It confuses me. Why don't men see that a long term relationship is the definition of marriage. Why the refusal to marry? OK, they don't want to lose half their stuff again in a divorce. That was then, what's now is the woman often has the same amount of monetary wealth as he does and brings that into the marriage - which is off limits for sharing (in Ontario, anyways, where I live). So what's the big deal about remarrying?

Indeed, what is the big deal about marrying? Why do you have the need to be married? Being 'married' doesn't assure anything.. If you have your own house, and he has his own house..you cut your grass, he cuts his...have your get togethers a couple 3 - 4 times a week; you have a couple days to yourself.. that seems perfect to me..women need to be more independent and comfortable in their own skin/environment..develop a life.
just sayin.. after my first cup of coffee of the day.

Whooops, wrong room, looking for Divorce recovery meeting? Been a member for 10 years!

Well here in the States I notice a lot of younger guys in their 30's are divorced. Guess it's not a good time to be married.

think a lot of women who have been married

tend to not want to walk down the aisle again

if as in my own case, they were married to a
controlling manipulative A******

mmmmm...I tend to value this hard earned freedom


guys that made that commitment once upon a time

but lost their spouse, the house and most of the savings


may also not want to try that fun again

I'm not against marrying again....but I am against being with a woman who has marriage on her mind from the outset.
Hey, we're just getting to know each other...maybe we'll get to marriage, maybe we won't....just don't push it. Desperation is not attractive to me.

As far as that "losing half" thing goes.... no biggie, they're signing a prenup if they're marrying me

For me, the question of remarrying has nothing at all to do with the woman and I.

What bugs me, is that I learned the hard way, that marriage means double or more, the amount of government interference in my life.

I agree Reb. Cause if a gal is like, no matter what... We're getting hitched. Take the time to know the other person. Live with them for a while. If your older, your gonna be rushing things. Wait. Who needs another divorce with a fickle woman?

I'm in no desperate hurry to marry again - just saying that I'd like to be married again. Let me get to know you first and see if we have similar philosophies in life. I'm very much for taking my time to get to know someone first and see if we're compatible. You can be a great person but still not mesh with my life values and experiences - and that's fine.

To me marriage means you have the commitment to a person to stay with them in sickness and in health, not just the good times. I will stick around and push your wheelchair for you.

men want sex a lot longer than women pro age so they use the word relationship

Re-marrying is not totally out of the question for me....if the sweet and sexy woman, can come to the table with matching assets etc....yup, I aint ready to lose half of my 25 % I came away with first time around....I am a giver as you can see....But honestly, I have not come across any woman , so far, who can do that....and that is beginning to bother me...Dang I gave the ex way too much.....but I am the happy one today....ha ha!!!

Ugh, what kind of a life together is that? If I'm in love with someone I want to be with them all the time, not just at 'nookie' time. It's called sharing your life with someone. You can still have your own interests and friends.

I thought marriage meant commitment not so in my view if two people are meant for each other being married will not add to any security more love etc both being on the same page and allowing that there will be differences in thinking thinking and actions mutual respect and trust speak volumes being married doesn't guarantee anything in my view or experience nor either party having set expectations about each other.

when I walked down the aisle at 23
before God and family
marriage was supposed to be a union ..
a commitment made to each other
to love, honor, cherish
sickness and in health
this union was recognized by the church
and it was a legally binding contract

the two shall become one
and a family shall be created from this union
these vows taken were supposed to lived daily
to remain solely onto each other
til do us part..

it is what was said

unfortunately..it was not so lasting


now..what happened next was a pain in the butt
that involved lawyers, paperwork and dividing
up twenty years worth of accumulated assetts

Seems to me that what you are describing is not really a marriage,but a permanent dating status.When I was married,my wife and I enjoyed each others company,and we never argued.We laughed,joked around,made decisions,had open discussions,and pretty much did most things together...except shopping..I am not very good at shopping,and she liked to shop,so she did most of that.
I think that it's important that you enjoy each others company,and share common interests,or at least don't have a conflict if there are differences in opinions.
A good relationship to me is not a needy one,or a dependent one,but one with mutual respect,and an understanding of each other.
Giving emotional support when needed,making financial decisions,and laughing at a silly joke,are some things, among others, that make a marriage complete,and doing that from a distance,lacks the personal touch that being together can make complete...

Who has been married and divorced at least twice here? I could care less about getting married the second time, but she pushed for it, telling me all of the benefits that would come of it. Bullsh.t, even with a pre-nup she suckered me out of a sports car and rental house. Just because she felt it would be better if I bought and put them in her name only. Sneaky, sh.it she was. Found out she is now doing the same thing to her new hubby, guess if the MO works the first and second time, why not try a third.

But back to this subject, the benefits of being married just don't seem to be there anymore, as least that's my opinion on the subject.

If you get the Milk for free... Why buy the cow???

and on the other hand ... why buy the pig if the sausage is free?

I personally would not marry again. It is just too hard and too expensive to untangle from