You're welcome! I've had some of those feelings as well from time to time.

And recently with taking that risk only to find friendship instead of love...

I think it's like what delightful and others say about what we're projecting.

When I'm "too eager", that tends to turn men off. When I'm feeling needy, I tend to attract men who want to coddle me to the point that I want to puke or they are needy themselves. When I'm scared deep inside, I have a wall up and that projects "Come here... NO GO BACK!!" which attracts men initially but not those who'll commit.

It does bother me sometimes when I hear others say "What you put out there is what you get back" because that's not always the case. Being self confident and "ready" doesn't necessarily mean you're going to attract someone right away. I think it just means that when you do, it will be someone that is more deserving of you and that matches with you in a healthier/better way.

Thank you for your post, it's helped me sort through some of the same thoughts and feelings I've had.

I agree, when you're raising a family things are and need to be different.

Re: JBH

The world of dating has changed since most of us here were growing up. They way the younger generations go about is different. Of course, that also means some of those habits/practices are going to spill over and filter down into older generations as well.

It's much like job hiring. That too has changed. For those of us who are used to filling out paper applications and meeting an owner/manager in person prior to the interview, the newer way is baffling, and requires us to adjust.

The dating world has become the same way. The old methods aren't readily accepted anymore. For many, they are actually a turn-off. So, we have to adapt, which isn't easy because learning something new later in life is often confusing. We have to abandon what we thought we knew.

The world has been becoming a more impersonal place.

I would much rather meet someone in person than resort to online dating sites or apps. I would rather *talk* on the phone than text back and forth. I would rather have a cup of coffee, go have dinner or see a movie, or go for a walk along the beach. Getting to that point these days feels like pulling teeth sometimes.

What I'm saying is, I can relate to what you were saying. I find it frustrating too, even though I'm about 10 years younger.

I think I have been undateable at times , because I have ran men away.

They say I am mean sometimes.: I drill them about everything !

I've never took myself out of dating but there has been long stretches in between some dates. . Actually I have had activities partners lately.

I don't believe in dating a Man FWB thing. I require a Commitment. Online
Men are unpredictable. No Morals . Flirt online then date in their own city and around their neighborhoods.

I have had several dates from other Relationship Paid sites.

So I am willing. to Wait.on a good gentleman.

RE: Action

A lot of good points Action, I agree, it does seem like the world is becoming more impersonal. I actually feel that here at my work place. It's not like the other Y I was at.

But as far as the dating world, in all the places I've been over the last year, I've seldom seen anyone venture out by themselves. A lot of couples, or groups of friends. And people really hesitate to say hi when passing you by.

I found that especially so in Boston, very impersonal and no one looked each other in the eye. Other places in New England were pretty friendly though.

Seems like the traditional way of meeting and dating are gone, but perhaps not.

Thanks Toody for sharing. I've chased men away too in the past. I tend to be a little emotional and I think that scares some of them. Those that are friends and stick around realize I'm not a basket case, just overly emotional during certain times... like when I'm over tired and sick... a little more so if I'm both over tired and sick.

I like the idea of an activity partner... I see that more as just going out with friends, usually of the opposite sex... someone you're not exclusively dating or being sexually intimate with.

The way they go about finding dates is different. However, dating itself hasn't really changed all that much. Boy meets girl. Sometimes one likes the other. Sometimes neither like each other. Sometimes they both like each other. Good lord, you complicate this $h!t soooo much. You bring way too much unnecessary crap into the mix. It's not rocket surgery.

Rocket science lol

felt undateable? no

unwilling to yes

but mostly desperately looking for the magic trinket to avoid the she doesn't like him or the he doesn't like her stops on the way to they like each other

and jbh i'd much rather attempt rocket surgery than brain science

I said what I meant to say.

Yes, I'd like one of those magic trinkets too

Thanks for sharing Eric

Actually, I'm just going by how the younger people explained it to me and their parents.

They don't go out on "dates" or ask each other out. They just hangout together. If something happens, it happens.

But that's not way I was taught when I was younger. So I have to go through deprogramming in order to adapt. That's the hard part.

That would go along with what I've been seeing as far as either couples or groups out socializing.

So to keep it simple... join a social group and go hang out

That seems to be how it's working now a days, so rather than trying something that no longer works well, do what works.

Easy peasy!

Topic: Have you ever felt...



If you provide a good DNA sample, then a scientist should be able to use radio-carbon testing to determine your . . .

Oh wait. This isn't the science forum.



As for me, the only way I'll ever again have a date is if I buy a bag of them from a grocery store.

Thank you, River.

Eberday eberday

you're welcome David

Well I say we get out the lassos and go catch some of these fools that are causing us to feel this way...

and tickle them until they come to their senses

Lemme get muh spurs and feathers