a few frogs to get to the prince. Do nothing and nothing happens.

If you think about it...
Men stay fertile (in most cases) until they die. A man can sire a child when he is 90 years old.
On the flip-side.
Women are fertile for a limited time during their lifetime.
Can a woman bear a child when she is 90 years old?

In this sense, men have a different take on sex than women.
Men produce billions of potential children but women have a limited number of potential children.
Thus, women need to be much more selective when it comes to which man they use their eggs with.
This translates to a selective mindset concerning sex while they are fertile that remains a selective mindset after they survive menopause.

Some men are oblivious to this.
Others take into account the nature of the women's mindset concerning sex and respect her as a person, not a baby machine.

Again, for the woman to make the first move, they must choose wisely to go after the right man for her.

In any intimate relationship sex is usually a topic for consideration.
The correct man, will know that sex doesn't need to be the focus of the relationship.
If the woman makes the first move with the right man, sex will still be part of the relationship but it will have different importance in that relationship.

Thanks Tom, that's interesting. I didn't know that men could sire a child at that age.

I agree with you, if he is the correct man then sex won't be the primary focus, it will be a part of the relationship and something that happens as a result of the relationship growing and becoming more intimate.

Not 90 but James Doohan had a kid at age 79.



Born - James Montgomery Doohan
March 3, 1920
Died - July 20, 2005 (aged 85)

http://nypost.com/2000/02/04/scotty-to-be-a-beaming-dad-at-79/

~ wiki

Just because its possible, personally, I don't think its fair to the child.
I was born when my dad was 49. Being a steel worker his health was failing at 55 when he retired. My dad was sick for most of my life with him. He died at 72 from pneumonia complications. He was born in 1912.

Even tho I can still fertilize an egg, I do not want to.
My children were born while I was in my 20s and I was able to be energetic and active with them. Something my dad couldn't do with me.

Sounds like that was pretty tough Tom. My grandmother had children young but she had meniere's disease so spent most of her time laying down.

I never had a problem making a first move, if I am truly interested in a Man.

I let them know, then leave the rest to Him. I don't like chasing. When I first meet any man.

I did chase someone After we dated a few months, then I changed my mind and I moved on. He still had an interest. I am Hard to please.

Later I felt maybe I would go back to him but Now he is not interested. He was a good man. I think he still is, that was years ago.

That's cool Toody.

Too bad about the one that lost interest. Maybe his ego was just crushed and he didn't want it to get crushed again. I do believe things happen for a reason, so there's someone even better out there for you.

Meh, it is what it is.

The thing is, when a man has raised a family and understands the complexities of age and being there for their children, priorities sometimes change from reproduction to compatibility and the union of two people.

I am no longer driven by a need to reproduce because I have already do that. This allows me to understand and embrace the other aspects of man/woman relationships that don't focus on sex.

Some men have this wisdom at an early age but some may never gain this wisdom for any number of reasons.

If sex is your primary mission for chasing men, nearly any men will do.
If it is beyond the sex, you need to observe the men you think might be worthy of chase to see if they have the right motivations for entering into a relationship with you.

Then there is the whole deception act that men play to get you to bed so ya gotta understand the personailty traits that those men possess.
Then you can make a wise decision on who you should or shouldn't chase.
Obeservation of your target is very important.

I think you're right River about him, we didn't meet on any Site.
And I know a lot about him .

Anyway I am still open for love.

I wonder how much of that drive and deception with them has to do with primal instincts. Is it the urge to procreate or are they just horny bastards?

Lol, I'm sure a little of both. Nothing wrong with being horny and wanting to enjoy sex, just be honest about it. There are women and men out there that are okay with just that, so there's no need to deceive a woman in order to get it. That part just doesn't make sense to me.

That's great Toody... I hope it shows up in your life someday

Thanks River

Best to you and You know!

THIS ^...

If that is what someone wants...good on 'em...to each their own.

Just be *honest* and upfront with the other person about it....don't coerce someone into something by deceit and fakery.
And then make fun of them because they "took things too seriously"...

Yes bluegrass I agree! Unfortunately there are both men and women who do the deceiving. So what Tom said about observing really is important to do. If we pay attention and keep our own honesty in check I believe we have less of a chance of being deceived.

I know for me I can usually sense when someone's being dishonest. But I fool myself into believing they aren't... that's where self honesty and reality checks come in.

Like what I will like to know