Just when I thought I was getting somewhere on this site.

I have been chatting to a guy for over a month, definitely not a scammer. He lives in the same town as me. Recently he has been asking to meet me. I finally gave in and agreed that we would meet this evening. I said I would let him know when I'm back in town as I spend weekends away.

I got online to let him know I was here and find out where we were to meet and his account has been deactivated!

I should have been wary that we didn't exchange numbers, but to be honest I was pleased we had been chatting for so long and he hadn't mentioned phone calls / whatsapp / skype / viber! That usually starts the warning bells in my head.

So now after getting psyched up and dressed up, once again I'm sitting on the forums killing time.

Grrrrr!

Oh dear, sorry to read this.

You're better off knowing now though rather than later.

Sorry to hear about that.

I'm not heartbroken or anything so dramatic, I've lived life long enough to not get upset.

Just disappointed, and a bit annoyed that I rushed around all evening to make time for him. Annoyed with myself that I had let the butterflies kick in too.

Nevermind...Neeeeeext!

There are rules on the internet.
One of them is, you can be anyone you want to be
before you meet your victim.

I totally get that. What surprises me is that we were happy chatting, and it was him who insisted we meet. If he has changed his mind, that's fine, we all have the right to do so, but a quick message saying so is all that was required. Seems a bit extreme to deactivate! (And no, I'm not one of those people who message relentlessly or send nudges constantly, 'Speak when spoken to' is my moto!)

You were at the moment of truth when
he bailed..coincidence?

Maybe he just got hit by a bus.

Sorry to hear that, never fun to go through that.

Nevertheless ... another point of view ... it could be that he thought you weren't for real, as from what I understand you were reluctant to meet even though you live in the same city/town. And then you say you're gone during weekends, so it's difficult to meet.
If a guy told me that, I'd have red flags popping up. It would make me think he's married and trying to have something nice on the side.

Sorry Em
I hope you find someone soon

sorry this happened
next time
you might want to
exchange phone numbers if you are comfortable with him
do a meet and greet for lunch or coffee
if he is a no-show
no big deal
move it on down the line

My reluctance was because it is a very small town, didn't want things to get awkward if we bumped into each other after. Guess I could have made that more clear.

It isn't difficult to meet, we chatted any night during the week, it was he who chose Sunday night, knowing I visit my parents on a weekend.

Didn't think I would be analysing it so much! I'm actually glad we didn't meet coz now I don't have to worry about bumping into him in the corner shop!


I'll live! Trust is such a strong word, I would say I was 'curious'!

I like that...I don't know who to be now.lol

Sorry Em. If he is going to be unreliable it is better to find out now when all you have invested is time chatting rather then later when you have invested more of yourself. Better luck nest time

And I like that reply...maybe he got hit by a bus...I know..sad ....but funny.

Sorry you were disappointed OP.

Sounds like you dodged a bullet if he is insisting meeting you at and inconvenient time but is that what was really the deal?

But yea someone in a local community that drags out just meeting for a coffee I would have probably blown off as a phony/player pretty quick. We are not talking preparing for a five star date and a marriage proposal to meet for coffee. Ii reality it is just a "Hey you seem nice let's see if it s real person and not my friends punking me."

But it is a small world and living anywhere large or small is a good reason to keep your personal life modest and respectable. But I don't exactly get how bumping into someone after a coffee date that just did not go further doesn't seem that dramatic.

However I hate to say it men get their feelings hurt when they feel like they are being pulled through the hoops and often will set you up for a "fall" of a no show date and deactivate if you think you are all that and a bag of chips.

Sometimes it is they think they are all that and a bag of chips and going on line is slumming. Who knows.

Again sorry. Hopefully you were prepared to have a nice meal or at least dessert out so it was not a total wash out.

I like your unjaded opinion of the situation, however there aren't many coffee shops open in my area after 10pm. Glad nothing came of it and I didn't end up doing more than I had originally intended!

Always be yourself, it's the only thing anybody can ever get right 100% of the time.



It might not be so funny if I am driving a bus when I do see him

I got hit by a bus once.....twice....okay maybe three times.

That could explain a few things.

Wouldn't it?