Pretty much this is true....or at least the temptation to cheat will be higher. Happened with my ex wife. I actually lost weight and she found me unattractive. She re-married a dude who is about as heavy as I was at my heaviest. And she swore that weight wasn't an issue.

Ok I am not even going to read the whole thread and just put it out there; your coworker is full of it.

Nobody has to cheat it is a choice. Sounds like Little Miss Witchie Poo is already making excuses for bad behavior. Do your self a favor and find someone else to hang out with in the break room.

In a relationship you get to choose what has value and if your thing is what a person is inside then good for you girl.

Over the years, I've learned that physical attraction has its place. But a lot of people seem to want to lump "looks" in with physical attraction. I've learned over the years that, well, I don't mean to ugly, But I've seen some of the prettiest women with what looked to me like some of the ugliest men I've ever seen. And they seemed very happy. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


But what I see the most of seems shallow to me. Women who seem attracted to the outside of the person. He has to look a certain way. And guys that think her hair has to be long and only a blond will do. His muscles have to have muscles. He has to dress a certain way. And the same goes for her.

I can't help but wonder about people like this. I wonder if they are really happy? Me personally, I've always was more interested in who you are and what you are. You may not be that good looking. But if you have something about you that appeals to me, the more attractive you become.

Do hot people ever talk about personality, the heart and the soul this much? Just wondering. Maybe the hot ones want other hot ones because they know that they can get them. The rest talk about the heart and the mind. Just a thought. But we all know the plain ones wouldn't exactly kick the hot ones to the curb if they knew they had a chance with them. It's called reality and living in denial so you can settle for what you can get.

And to further overcompensate, the plain ones love to attack the hot ones and call their personality ugly so they can feel better about themselves. It's really a shame.

Possibly, mutual attractiveness is important to a certain degree.

Honestly nobody wants to build an sexual and intimate relationship with someone they are not attracted to, that puts an impact on the bond o closeness that you build with a companion.

But that's not always true, sometimes it doesn't always happen that way... But most of the time.it does.

I go for personality. Unless they are revolting looks don't matter. Then again, even people that know me well are surprised by who I find attractive.

Hum? Not necessarily. I've dated the hot ones. It was dating the hot ones that changed my mind. Every woman I ever dated that was hot, she knew she was. Most every one of them that I dated were self-centered. It taught me something. It taught me to quit being that way. I started looking a little deeper myself. Once I did that, I started getting a better quality of woman. I lost my interest in the hot ones that know they are hot.

Really? How many hot ones dated you that made you decide that all hot women are self-centered? It obviously couldn't have been a whole city of them. Based on a few women you met, you paint all hot women with the same brush.

My mother was a beautiful woman. She was 5 Fft 5 blue eyes and long black hair with striking features and movie star teeth. My father was 6Ftwith dark curly hair and big brown eyes and mustache. As a kid I knew by looking around I had good looking parents and brothers but always thought myself as too tall,too broad,too tomboyish with wild hair
never thought much about my own looks either way

Too hard to edit on my phone..my point is that I think of my self as pretty damn normal. now do I look at a guys profile pic and make a snap judgement on him? Of course and anyone who.does not admit to doung so is in my opinion lying to themself. I will then based on if I think he is kinda cute go on to read his username and profile

Unless they are revolting? What constitutes revolting?

I can answer that!

<<<< this guy is revolting!

You'd need all sorts of different goggles....beer, wine, liquor, weed

Charm is deceptive; beauty is fleeting...These things play a part in initial attraction and are absolutely subjective, but in order for that attraction to grow and develop into something meaningful, there has to be more to a person than "outside appearances"...What that 'more' consists of is also subjective...

I may have no substance. I'm just glad I'm pretty.


......and not in jail

Pretty boys need love too...

I only relate to the last 2 statements...

Its a mistake to try to simplify everything that goes into a relationship or even the notion of 'attraction'

everyone is different, and so I imagine there are those who would find their partners appearance a good excuse to cheat

others, myself included, just would not cheat on anyone for any reason,, and would end a relationship if we weren't finding ourselves compatible with our partner

as to the importance of outer appearances,, for me anyhow, there are degrees and its also not so simple

I don't require an instant physical attraction like the media and medical profession have pushed as the 'norm'


for instance, I am not attracted offhand to men my height or shorter, but this is only ONE of many physical attributes and there are many others that I am attractive to

so, since shortness is not something Im attracted to, its also not something that completely turns me off,, so a shorter man who ends up with an amazing character or musical talent, or some of those other things that do attract me could easily become attractive as I got to know him


now, some things, like nasty teeth or body odor are COMPLETE TURN OFFS and any other attractive thing about a man will be overshadowed by those things so that it would be impossible for me to become attracted to them,,,,fortunately these are things that a person can do something about


,, lastly, back to my first point, for me, I Can BECOME attracted to so many things about a person that dont become obvious until spending more time with them,,,,so if Im not completely TURNED off by something about my partner, its a matter of looking deeper for those things to renew the initial interest/attraction


relationships take some effort and work, its not all about what our partner has or gives, but what WE have and give to our partner

Any major extremes. Not keeping themselves clean to the point it looks like they haven't taken a bath in a month, or on the other end spending 4 hours to get their hair just right. Tooth pick skinny where you can only see bones or 800 lbs where you will never see bones. Basicly the far end outliers on the bell curve.

I'm not trying to paint them all with the same brush. All I have to go by is where I've been and what I've seen. Over the years, maybe 50 to 100 of them. After dating these women, it taught me something. Really about myself. Just because a woman doesn't fall under the banner of "HOT" Doesn't mean that she has nothing about her to find attractive. Look deeper than the outside.