Nevermind... what I wrote here is for another thread...

I understand that.
I too would like to do a formal date again before I am completely unable.

Being on fixed income makes my idea of a formal date impossible tho.
Being limited by my health as well.

We can go to dinner at a nice restaurant, go see a movie, browse a museum and stuff like that but to me, to do it right, requires money and vitality that I no longer possess.

Dinner at a 'normal' restaurant in this area runs $28-$40 per plate, not counting drinks, appetizers and dessert. I am unable, financially, to drop $100 on food that I will barely eat (due to my health).

I love to dance but I can't dance anymore due to my failing health.
I love to check out museums but I can't stay on my feet for the time it takes to tour one.
My wardrobe has morphed into practicality and while I have clean, 'nice' clothes they are no longer stylish or image enhancing.
I can't afford to go buy a new wardrobe for a 'date'.


I do that just hanging out together. She constantly tells me I make her feel special, warm and wanted. Its SOP (standard operating procedure) when I care for someone.


Oh Lordy, I don't.
I don't have the gumption I had when I was younger.
I'm actually pretty content with doing what I'm able to do.
Sometimes, I'm happy just to be able to poop normal.

The thing is, right now, the woman I'm seeing understands my limitations and is happy just being in my company and I hers.
We go do things together and have fun.
Its much, much better than being alone and contented with the mundane.
When my health hits me hard, she seems to understand.
Whether or not she continues to have that understanding has yet to be experienced.
Its only been a lil over a month.

The fact that she is willing to come here and sit on my porch or watch a movie with me when I'm having a bad health day, is significant to me.
She doesn't press the 'date'.
She tells me the 'dating' is not as important as being with me.
She has been telling me she loves me since the day I met her.
While I love a lot of the things she does and how she acts while in my company, I reserve my proclamation of love because once I shout it out, I will stand by it.
I figure it should take about 6 months at our present relationship to know if I love her for real.
Till then, she understands (she says).
I know she already wants to move in with me but I tell her no, not yet, lets see how our relationship develops.

So yes, I am undateable.
Yes, I am weird.
Yes, I am a POS.
Yes, I think I found someone that doesn't care about all that.

@ Tom... That is so awesome and I'm happy for you. I hope she keeps sticking around.

I get what you're saying and a part of me feels the same way when it comes to dating. With me though, I'm not into the kind of dates where he takes me out to a restaurant and drops loads of money... that does not impress me and I don't see any purpose in that. Don't get me wrong, I like going out for dinner, but on special occasions or once in a while.

My idea of a perfect date is him taking me to places I've never been and exploring... only costs gas in the vehicle and we can either pack a picnic or stop at the little spots along the way and sample the hometown cuisine of that area. Stop along the beach and go for a walk, find seashells and splash in the water... just a little if it's freezing, lol.

Stopping in the little downtown areas along our sightseeing adventure, taking a short hike through the woods along the river, just heading out for the day and being spontaneous... although if he has an inkling for things I really like and plans to fit that in during our adventure... that would give me even more of an oh so wonderful feeling.

That if done right doesn't cost very much money at all. And if driving is not an option, then going on a picnic along a nearby river is very sweet as well.

Winter is really no different, just need to keep a little warmer... Sleigh rides are something I've yet to experience on a date, I've only gone by myself and with family.

Doing that kind of stuff would be a perfect date for me

So basically, that's what I call just hanging out together and enjoying each other's company.
Not really what I would call a date?
What you describe is just normal living. Experiencing life.

I like science fiction because I enjoy the feeling of 'wonder'.
When I see that on the face of someone I care for, it gives me a good feeling so I constantly try to broaden their horizons and mine too.

In St Louis, Grant's Farm used to offer winter sleigh rides at night pulled by their Clydesdale team. The X and I had a very romantic December evening one year like that, then walked to a local Irish Pub for a hot spiced cider and ale.
While I did plan it, she had no idea what we were doing till we did it.
We didn't dress up, we just had some fun.

I've stopped the car on a country road, got out, walked to the ditch and sat in front of horses at the fence line and told my family to join me. We sat and talked, unplanned and unhurried and my kids remember that as something significant but I used to do that on my own too.
I've even sat and talked with cows.
But, I'm weird.

When I was younger and could, I'd stop and go climb a tree just to climb it. I see it as experiencing life.

One thing she really loves is my spontaneity.
Like when I suddenly pull over on the highway, get out of the truck, walk around the back and open her door and plant a passionate kiss on her lips, close her door, walk around the front, get back in and continue on my merry way, never uttering a word.
The first time I did it she had such a cute expression on her face.
She asked me what THAT was for, I replied, I just wanted to.
Now, she just shivers with happiness gets giddy.
I pay attention to the people I care for.

Well if going on a date means having to go to some silly restaurant and get interrupted by a server every 10 minutes, eating food that is ridiculously expensive and listening to background music that you didn't choose... Then forget it, I don't want to date!





Guess we all have different ideas of what a perfect date would be. My idea of one is just ordinary living to someone else. That's okay.

You've been blessed Tom with a woman who feels as you do and that's really cool. Something to cherish and not take for granted... Enjoy your time with her.

Me, I'll wait for that dude that wants to take me to the little towns and pick out cool candies and find neat little things along the way. For me, that's not normal life because I've seldom ever done those things. For me, it's a special day out enjoying the company of a nice man.

Or perhaps just start with coffee

I choose to think of it as a conscious choice from being patient and knowing what I'm looking for.


Well, If you find him and are in the area someday, maybe we can go on a double "date" and experience life without script.

I know where you can get fresh saltwater taffy and other confections made for you while you wait. I also know a place that makes their ice cream each day that has old fashioned waffle cones freshly baked.
There's also a shop where you can make your own daiquiris with or without alcohol.
Plus, there's a community greenhouse, model railroad museum and a retro toy museum.
There's even an old style pharmacy with a soda fountain to get a fresh egg cream or banana vanilla coke in a frosted mug.
Thanksgiving night there is a Festival of Lights walk in Gulfport.

Sounds great Tom... Or we could just hang out and have a bbq. That would be fun!

You should see what I can do with...TONGS

That's one lucky woman you have in your life

Yeah, everytime I get around a BBQ grill I get...wait for it...TONGulitis.

You underestimate yourself Rosie. There are guys out there who see the lady for who she is, who see beyond a sickness whatever it is. I am one of those. Rest assured Rosie, I still want to drive to Canada to meet you and take you to dinner. You are only 300+ miles from me and that is not even as much as I take on road trips.

Well what are ya waiting for Poetry, start packing and go take rosie out to dinner

I already told her I wanted to go up and meet her in the Spring. You also but I don't know where you will be in the Spring.

I'm pretty sure I'll be here in Colorado until May... I was ready to leave yesterday, but some of that was emotionally driven decisions from being sick and not getting any sleep...

If it changes, I'll let you know. And it's always possible that I can travel to you instead, we could go on a road trip.

Aww so sweet of you Poetry. Although I am not making long term plans (spring seems a lifetime away for me) I appreciate your kindness.

May is Spring so when that time gets closer just let me know if you know where you may be. And road trips are always an idea for me, but no where that involves wearing shorts. My legs have not seen the sun in 40 years and are whiter than this chat screen. Not a pretty sight.

Right on, girl. 1st hubby was iffy, I just got out of high school
2nd, I knew the day I met him I HAD to have him... right now, I'm on vacation looking for a coffee partner.

I wish the three of us could go to dinner one day, river. Poetry's treat of course.

I wouldn't have it any other way Rosie.

Yes, definitely his treat!

I would love it if we could do that too rosie. And maybe that'll be possible some day