However open minded and forgiven i am i can never accept cheating,although i can forgive the person but that surely ends the relationship...

I get what your saying but I guess to every situation its different and yes we are aware of the std and Aids that truly exist but lets talk reality and not the fairytale land we are pretending to live in. we must remember not all couples share their mistakes I know for a fact their were mistkaes made in these elderly couples you speak of.

Let's legalize polygamy. That way everyone can have their cake and eat it too.

Yes everyone makes mistakes but some are deal breakers for people. Cheating is a big betrayal in my book.

One time maybe a mistake
More than once is a choice

I don't want to be in an open relationship or one that allows cheating. That is just me.

Yes, please start talking reality, OP...

That's the toughest one, cheating. But it can be done realizing it was a mistake. Us men make em, so do women. Some people can stay in love or renew that love they had. Easier actually to do that, providing you've had some years of trust and loving each other, than to split, and both meet new partners that will satisfy your needs. Just depends on how strong was the Love to begin with, how good was your life together. You will never forget, but you can forgive if the other is worthy of it.

Do any of us enter a relationship with the idea that we can cheat on the other. Not likely. Stuff happens. As much as you might think it couldn't happen to you your significant other is at the same odds most likely. If it's an open relationship from the start well, good luck with that one

cheating is certainly fatal to a marriage. so that just leaves the "do us part" part.
you deserve better.

When you use the word 'fatal' then you've already established a limit on your love. Thinking one has done it first, so that's the end, when the reality is if one didn't the other still might. No one "deserves" to be cheated on unless they caused the other to cheat. So that brings another factor into the equation, what caused one to cheat? It's not always the cheaters fault if the cheaters being cheated by the other (man was that a mouth full). I don't think you can just draw a line and say one kind of mistake in a relationship is going to have this degree of consequence vs. another mistake. Your no longer loving unconditionally.

ending a marriage does not necessarily mean you now unlove this person. if a spouse has sex
with someone other than their spouse, assuming a non-open marriage, for me, this is major. it
signifies that there is something terribly wrong in the relationship. it is no ones fault but the cheaters
if they choose to cheat rather than find an alternative way that does not defy the sanctity on the
marriage. I can, do, and will draw a line with unfaithfulness. I believe both partners deserve that.

now this is realistic talk .

now I see why so many are single, people are just not accepting the mistakes in relationships. In order to get someone to commit, who you love, who has been damaged, you might have to take a few shots to make it a successful relationship , communicating and finding the solution to the behavior, it is than, that you finally decide weather to stay and fight it through or just wait forever for that perfect love.

some don't even know they are damaged until they actually try a relationship . You see a relationship brings out things some of us don't even know we have in us . its knew to the individual and to the person in the relationship .

I think most people can accept mistakes made by others in relationships.
That's a part of what makes a relationship healty.
But some 'mistakes' as you call them really do cross the line.
Cheating is an example of that for a lot of people, it's a very nasty, hurtful thing to do to someone and to have done to you.
There are no excuses for it, though no doubt if caught the excuses tend to flow fast and freely when the guilt starts to kick in.
IMO the cheater knows exactly what they are doing, and they chose to do one of the lowest things you can do to the person they're supposed to be in a loving, trusting relationship with.
Unfortunately sometimes it takes a devastating event like that to reveal someone's true nature.

I'm not trying to justify anything. Cheating is wrong, it's a mistake and both the man and woman are susceptible to mistakes. But if you've had good loving relationship for say 5 years. Are you willing to throw those 5 years away that you may never find another partner that will give you the love that the one that cheated on you did. If the cheater realizes and is truly sorry that he/she made a mistake and continue in their love (and of course you have to build the trust back up) you can survive unfaithfulness in a marriage.

exactly my point. You promise to love each other unconditionally. after you have encountered unfaithfulness and both of you can reconcile your difference over it, forgive but you will never forget, it is easier to stay in the marriage than to divide it and possibly never have a relationship like you had with your now ex. It happens quite often, many regret divorcing because of the difficulty in filling a void that should be damn hard to fill if you both actually loved each other.

Cheating is still a mistake. Making the wrong choices at a point in time in your relationship. If it becomes repeatedly a problem then yes, you have not reconciled the mistake and you can never rebuild your partners trust.

As I mentioned it's something that crosses the line for a lot of people, they won't tolerate it even once, and I don't blame them, I won't either.
Wrong choice...perhaps, but it's still a conscious decision made by the cheater to do such a thing.
I'm well aware that some people can rebuild relationships after a cheating episode but in my own experiences I've found once a cheater, always a cheater.

I would never cheat in a relationship,
because that would require two people to find me attractive.