Hi. Anyone out there have any advice on this. My ex broke it off a few weeks ago. I initiated contact. He talk and message each other everyday but are not in a relationship. We don't see each other but he wants us to be best friends. He still wants to have control without the commitment

Sweetie dont let him get to you. Do what you think is right. Sorry but what did u mean by "he still wants to have control without the commitment?"

If you can handle being friends with your ex so soon after breaking up...
But I think the smarter thing to do is to sever all ties, especially since you say he is controlling you.
He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, then what does he want? Let him go, cut him loose. I don't think this situation will benefit you, it will however hinder you in getting over him and in finding new love when you are ready again.

Sounds to me that he still wants to be friends that still screw. Do the right thing and sever the ties that bind.

He wants to know what I'm doing where I'm going . He got upset when I went out. He wants to know my whereabouts and act like we are in a relationship without actually being in one. He knows I love and care about him but I realize it's time for me to move on. He called several times a day to check up on me and his is not helping the situation.

I agree with you. Thanks for he advice. He calls and still says he loves me, miss me and how much he appreciates me. He's making it so hard.

My ex broke it off a few weeks ago. I initiated contact.

Why? Because you still want him in your life?
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He talk and message each other everyday but are not in a relationship.

Yea, you are. You are just not getting anything out of it.
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We don't see each other but he wants us to be best friends.

Sure he does, easier to keep tabs and track.
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He still wants to have control without the commitment

Exactly.
And you are use to that.

He does not like to reason. Whenever we had an argument, the first option is to call off the relationship. It's as if the relationship meant nothing

Yes I wanted him in my life but after going though so much hurt and pain for several weeks, I gave up hope on us ever getting back together. It's for the best.

Better he tells you now than 10 years down the line and 3 kids later.
Honesty can have its rewards.

Never hurts to remain friends..best friends..not so much.

I beg to differ on the remaining friends bit ... I know for some it works, it all just depends on the relationship you had and on how you split up.
If a guy is controlling, I don't see how remaining friends can be good.
It will hurt. Remaining friends can make it difficult to let go, meaning you cannot move on, not get over it and not get ready to find new love in time. I think especially women can find it difficult to remain friends and to really let go and move on at the same time. Being friends will make it too easy to latch on to hope of getting back together.

Nice reply. I appreciate that attitude

I like that

agree

ask yourself why would he be calling you so much?

what is he getting out of this?


maybe he just wants you to listen to him

ya know a captive audience

does he have purely selfish motives?

These are great points to consider. I wish I had the answers

It is always best to take the high road in these type situations. I suggest inviting him for dinner as a new " freind". Eat , talk and laugh abit.. enjoy the company.

Then serve him the chocolate cake and coffee for desert, of course the cake was made with exlax.

You see, nothing beats revenge.. nothing ;)

Lol! Now that cruel to say the least

I think you still love him to let him control your relationship and keep your communication to each other. Consider our advice but still up to you to decide of, what to do with this situation you are in.

you do have the answers. ...you just don't want to believe them.

Let go, run fast, if you're Not in a relationship. .why is it his business thst you went out?...it's not.

You are still giving him everything he wants, while sacrificing your own happiness.

There are certain benefits one gets as a reward for being in a relationship.

Don't give him the benefits without the relationship. ...you're worth more.

if you so want him back, still giving him what he wants without the relationship is a sure way to make sure that Doesn't happen.


think about it like a job, if you quit your job and your boss continued to pay you, even if you didn't go to work in hopes that would lure you to go back to work? Would you, I mean why choose to work if you're going to get paid regardless. ...?

But if the boss stops paying you, you may start missing that paycheck and decide the work is worth the reward...

again don't give him the reward without the work

fantastic ^^^^