Ugh, what kind of a life together is that? If I'm in love with someone I want to be with them all the time, not just at 'nookie' time. It's called sharing your life with someone. You can still have your own interests and friends.

I'm in no desperate hurry to marry again - just saying that I'd like to be married again. Let me get to know you first and see if we have similar philosophies in life. I'm very much for taking my time to get to know someone first and see if we're compatible. You can be a great person but still not mesh with my life values and experiences - and that's fine.

To me marriage means you have the commitment to a person to stay with them in sickness and in health, not just the good times. I will stick around and push your wheelchair for you.

It confuses me. Why don't men see that a long term relationship is the definition of marriage. Why the refusal to marry? OK, they don't want to lose half their stuff again in a divorce. That was then, what's now is the woman often has the same amount of monetary wealth as he does and brings that into the marriage - which is off limits for sharing (in Ontario, anyways, where I live). So what's the big deal about remarrying?

I, also, am having trouble with the "Rate Your Matches" feature at the bottom of my page - in the Mutual Matches box. I have 24 people who said yes to me, so am assuming that these are the people I'm being asked to Match with?

But I'm being Matched with men in their 20s, 30s, and 40s when I am 60 years old, and have indicated that I'm interested in men between 55 and 65.

Surely all the men who said Yes to me aren't that much younger than I am??

I hate the coffee get together! How hard can it be to chit chat for an hour or so with someone you've messaged on this site?

Perfectly willing to pay my own bill to go for a meal or to the farmer's market and check out the produce - anything but another cup of coffee!!!!!

Thanks, guys, for confirming that not all guys are jerks - appreciate it! Boy, it sure is discouraging sometimes! I imagine the sword cuts both ways & you guys get dissed sometimes, as well?

A good reminder to us all to look more than skin deep; look at a person's humanity and innate goodness. Then that person becomes very beautiful / handsome to YOU.

Best of luck to us all!

I came across this true post in the Huffington Post just now. She is the same age I am. She is 5'9" and 135lb. I am 5'4 and way more than 135 lbs. The man she's talking about made her feel like dirt for being 'old' - he is 4 years younger than her. Please tell me his attitude is abnormal!

Naked, I stood at the closet doors with the lights on and made myself ready. I took a deep breath and positioned the mirrors so I could see all of me. I consciously worked to remove my self-believed inner image. I opened my eyes and looked very carefully at my body. And my heart lurched at the truth: I am not a young woman anymore. I am a woman well-lived. My body tells of all the years she has carried my spirit through life.

I am a 59-year-old woman in great health and in good physical shape. I stand five-feet, nine-inches tall and weigh 135 pounds. I wear a size six in both jeans and panties, and my breasts are nowhere near my navel. In fact, they still struggle to make it full-up in a B-cup bra. My thighs are no longer velvet and my buttocks have dimples. My upper arms wobble a bit and my skin shows the marks of the sun. There is a softness around my waist that is no longer perfectly taut, and the pout of my abdomen attests to a c-section that took its bikini flatness -- but gave me a son.

Why this brutal scrutiny of myself? It was time to counter the damage of my culture, my own soft-held fear and to pour warm love on my own soul. It was time to claim every mark and not-perfect inch of my own body -- a body that had been called "too wrinkled" by a man who was fetched by my energy and my mind, but did not like the bare truth of me. His name was Dave and he was 55 years old.

We met on a dating site. Dave was interesting, gentlemanly and bright. He held my hand and toured with me on long bicycle rides. He drove many miles to come to my door. He made meals for us both and ruffled my dog's happy head. I was enticed and longed for the full knowing of this man. And so, we planned a weekend together. That's when things got confusing, unspoken and just-not-quite there. We went to bed in a couple's way -- unclothed and touching -- all parts near. Kisses were shared and sleep came in hugs. I attempted more intimacy throughout the weekend and was deterred each time.

On Monday evening over the phone, I asked this man who had shared my bed for three nights running why we had not made love. "Your body is too wrinkly," he said without a pause. "I have spoiled myself over the years with young women. I just can't get excited with you. I love your energy and your laughter. I like your head and your heart. But, I just can't deal with your body."

I was stunned. The hurt would come later. I asked him slowly and carefully if he found my body hard to look at. He said yes. "So, this means seeing me naked was troublesome to you?" I asked. He told me he had just looked away. And when the lights were out, he pretended my body was younger -- that I was younger. My breath came deep and full as I processed this information. My face blazed as I felt embarrassed and shamed by memories of my easy nakedness with him in days just passed.

We talked for some time more, my head reeling at the content of the conversation. He spoke of special stockings and clothing that would "hide" my years. He blithely told me he loved "little black dresses" and strappy shoes. He said my hair was not long and flowing as he preferred, but that was okay because it was "cool looking." I felt like a Barbie Doll on acid as I listened to this man. He was totally oblivious to the viciousness of his words. He had turned me into an object to be dressed and positioned to provide satisfaction for his ideas of what female sexual perfection should be.

He explained that now that I knew what was required, we could have a great time in the bedroom. I told him no. I would not hide from my own body. I would not wear outfits to make my body more "tolerable." I would not undress in the dark or shower with the bathroom door closed. I would not diminish myself for him -- or for anyone. My body is beautiful and it goes along with my mind and my heart.

When I told Dave that I never wanted to see or hear from him again, he was confused and complained that I was making a big deal out of nothing. He whined that I had taken a small part of our relationship and made it a major event. I didn't even want to try to explain the hurt and the horror that he had inflicted upon me. I actually felt sickly sorry for this man as I hung up the phone. It was after this call that I went to the bedroom and gently stripped off my clothes.

As I looked in the mirror -- clear-eyed and brave -- I claimed every inch of my body with love, honor and deep care. This body is me. She has held my soul and carried my heart for all of my days. Each wrinkle and imperfection is a badge of my living and of my giving of life. With tears in my eyes, I hugged myself close. I said thank you to God for the gift of my body and my life. And I said thank you to a sad man named Dave for reminding me of how precious it all is.

Here's what I've posted on my profile. Haven't been bombarded by fellas:

I'm looking to spend time with an easy-going guy - the living is much better when activities are shared with masculine company. While I agree that 'looks' are usually the first criteria people have when searching for a mate it is not my most important criteria. My number one criterion is 'can he make me laugh?' The Second is, 'what is his depth of character? Is he willing to reveal himself to me, or do our conversations always just skim the surface?' The Third is, 'is he as curious about the world as I am, or is he content to just live in the bubble of his city and job?' Seduce my mind, as well.

Absolutely sex is important at any age!! But liking one another first, friendship, relationship should come first.

Sorry to say it, guys, but sooner or later the equipment doesn't work - then what if that's your priority and focus when meeting someone new?

Met a guy this week - he wanted sex right away - then he couldn't perform. He was devastated to find this out, as it had been a while & he thought he was still good to go.

Now, if he had waited to develop a proper friendship with me first then I would still be seeing him. But, he made sex the focus, so............why should I stick around. He shot himself in the foot.

Don't know about finding true love on this site, but I have found many scammers pretending to be someone they are not. Hate it! And they want your personal email so they can contact you off this site seeing's how they're a one woman man looking for a one man women. Caught one guy using a Nigerian yahoo account - really discouraging. I hate that you have to doubt everything a man tells you.

Military life is hard on everyone. Chin up, your girl will find you! God bless you and keep you safe.

Cowboy, you're a rare pearl of a man. Your (eventual) wife will be a very lucky lady to have you as her man. Stick to your principals.

Hello all. I'm new to on-line dating, and was wondering how I come across? Any suggestions / improvements I can make to my profile?

Thanks for your help!

Well, off the top of my head, the fact you have a ring on your 'married' finger is not a good thing considering you say you've never been married.

Matthew, I think your profile is great - lots of good information that would prompt a girl to ask follow up questions.

Your pic, though, kind of makes you look angry, like you're giving a growl LOL Maybe post a different pic?

First of all, turn your pic around so you face right-side up.

2nd, you give NO info about yourself or what your interests are.

MaJayJay,

Before a man can love your children he has to love you first. Take out the pics and references to your children, and that you're looking for a father for your kids.

A man needs to connect with YOU, and you alone, first of all. The men looking at your profile will know you have children living with you. If he chooses to contact you that lets you know he's ok with that.

Even if he doesn't want children, and consequently, a relationship with you, that doesn't mean he's not a quality man, just that he's not ready and/or willing for that kind of commitment yet.

That doesn't make him a bad man, just a bad man for you at this point in your life.

Good luck in your search.