Sorry for the disappointment. It sucks to think you have a meet to look forward to & then have it dematerialize, much less have the person disappear as well...

That's one of the downsides to OLD...all too easy to get caught up in chatting nightly/daily & start to feel like you know someone, when in reality you have no idea who this person is besides a pic/stats & a username/email address. Conventional OLD wisdom says don't be afraid to give out your phone # w/in a couple of days to have a real conversation & get the in person meet done as soon as possible (ex. started messg. on site on a Sunday...should be meeting for coffee/drink by Saturday), as long as you are not dealing w/the red flags for a scammer since you don't want those people to have your #. For women we are naturally slightly wary or reserved & want to have lots of chat to find out things, but that process often opens the door for fools like the one you found.

Every thing like this is a learning curve on OLD...

You know you wuv me.

Yea we were picking you up.
l

Yea we were picking you up.
l

Sorry about that EMJ but it sounds like you are not over analyzing the situation.

Who knows why he flaked out?

Hang in there, maybe a good one that avoided the bus is waiting for you!

The experience sucks & so does the perpetrator! I'd be Hurt then Pissed as Hell! Erase his existence from consciousness & block him in total. What ever his reasons, excuses, or rationalizations are? Guess what? It's Not Your Problem-it's his issue, his alone, & only he owns it! Cheer up, it's always something...

Ya know, the only thing that happened here is:


That's it.

That's all that happened.

You had a month of opportunity knocking.

...Then opportunity left.

IMO the guy did absolutely nothing wrong in any way shape or form by just leaving.

Personally, I would probably give the guy a medal for lasting a month "chatting."

I mean:

If I'm talking to a woman and she agrees to meet me not really because she wants to but because she "gave in," and then blew me off saying something like "I'll let you know when you can tell me where and when to meet when I'm back in town," I'd block her.

There is absolutely nothing in the OP that shows any communication to the guy that there's any interest in actually meeting him.

The OP reads like "For a month I was chatting to this guy, getting what I wanted, and then I deigned to agree to meet him sometime just because he started asking, and when I was going to ask him where I could just show up, he disappeared, what an a-hole..."



...But I simply assume that people that go to dating websites, put up a photo, fill out a profile, and email each other are actually looking to date.
So my perspective could be completely off.

And it is if this:

should be "just when I thought I was getting somewhere on this site, and the only reason I came to an online dating site in the first place was to sit online and chat."

Hmm.. over a month and you did not have each other's phone numbers?.
Hmmm.. and you live in each other's hometowns.. why so long to wait to do a simple meet and greet.. you have to think about online dating ...well for lack of a better way of thinking of it ,..job interviewing.. you ask a few simple questions.. to make sure they're legit.. then you move forward one step.. you get a picture a current picture from them.. you move forward another step.. you make sure they are in sync with your needs.. you move forward another step.. then you get each other's phone numbers.. you move forward another step..
Then you do the meet and greet.. and then you decide if your going to date or not... all of this should take no more time than a week.... I would never invest a month in somebody without their phone number a picture of them or a meet and greet... the clock is always ticking..lol

Thanks all for your advice.

We didn't talk the whole month, it was on and off so I was never sure if he was actually interested in me or not. The mails were more friendly banter than anything else. It was only in the last week that he suggested us meeting.

There are other guys on here that I consider friends, we will probably never really meet but we chat about the world of online dating and how things are going in life in general, I had lumped this guy in the same group.

As for going through the whole process in a week or so like some have suggested, if conversation is like getting blood from a stone in the beginning does that mean I give up straight away and stop chatting? I realise if there is a connection then the convo should flow easily but is that a reason to not make a few friends along the way?

I'm not afraid to block people who are inappropriate or just annoy me (one even found me on another site and asked why I had blocked him). But there are others that I won't hear from for a week or so and then they reappear, could be their first choice didn't work out and I'm the back-up plan, or they just need their egos tickled a bit.

Maybe I have to stop being 'nice' and work out what it is I want from this malarky!

Yes.... it helps if you know what category you're putting everyone in..
.. it sounds as though this person that deleted their account was just going to end up in the friend category....
... I only really emotionally commit to someone once I have met them.. up to that point they come or go... nothing to get too excited about.. perhaps..op you just jumped the gun a little bit..
.. but you are moving in the right direction though.... every contact every online relationship puts you one step closer to the real deal..

His wife found out about his Mingle2 account...

:D that did cross my mind! Maybe she caught him getting all spruced up!

I've had this to happen to me more times than I care to count. There are a lot of flaky people out there. It's one of the hazards of online dating. You will meet all kinds of weirdos and goofy people. Me, The way I see it, if a person can make it for two weeks talking to me on site, then that person might be worth my extra time. So far I have never been stood up. But I have met some real winners.lol In other words, no one I could really take seriously.