I see profile's from a woman that won't give the time of day to a poor message like "hello hot stuff" or just Hi, which is fair enough. But, is it me or do some other women want to receive more than one message from a guy before they'll respond back. But still not getting anywhere even then, though

On this website, no response is a response.

Its best to hound them with 20-30 messages until they threaten to report you.

Then you have their attention

It is a sign of the person's character if they ignore a well-written and sincere message..
(obviously this does NOT apply to scammers or guys sending copy-pasted messages to hundreds of women)

It takes less than 60 seconds to simply type a "thanks, not interested".
Now, if the guy won't take a simple, polite "thanks, but not interested" and continous to bother her...that's when he gets reported.

If a person is the kind of inconsiderate person that can't manage to write back a thanks, but no message...I consider that a bullet dodged, as they clearly never mentally left Jr High, when people played such games...and can imagine they'd be no better at communication in a relationship.
I perfer a mature adult who can communicate like a grownup...

If a guy messages me, and I see nothing on his profile that interests me...I say just that..simple...
It's all about treating people with respect and courtesy.

It has nothing to do with character or inconsideration,
and everything to do with sheer volume.

When I started way back when I got 200-300 emails a day,
add to that Nudges and Friend Requests and you can see
the issue..carpal tunnel trying to respond.

Then, if you reply back you cannot get rid of them, as you
are probably the only one doing so.

Thrown in that mix are those who attack when you do not respond,
'Too good for little old me are you?' With all the attendant cussing.

So, NO answer is indeed the answer.
Simpler, no hurt feelings.

*Now, I only get maybe 20 emails a day (keeping an unfinished profile
is supposed to help) and stating lack of interest on the profile
simply means they do not read it.

So, my suggestion to you OP, is NEVER send a second email, particularly
as it shows all your earlier ones which did no good.

Find a good/great starter line, an attention-grabber, sincere,
and not sounding like you have sent it to 500 women.

I personally don't have that kind of problem
what can I say ? I'm good looking

I will reply if I like the man's profile. I don't think a hi or hello is really a good first message.But I have answered a few After I read and LIKED their profile.

Each woman is different. Answering for just ME !

This is what I do. Weeds out the sc&mmers and vulgar ones. I delete, or block, the messages without answering.

Soufiehere said:

"When I started way back when I got 200-300 emails a day,
add to that Nudges and Friend Requests and you can see
the issue..carpal tunnel trying to respond."

That's funny...
I have NEVER got more than 10 a day..and THOSE are from scammers when I forget to set my distance to "within 100 miles" or whatever.

If they are obviously a scammer (I can easily tell the difference)..then, no..they don't deserve a reply, just block & delete..

But if they are a sincere, real person...especially if they wrote more than "hi"...I always reply..

And, if they then get hateful/ snotty/ abusive...that's when they are reported, blocked..problem solved.

I think you can only send 3 messages to a member and if you didn't get
a reply back, you get locked out... meaning you cannot send this member
more emails until they reply. Good system, don't you think?

Anyway, no reply means not interested... so move on.

Hummm maybe you never got that many but I can bet without my filters set and some of the programs they put in to keep some from sending mass e-mails I have gotten at least 100 a day in the past...

Did I answer them all no...my profile states local or nothing therefore I feel if they actually read it they would know...

So no reply is as good as a reply~~

I see profile's from a woman that won't give the time of day to a poor message like "hello hot stuff" or just Hi, which is fair enough. But, is it me or do some other women want to receive more than one message from a guy before they'll respond back. But still not getting anywhere even then, though


I think you can only send 3 messages to a member and if you didn't get
a reply back, you get locked out... meaning you cannot send this member
more emails until they reply. Good system, don't you think?

Anyway, no reply means not interested... so move on.



On the Uk site, I believe it's 5 messages you can send out without reply, which stops pestering by one towards another.

I think the blonde lady's right, It's must be sheer volume that prevents a sound and good honest message from getting zip in return. I'm not the best author in the world but I never ever a single or double worded send to any one. but the lady who makes the point that some may get away with it if you've put some good effort into a profile page.

Thanks for all your responses so far :-)

No, it isn't a sign of immaturity to decide not to reply to a message sent by a complete stranger.

The fact that one person always replies doesn't mean that everyone is obligated to reply.

One doesn't have the right to dictate how others respond to a message sent by a complete stranger.

If another person doesn't reply to a message that you sent, then the problem is yours, not the other person's.

You've just said it!!!

And, we are all different..feel differently, and what you think and feel is correct for you...
But, one size doesn't fit all/ doesn't apply to everyone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Peace, love, and cinnmon rolls to you...

I tend to agree with these points.
There are two points that have great wisdom...
I perfer a mature adult who can communicate like a grownup
&
It's all about treating people with respect and courtesy.


I think it might be prudent for the OP to look at the messages he is sending.
"Hi" is a greeting that is usually followed by a body of contextual subjects.
I guess they stopped teaching letter writing 101 in school?
Substituted with Text Speak 101?

Another thing, women are people, not possessions.
Consider how your message might make her feel.

As far as I'm concerned, you should read their profile and find commonalities and mention those commonalities.
But, I am looking for a relationship and not everyone is.
Its probably a good idea to know what it is you are looking for in a woman before you make contact with her. Then, if her profile is in alignment with you, act accordingly.

As for the reply, no reply is an answer. It does help to note when they were last onsite. If they haven't been seen in over a month, chances are you are contacting a ghost.


You have been a member since Fri 09/27/13. You posted this thread Tue 08/21/18. It took you 5 years to have this quandary? How many messages have you missed in 5 years? How many have you ignored in 5 years?

Cinnamon rolls!!!!
Yummmmmm

I don't reply either. At first I always did if I felt the message was genuine. But 9 out of 10 times when you say a polite not interested, the man doesn't give a toss about your message and treats it as if he's finally caught a fish and starts talking to you as if I'd said I was interested?
Even if you then tell him a 2nd time you are not interested, they still go on as if you were interested.
So... I stopped replying, too much hassle. Now I just delete. Not because I am not polite, but because how men themselves behave when you are polite. On very rare occasion men thanked me for at least responding.

Also, these days you can barely get to your mail box because Mingle makes it VERY difficult when you use AdBlocker. And I will NOT disable it. I've tried to allow this site, but that doesn't work either.
And going on Mingle without AdBlocker... The amount of ads is insane, and all are naked women and sex ads.
I don't need to see that when I go to the forums.

Thing is, when you go to your mailbox, it is almost impossible as you get a popup from Mingle saying "Turn off AdBlocker". You have to be REALLY fast to get to your mail before that f*(king thing shows up.
So possibly many people cannot even be bothered with it anymore.