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| Topic: Buy Me Nice Things and Take Me Places | |
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I would let a guy do that for me as long as im sure its not coming out of my own pocket  it would sure be nice to be spoiled once in a while because you know you are loved so much that the guy wants you to feel like his one and only queen  and also not because he has ulterior motives for doing it lol
Are you home now? 
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I've been thinking about how simple it is to plan a date, if guys just made an effort. Saturday, I took my daughter to green belt and walked. My only cost there was $2.50 to buy her an icecream. Later, we stopped at subway, it cost me about $10. Sunday, I took her to a state park. It was $5 to park. We went swimming. They also have walking trails and fishing. Before we left for the park, I put pork chops in the crockpot. The meal I prepared cost about $10. Guys who can't plan and pay for a simple date, deserve to sit home alone. It is not about planning something or paying for it. There are 2 problems: finding someone willing to go and finding someone who is enjoyable to be with. I think most men are certainly capable of planning and paying for a date. It seems most women are not interested in a date to begin with. |
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I would let a guy do that for me as long as im sure its not coming out of my own pocket it would sure be nice to be spoiled once in a while because you know you are loved so much that the guy wants you to feel like his one and only queen and also not because he has ulterior motives for doing it lol
Are you home now? Yes mbaf hope youre well
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This is how we complement each other, can make each other happy, and create the chemistry that is needed to have a healthy, interdependent relationship. It is sheer primal instincts, meaning hormones AND the way we are Divinely 'engineered' to live and survive and thrive as a species. I cannot agree with this. It is not primal instinct. This is a learned behavior. The most primal of instinct is to procreate. This is why men and women get "baby fever". That has nothing to do with conquering and protecting. Men have left women to tend the household for the majority of history. Women are the protectors, the ones who protected their young while men were away at war. Women are providers (I am not talking financial), the ones who do the majority of the cooking, cleaning, clothing, teaching, soothing? Men have done, for the majority of history, one thing ... provide the means in which a woman can do her thing ... financial support. And many women and men have been taught that this is how things should be. I do not feel I have "masculine" energy because I no longer conform to the above mention ideal. I just feel that by no longer having "baby fever", I can now be my own financial support. I don't need a man to provide for me, but to be my partner .. my equal. Wish more women thought this way. |
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While she's rather bitter towards men, her comment was, that "a girl wants a man that will buy her nice things and take her places".. At my age, I think I agree.
At my age, I am happy that I find a lot of women matured out of that mentality, as a value or driving force in dating, in their early 20's and many have replaced it with "I have learned to find my own purpose, appreciate and value what I have/get, and what is necessary to develop communication in a relationship." "Buy her nice things" simply = "I don't want to/can't learn to communicate in a relationship, I need tokens that represent deeper things. Rather than develop the deeper communications and create tokens of meaning, I want them to just know what tokens will elicit which response from me and know to give me those." "Take her places" simply = more shortcut communication due to a lack of desire or ability to learn to communicate in a relationship. It stems from insecurity. In my experience the women I've dated with the mentality of "a girl wants a man that will buy her nice things and take her places" as a significant driving factor for dating is generally someone that never grew up (vanity/looks/money kept her from having to), or was in an extended marriage. It ended, now they are 20, 30, 40 years older but they didn't really learn anything in the relationship about relationships beyond that 1 relationship, so they're back at the same age they were when they first got married. Kinda like working from stockroom to CEO of general motors, getting fired, looking for a job and the only job available is in a stockroom at Merrill Lynch. |
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simple really
i do. as i can (with in my means) and want to. as soon as it becomes expected i start having a problem with it |
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Buy Me Nice Things and Take Me Places I cannot imagine this scenario. It sets up expectations immediately. On both sides. No thanks. I pay my own way..freeing me to be me. |
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I've been thinking about how simple it is to plan a date, if guys just made an effort. Saturday, I took my daughter to green belt and walked. My only cost there was $2.50 to buy her an icecream. Later, we stopped at subway, it cost me about $10. Sunday, I took her to a state park. It was $5 to park. We went swimming. They also have walking trails and fishing. Before we left for the park, I put pork chops in the crockpot. The meal I prepared cost about $10. Guys who can't plan and pay for a simple date, deserve to sit home alone. It is not about planning something or paying for it. There are 2 problems: finding someone willing to go and finding someone who is enjoyable to be with. I think most men are certainly capable of planning and paying for a date. It seems most women are not interested in a date to begin with. The problem I'm seeing is men who try to plan a date are acting like they've been out to sea for a year. I had planned to meet a guy for lunch. Before the meet he asked me if I'm affectionate. I told him not till I get to know someone. Then the day we were supposed to meet, he starts telling me how attracted he is to me. I cancelled because of the sexual pressure. If he was attracted, he should have put an effort into being charming. Show up to lunch looking and smelling good. Keep the conversation flowing and try to be funny. Walk me to my car after the date. Then call or text that he enjoyed the date and ask me out again. |
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hey ew
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hey ew
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Hmm.
It wasn't specified. Does this have to be nice things that SHE wants, and cool places that she WANTS to be taken to? |
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I found out early in life that "bought friends" are only 'friends' till the money runs out.
I will sit home alone before I will buy friends. Plus, it works both ways. My friendship is not given based on what you buy me. Greed and manipulation is a turn off to me. |
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Edited by
JOHNN111
on
Mon 05/21/18 11:08 AM
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I can spot a perpetual dater from a mile away.
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Hmm. It wasn't specified. Does this have to be nice things that SHE wants, and cool places that she WANTS to be taken to? For my specificies.. nice things for me, nice things for us; nice things for himself; taken somewhere both would enjoy -it doesn’t have to be a tropical paradise vacations..just something or somewhere to go to do things together. Take the initiative to plan outings... not a couch potato.. that being said, what is wrong with travelling here and there? Personally a two month winter vacation in Mexico or somewhere would be nice to miss January and February in my region...I couldn’t have done that when I was younger... too busy raising kids.. I am a widow now and things change..nice things and nice places going forward.. |
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Too many guys looking to get something for nothing. They all want what a woman has to offer but don't want to do anything in return. I just had a guy invite me to go hot tubbing. The hot tub is his exwifes. She will be out of town. To me this was so classless. Classless. Is right! 
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I'd do this, pack your case darling, Ooooo where we going? Any where you like! P##s off! 
So you're not even taking me to Amsterdam? Hotdangit
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My single girlfriend and I were talking the other night. While she's rather bitter towards men, her comment was, that "a girl wants a man that will buy her nice things and take her places".. At my age, I think I agree. Is that what you want? |
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This is how we complement each other, can make each other happy, and create the chemistry that is needed to have a healthy, interdependent relationship. It is sheer primal instincts, meaning hormones AND the way we are Divinely 'engineered' to live and survive and thrive as a species. I cannot agree with this. It is not primal instinct. This is a learned behavior. The most primal of instinct is to procreate. This is why men and women get "baby fever". That has nothing to do with conquering and protecting. Men have left women to tend the household for the majority of history. Women are the protectors, the ones who protected their young while men were away at war. Women are providers (I am not talking financial), the ones who do the majority of the cooking, cleaning, clothing, teaching, soothing? Men have done, for the majority of history, one thing ... provide the means in which a woman can do her thing ... financial support. And many women and men have been taught that this is how things should be. I do not feel I have "masculine" energy because I no longer conform to the above mention ideal. I just feel that by no longer having "baby fever", I can now be my own financial support. I don't need a man to provide for me, but to be my partner .. my equal.
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
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Mon 05/21/18 03:43 PM
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I met a super nice man recently here in town, he has never been married and older gentleman. He has been seeing a woman two yrs he said as friends. When they go placesi it is to a free event. He searches the free paper "Times" to see what's happening places and time.
He said his woman friend calls him her boyfriend.  But he wants to
Know me. He has done this for long time. He says lots to do and have Fun for Free.  Not for me!
Wondered why he never married! He said he never met the right woman. Maybe women like a man to bye them something on a Date.
I was interested but he would have to Change that way of dating!! |
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My single girlfriend and I were talking the other night. While she's rather bitter towards men, her comment was, that "a girl wants a man that will buy her nice things and take her places".. At my age, I think I agree. Are you going to reward your man in a very similar mannor? I alway's thought a relationship is a partership and both partner's are equal in the home's contribution and it's development. |
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