I find I am running into this issue when receiving messages on the site. I will reply with questions, trying to get to know more about the man that contacted me. I receive brief answers to my questions, and that is it. No questions for me. Conversation is give AND take. You cannot expect to keep a conversation going, via email, messaging, or whatever without showing some kind of interest in the person you are trying to connect with.

Just saying...

Has anyone else been having this issue?

Hi
I think it means they are not interested in getting to know or don't understand English / how to converse etc lots of things we assume isn't so obvious to some people I guess try to stick to those who are more communicative ; I completely sympathise !

I think I am more guilty of not responding with lengthy replies or asking many questions. Some of that is lack of interest, and also some of that is because the man is too young or we really do not know anything about each other to talk about. I do not usually message long with anyone unless I know them first.

Being on the other side of it, I will say that personally I do not like getting to know someone with a series of questions and answers. I also block nearly all (if not all) sex chat.

I prefer things unfold more gradually over a longer period of time. I realize things take longer that way. But for me this is more a social networking than a dating site. For a variety of reasons the internet is not my first choice for actually meeting and dating locally. Hope that provides a little insight.

In general, the least socially adroit people are on the internet dating sites as most require great time, energy, and effort to simply elicit a short meeting which should be the first thing to do to ascertain potential chemistry. Given fear and social ineptness many choose to engage in protracted emails and texting at tremendous time and space only to meet and often be disappointed. The inability to comfortably meet directly makes this site so alluring as often one never meets anyone just people needing to have a variety of superficial notes being passed with no substance just an illusion of having a social life. having perused over a thousand applicants i assure you in the age range of 40 to 55 the majority are obese, smoke and have dogmatic religious beliefs bordering on child hood dependency.. the response to such a dilemma is to actively engage folks and not take it seriously as so few will in fact be as they present, choose to actually meet, and then be as described in their narrative. My favorite phrase for this social dilemma is that " many are called but few are chosen" The good news is if you are willing to screen a large number of people you will ultimately prevail but dont be surprised the higher your expectations of others the more candidates you are likely to meet before a compatible match is made. Wishing every one a happy new year and the patience to meet sufficient people to find what each seeks....

Computer exchanges tend to fade away sad fact.

If only approximately 17% of marriages that occur start on line it still means that 83% of people don't see it as the way they prefer to meet people.

IMHO that is because most people truly do not see computers as a way to get an accurate picture of the person they see. Computer users definitely make that more true by presenting fake or out of date personas; rather than the truth.

I dare say that most people who are on line are using it more as a pass time than any genuine expectation they are going to meet someone. Accidents happen but they are really rare.

And, if my experience is accurate, then even if you clearly state what you do want, people who are not even remotely close to it will still waste your time trying to tell you what you want is them. If you tell them then you are a : person.

I had someone contact me yesterday with a wonderful blurb about how much he liked my profile and would love to get to know me.

I asked him which part of my profile caught his attention. He, of course, answered All of it.

I told him basically Nice try but you really need to read it! He never replied back! So much for honesty and integrity!

If you read my profile, you'll see what I mean! Seriously, there are some real precious "sweeties" out there!!!

Don't give up as there are some amazing people here too!

I tend to type quite lengthy emails and sometimes I'll try to put at least one question in there to give them something to respond to. But really, is that how you need to have a conversation with somebody? If I've typed a few paragraphs there's got to be something in there that they can respond to without turning it into some sort of interview. I'll reply to women after all, whether they ask me anything or not, as long as they at least say something interesting.

I've chatted with quite a lot of women on here but I've only ever had one lady that kept replying for months and the rest just stop replying after a while. I guess that sometimes it's not that they're being deliberately unfriendly but they don't want to feel obligated to maintain a correspondence, perhaps because they don't want me to think that they are actually romantically interested in me. You just have to move on and try again with someone else when they're like that about it because you can't force these things and as far as not asking questions being a sign of a lack of interest in them goes, I wouldn't be messaging them at all if that was the case.

Recently read that men often have difficulty thinking of what to say?
I usually get lots of questions. Very irritating. If I then ask them a question(s), it's as if you crossed a line or you get a very short answer to it, nothing you can work with to get/keep a conversation going.
Some even seem to think it's interesting to send a daily message along the lines of "Hi, how was your day?" or "hi, do you have plans for the day / the evening / the weekend?"
Makes me feel awkward, suddenly I need to have plans???
I live. I plan as little as I possibly can.

In all the months I've been here, I think I had just the one that was really original, interesting, witty. I even had to plug in my brain for our conversations.
One in 4 months, so it don't happen often.

I don't get why people don't read profiles. Would save them soooooooh much rejection and wasted time.

I always read profiles but I'll admit that sometimes I'll message women that don't seem to be looking for a guy like me, or they might not sound like my sort of girl either. At least half the stuff that people put on dating profiles is BS anyway and most of these women aren't seriously looking for anything apart from chat, so why not?

Another platitude: "How are you"
Answer: "fine"

Result: end of conversation, no, hang on, there wasn't even a conversation ...

(I'm whinging, ain't I? )

I have to agree with this because I get messages like how much he loves my profile - we share so many interests, blah, blah, blah

if he HAD read my profile...it is clearly brief for a reason and not meant to encourage anyone for anything except friendships in the forums. So I have to laugh when I get those. I figure they are cut and pastes. Even when I had a longer profile, I'd get messages from men who clearly did not match with anything I had said. Either they didn't read it or they just were ignoring my preferences. either way, it was annoying. I get that sometimes it;s OK to date with someone who doesn't match your preferences, but then there is the drama to deal with when I do not want to pursue things further. I hate drama of ANY kind, so it's easier to wait until I am fairly certain there is at least a "chance..."

Nah, they are men, one has to get used to only listening :-)

I learned a long time ago, men really have no interest in
what you have to say or offer.

The best you can hope for is someone who pretends to listen
with some degree of involvement.

Now, myself, I can do math problems, worry my taxes, plan
Christmas presents or ponder black holes while pretending
to listen.

Lack of communication ability and/or motivation is not gender specific. It goes both ways. Some people communicate well, others do not. Since communication is important to me, I dismiss those who lack that ability or motivation.

During the past two or three years there have been a few (very few) women with whom correspondence has been interesting. We discovered that we were not "a match" but were two people interested in exchanging information, attitudes, ideas, news, accomplishments, setbacks, etc. In fact, we have become "Internet Friends."

This, of course, does not achieve an objective of finding a mate, partner, match, or even a "date." Perhaps that too could happen some day -- but I will not stand on one foot waiting.

I really don't have any problem if someone reads my profile and emails me and says something like "Hi; we have a similar interest in----- would you like to chat?" Once in awhile I don't see polite chat as a big imposition. Especially if they social with me in forums. Strangers are either going to have to put up a substantial profile or I am probably not going to do anything more than read their profile or email if I have time. I get from 20-50 off site personal emails a day to respond to so Mingle is not the only game in town. Especially during the holidays.

Because of that I may or may not have time to respond. I expect them to be adult enough to accept that as nothing overtly personal. Certainly no more offensive than someone not seeing or hearing your remark on a busy street.

I personally see people who get all peeved because I don't want to entertain them or keep them from being alone from afar as someone who has problems probably way bigger than I want to deal with.

But I generally keep my conversations in forums and my personal life in Mingle e-mail, or off site entirely. If I don't attempt to move a relationship into direct personal contact in a season you pretty much can count on it not happening.

Then the sex better be real bluddy good, and more then a mere 8 seconds, for putting up with that BS. Must say I did lots of pretending to listen with my ex. Just say "yes" and "uhuh" at the right moment. He was so full of himself, I don't think he ever even noticed.

Usually the people who contact me don't have a lot to say, nor really read my profile... for the handful who have, I have had some amazing and very meaningful conversations with them. When I do write to someone, it is always either about what is in their profile or something that caught my attention in the forums, and in those situations I usually have a some pretty good chats as well.

Personally speaking, I love a good conversation and enjoy listening to another person's ideas and thoughts. Even if I don't always agree, I oftentimes receive a new way to look at something.

For myself the conversation part is very important. Its the human connection.When I'm connecting with a woman mentally its electric and makes me excited about sharing time with her.

If someone contacts me, but doesn't say a whole lot, or just asks a list of questions, I'm not likely to respond with much. I prefer when someone tries to have a conversation, rather than interviewing me, or expecting me to do all the chatting. What I've found is most don't get past the small talk, or they just ask question after question without trying to actually chat about anything.

well if they can't "listen" in the form of taking note of preferences stated in my profile, then they can't complain when a woman declines.