Some say I am indecisive........
I am not sure whether I am or not.........

A wife has been trying to get her husband to cut back on the number of beer cans that he keeps in the fridge. He totally ignores her, and again she tells him to cut back on the cans. For a second time he doesn't do as she asks. Finally when she's had enough, she tells him to cut back to just a can of beer in the fridge or she will leave him. She goes to work and comes home to find her husband watching TV and asks him if he just had a single can of beer n the fridge. He nodded yes. To satisfy her suspicions, she opened the fridge to see for herself. She found a keg in the fridge.

A man walks into a bar and buys a beer. Half way through the beer, he tells the bartender that he will bet him $10 that he can bite his eyeball. Without even thinking the bartender accepts. The man pulls out his glass eye, bites down on it and puts it back. The bartender can't believe he fell for that.
The man then buys a second beer. About halfway through he tells the bartender he will give him a chance to win his money back. He says I'll bet you double or nothing that I can bite my other eyeball. The bartender thinks about it and realized that the man can't have two glass eyes, or else he couldn't have seen his way into the bar. The bartender accepts the bet. The man then takes out his false teeth and presses them down on his other eye. The bartender just can't believe that he's been taken once again.
Finally the man tells the bartender that once again he will give him a chance to win his money back. He tells him to get a glass from below the counter and, at his command, release the glass with a push down the bar and he would run along side the glass as it slid down the bar and he would piss in it without spilling a drop. After losing both bets the bartender had to really think. After a bit he accepted once more.
The man gives the command to push the glass down the bar and the bartender releases it as the man chases it pissing everywhere. The bartender is happy now and laughing. He has won all his money back. So he goes into the back room to get a mop and bucket. Upon coming back out with the mop he notices the man standing at a table where two other men were counting out money to him.
The bartender asked what was going on and the man turned to him and said he bet these guys $500 each that he could piss all over the place and that you wouldn't do anything about it except laugh and clean it up.

Crazy businessman frantically arranges a race.

Race as follows:
there is a long lake. And this lake is full of crocodiles. the winners will win the race when they pass this crocodile lake.

businessman takes the microphone to tell the competition and calls out to the crowd who gives his ears carefully:
if who passes this lake, his heir has got $ 2 million in reward.
If the lake does not pass,
$ 5 million to the heir.

a man shouts to a lake for the lake when the business man recounts them: who pushed me over here.

a lady's voice is heard through the big crowd:









my darling, your wife.

Funny

Thought it was the Baptist cowboy. New city cowboy orders TRESE CERVEZA s for the back, server walks back, you know I'm gonna be there all nig??? Bartender points, cowboy sys he has 2 brothers n moving away they made a pact, every sun. 3 Brett. Time goea by. Baptist cowboy, everybody knewm he ordered two apologies, huh? Oh no no we joined local church,had to quit drinkin but it ain't effected my brothers none lol. Cold beer gather round, I got a story, let me tell u how , no WHY u dnt tell a black joke in the dark, gnna end Bruh or caus, sorry"I didt d c him"

An Irishman lies Dying
His wife is by his bedside.

He says in a weakened voice "There is something i must confess"
Sushhh said the wife " There is nothing to confess"

She hold his hand and caresses his head
" Everything is all right" she whispers.
"NO"! the husband replied" I must die in peace...I has sex with your sister,
Your best friend, her best friend, and your best friends mum.

" I know" she whispered
" That is why I poison you. Now close your eyes.

I Have 3 jokes !


Joke,joke,joke

lmao douglas