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| Topic: What about you & why? | |
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I'm Canadian. Nuff' said. So is Justin Bieber. Your point is ...? 
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I'm Canadian. Nuff' said. So is Justin Bieber. Your point is ...?
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Every Canadian I've known is hot.
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I went to school in Canada does that count?
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I went to school in Canada does that count?
Probably. 
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Every Canadian I've known is hot.
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Every Canadian I've known is hot.
Dude... even when it's freezing cold. We're still hot  
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Every Canadian I've known is hot.
 We've got several Canadian hotties right here on Mingle!!
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Mon 11/25/13 02:51 PM
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What makes me Attractive/sexy? Modesty.... 
That's my favorite quality in another person, modesty and humility. Very attractive. Same here Paint  ....It's a hell of a turn on too....
Ditto on modesty! 
Beauty physical or otherwise should be in the eyes of the beholder. Different people behold different things. Ego inflation is not necessary for self-esteem. JMHO
Exactly. I hate it when a guy introduces himself as hot or good-looking, my reaction is, according to who?
That's a completely different scenario from being asked directly what is sexy and attractive about yourself. I find it most amazing and somewhat amusing that a number of people come up with "modesty". I don't find it modest at all if you cannot even come up with what you find attractive about yourself. There's nothing wrong with knowing this, being able to tell about your strong points - without being arrogant. Maybe it's a cultural difference, my English ex partner always came up with the argument of it being arrogant when I said I was good at something (regardless what it was). Why is it arrogant? If I'm good at baking cakes (which I'm not by the way) or have great boobs (which I do), why is it arrogant to say so? Should I play it down, pretend, which is dishonest? If you don't even know what is sexy and attractive about yourself, how can you present yourself in the outside dating-world? One thing you learn when you do intuitive/personal/spiritual development and growth is learn to be empowered. And an empowered being can also voice what is good about him WITHOUT being cocky or arrogant. Nothing wrong with it. Someone that knows him/herself is attractive. Modesty is invented for keeping ppl small, not empowered. We're reared to believe it is wrong, which doesn't mean to say it IS wrong. Phew, time for coffee Understand, but I think it's more about personalities than culture and being modest does not mean you are oblivious to your strengths (or weaknesses  ), it could mean you are not comfortable talking about them in front of a crowd, it might mean you are a person who likes to let people form their own opinion(s) about you .....That's where I fall, I just don't feel comfortable singing my own praises, even when asked to do so and compliments mean so much more to me when I don't question the sincerity...The only time I will do it if I'm asked is during a job interview because I understand the relevance....
Thing is, is not feeling comfy about it the same as being modest? Not feeling comfortable may or may not be due to modesty Crystal...Speaking strictly for myself it is modesty...I think more people than not feel this way, most especially those who know exactly who they are (and why)......Ask yourself this, " Is posting a list of your attributes being narcissistic?"....See how easy it is for that door to swing either way? ......I think the truest measure of a man or a woman is not how they see themselves, but how others see them...
@ Warren...I think you're pretty too.... 
No, I don't think it's narcissistic. I lived with one for over 10 years and that's not how they work. They make sure they have OTHERS to tell the whole world how great they are, they don't really do it themselves. They portrait modesty themselves, but at the same time revel in the glory they get, and they make sure themselves that they get that by making sure they're surrounded by ppl that put the NPD on a pedestal. So basically if you rely on others to tell how gorgeous you are, that is closer to narcissism than when you do it yourself. But I'll not elaborate on that, I use my blog for that subject (and other things) |
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Edited by
lionsbrew
on
Mon 11/25/13 03:39 PM
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All I wanted was people to talk about themselves in a positive way. I wasn't looking to cause a debate about the reasoning but thats what happens when so many intelligent people are together in one place. Opinions will vary and people will inevitably butt heads. However if you beautiful woman are going to do so please do me one little favor?.....
Can you all just get into this tiny pool filled with chocolate for me and charge admission. 
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What makes me Attractive/sexy? Modesty....
That's my favorite quality in another person, modesty and humility. Very attractive. Same here Paint ....It's a hell of a turn on too....
Ditto on modesty!
Beauty physical or otherwise should be in the eyes of the beholder. Different people behold different things. Ego inflation is not necessary for self-esteem. JMHO
Exactly. I hate it when a guy introduces himself as hot or good-looking, my reaction is, according to who?
That's a completely different scenario from being asked directly what is sexy and attractive about yourself. I find it most amazing and somewhat amusing that a number of people come up with "modesty". I don't find it modest at all if you cannot even come up with what you find attractive about yourself. There's nothing wrong with knowing this, being able to tell about your strong points - without being arrogant. Maybe it's a cultural difference, my English ex partner always came up with the argument of it being arrogant when I said I was good at something (regardless what it was). Why is it arrogant? If I'm good at baking cakes (which I'm not by the way) or have great boobs (which I do), why is it arrogant to say so? Should I play it down, pretend, which is dishonest? If you don't even know what is sexy and attractive about yourself, how can you present yourself in the outside dating-world? One thing you learn when you do intuitive/personal/spiritual development and growth is learn to be empowered. And an empowered being can also voice what is good about him WITHOUT being cocky or arrogant. Nothing wrong with it. Someone that knows him/herself is attractive. Modesty is invented for keeping ppl small, not empowered. We're reared to believe it is wrong, which doesn't mean to say it IS wrong. Phew, time for coffee Understand, but I think it's more about personalities than culture and being modest does not mean you are oblivious to your strengths (or weaknesses ), it could mean you are not comfortable talking about them in front of a crowd, it might mean you are a person who likes to let people form their own opinion(s) about you .....That's where I fall, I just don't feel comfortable singing my own praises, even when asked to do so and compliments mean so much more to me when I don't question the sincerity...The only time I will do it if I'm asked is during a job interview because I understand the relevance....
Thing is, is not feeling comfy about it the same as being modest? Not feeling comfortable may or may not be due to modesty Crystal...Speaking strictly for myself it is modesty...I think more people than not feel this way, most especially those who know exactly who they are (and why)......Ask yourself this, " Is posting a list of your attributes being narcissistic?"....See how easy it is for that door to swing either way? ......I think the truest measure of a man or a woman is not how they see themselves, but how others see them...
@ Warren...I think you're pretty too....
No, I don't think it's narcissistic. I lived with one for over 10 years and that's not how they work. They make sure they have OTHERS to tell the whole world how great they are, they don't really do it themselves. They portrait modesty themselves, but at the same time revel in the glory they get, and they make sure themselves that they get that by making sure they're surrounded by ppl that put the NPD on a pedestal. So basically if you rely on others to tell how gorgeous you are, that is closer to narcissism than when you do it yourself. But I'll not elaborate on that, I use my blog for that subject (and other things) Narcissism can exhibit in many ways....At the core is excessive love or admiration for oneself...It can manifest in lot of different ways including self preoccupation, lack of empathy for others, exampling poor or low self-esteem by being controlling, being erotically pleased or infatuated with your body... Some synonyms include conceit, egotism, arrogance....It's not as black and white as you are making it...Regardless, my apologies to all for being off topic.. |
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What makes me Attractive/sexy? Modesty....
That's my favorite quality in another person, modesty and humility. Very attractive. Same here Paint ....It's a hell of a turn on too....
Ditto on modesty!
Beauty physical or otherwise should be in the eyes of the beholder. Different people behold different things. Ego inflation is not necessary for self-esteem. JMHO
Exactly. I hate it when a guy introduces himself as hot or good-looking, my reaction is, according to who?
That's a completely different scenario from being asked directly what is sexy and attractive about yourself. I find it most amazing and somewhat amusing that a number of people come up with "modesty". I don't find it modest at all if you cannot even come up with what you find attractive about yourself. There's nothing wrong with knowing this, being able to tell about your strong points - without being arrogant. Maybe it's a cultural difference, my English ex partner always came up with the argument of it being arrogant when I said I was good at something (regardless what it was). Why is it arrogant? If I'm good at baking cakes (which I'm not by the way) or have great boobs (which I do), why is it arrogant to say so? Should I play it down, pretend, which is dishonest? If you don't even know what is sexy and attractive about yourself, how can you present yourself in the outside dating-world? One thing you learn when you do intuitive/personal/spiritual development and growth is learn to be empowered. And an empowered being can also voice what is good about him WITHOUT being cocky or arrogant. Nothing wrong with it. Someone that knows him/herself is attractive. Modesty is invented for keeping ppl small, not empowered. We're reared to believe it is wrong, which doesn't mean to say it IS wrong. Phew, time for coffee Understand, but I think it's more about personalities than culture and being modest does not mean you are oblivious to your strengths (or weaknesses ), it could mean you are not comfortable talking about them in front of a crowd, it might mean you are a person who likes to let people form their own opinion(s) about you .....That's where I fall, I just don't feel comfortable singing my own praises, even when asked to do so and compliments mean so much more to me when I don't question the sincerity...The only time I will do it if I'm asked is during a job interview because I understand the relevance....
Thing is, is not feeling comfy about it the same as being modest? Not feeling comfortable may or may not be due to modesty Crystal...Speaking strictly for myself it is modesty...I think more people than not feel this way, most especially those who know exactly who they are (and why)......Ask yourself this, " Is posting a list of your attributes being narcissistic?"....See how easy it is for that door to swing either way? ......I think the truest measure of a man or a woman is not how they see themselves, but how others see them...
@ Warren...I think you're pretty too....
No, I don't think it's narcissistic. I lived with one for over 10 years and that's not how they work. They make sure they have OTHERS to tell the whole world how great they are, they don't really do it themselves. They portrait modesty themselves, but at the same time revel in the glory they get, and they make sure themselves that they get that by making sure they're surrounded by ppl that put the NPD on a pedestal. So basically if you rely on others to tell how gorgeous you are, that is closer to narcissism than when you do it yourself. But I'll not elaborate on that, I use my blog for that subject (and other things) nar·cis·sism noun \ˈnär-sə-ˌsiz-əm\ (Medical Dictionary) Medical Definition of NARCISSISM 1: love of or sexual desire for one's own body 2: the state or stage of development in psychoanalytic theory in which there is considerable erotic interest in one's own body and ego and which in abnormal forms persists through fixation or reappears through regression narcissism noun (Concise Encyclopedia) Mental disorder characterized by extreme self-absorption, an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and a need for attention and admiration from others. First identified by Havelock Ellis in 1898, the disorder is named for the mythological Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection. In addition to an inflated self-image and addiction to fantasy, narcissism is characterized by an unusual coolness and composure, which is shaken only when the narcissistic confidence is threatened, and by the tendency to take others for granted or to exploit them. |
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What makes me Attractive/sexy? Modesty....
That's my favorite quality in another person, modesty and humility. Very attractive. Same here Paint ....It's a hell of a turn on too....
Ditto on modesty!
Beauty physical or otherwise should be in the eyes of the beholder. Different people behold different things. Ego inflation is not necessary for self-esteem. JMHO
Exactly. I hate it when a guy introduces himself as hot or good-looking, my reaction is, according to who?
That's a completely different scenario from being asked directly what is sexy and attractive about yourself. I find it most amazing and somewhat amusing that a number of people come up with "modesty". I don't find it modest at all if you cannot even come up with what you find attractive about yourself. There's nothing wrong with knowing this, being able to tell about your strong points - without being arrogant. Maybe it's a cultural difference, my English ex partner always came up with the argument of it being arrogant when I said I was good at something (regardless what it was). Why is it arrogant? If I'm good at baking cakes (which I'm not by the way) or have great boobs (which I do), why is it arrogant to say so? Should I play it down, pretend, which is dishonest? If you don't even know what is sexy and attractive about yourself, how can you present yourself in the outside dating-world? One thing you learn when you do intuitive/personal/spiritual development and growth is learn to be empowered. And an empowered being can also voice what is good about him WITHOUT being cocky or arrogant. Nothing wrong with it. Someone that knows him/herself is attractive. Modesty is invented for keeping ppl small, not empowered. We're reared to believe it is wrong, which doesn't mean to say it IS wrong. Phew, time for coffee Understand, but I think it's more about personalities than culture and being modest does not mean you are oblivious to your strengths (or weaknesses ), it could mean you are not comfortable talking about them in front of a crowd, it might mean you are a person who likes to let people form their own opinion(s) about you .....That's where I fall, I just don't feel comfortable singing my own praises, even when asked to do so and compliments mean so much more to me when I don't question the sincerity...The only time I will do it if I'm asked is during a job interview because I understand the relevance....
Thing is, is not feeling comfy about it the same as being modest? Not feeling comfortable may or may not be due to modesty Crystal...Speaking strictly for myself it is modesty...I think more people than not feel this way, most especially those who know exactly who they are (and why)......Ask yourself this, " Is posting a list of your attributes being narcissistic?"....See how easy it is for that door to swing either way? ......I think the truest measure of a man or a woman is not how they see themselves, but how others see them...
@ Warren...I think you're pretty too....
No, I don't think it's narcissistic. I lived with one for over 10 years and that's not how they work. They make sure they have OTHERS to tell the whole world how great they are, they don't really do it themselves. They portrait modesty themselves, but at the same time revel in the glory they get, and they make sure themselves that they get that by making sure they're surrounded by ppl that put the NPD on a pedestal. So basically if you rely on others to tell how gorgeous you are, that is closer to narcissism than when you do it yourself. But I'll not elaborate on that, I use my blog for that subject (and other things) nar·cis·sism noun \ˈnär-sə-ˌsiz-əm\ (Medical Dictionary) Medical Definition of NARCISSISM 1: love of or sexual desire for one's own body 2: the state or stage of development in psychoanalytic theory in which there is considerable erotic interest in one's own body and ego and which in abnormal forms persists through fixation or reappears through regression narcissism noun (Concise Encyclopedia) Mental disorder characterized by extreme self-absorption, an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and a need for attention and admiration from others. First identified by Havelock Ellis in 1898, the disorder is named for the mythological Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection. In addition to an inflated self-image and addiction to fantasy, narcissism is characterized by an unusual coolness and composure, which is shaken only when the narcissistic confidence is threatened, and by the tendency to take others for granted or to exploit them. That's a description, it's a serious personality disorder that cannot be explained nor described in a few sentences. I'm not going to debate it though. If you think that is how it works, fine with me. So ... I'm gonna go with Lionsbrew's suggestion of chocolate. Chocolate milk to be exact, enjoy that and then hit the sack. |
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PS, Leigh, do wanna thank you for your input
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There is also a fine line between being cocky and confident. Cockiness isn't attractive while confidence is and the line get skewed at times and there is a gray area which will always be open for interpretation. I probably am a bit narcissistic. However there is a saying. "One must first be able to honestly love themselves before they can honestly love another." Probably also written by a narcissist but anywho....
Really I wanted to see people posting and feeling good about themselves with some positive thinking and positive reinforcement from the great people of these forums. I see so many people everyday getting caught up in the negative parts of life that surround them that a lot of time we lose sight of what makes us who we are. Sometimes a shift of focus onto whats good about us as opposed to all the mundane bullchit that bombards us and beats us down. |
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Really I wanted to see people posting and feeling good about themselves with some positive thinking and positive reinforcement from the great people of these forums. I see so many people everyday getting caught up in the negative parts of life that surround them that a lot of time we lose sight of what makes us who we are. Sometimes a shift of focus onto whats good about us as opposed to all the mundane bullchit that bombards us and beats us down. It was a good plan. I'm one of many who don't often reflect on the positives about me. Not because I don't believe I have any positives, but as some have mentioned earlier, we live in a culture where it's often discouraged. As a result, I did find it hard but it was a nice exercise and one I may have to repeat with myself from time to time. Anyone ever watched Kid President? It's a fantastic youtube channel where this kid, who has so much energy, basically talks about why people should think and do things that make them awesome. Go watch it! |
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After Lionsbrew's last post I figure I will offer a serious answer, but not about what i think makes me attractive, but more about what I think I have to offer, which may or may not be the same thing to some.
1. I'm goal-oriented and come the end of December I will be finishing up a Dual-Bachelors 2. Even with a divorce, I don't think I have that much baggage, no kids, no baby-mama drama, and my ex, is that...an ex that I probably won't ever speak with again. 3. I try to be honest, probably to a fault, but you'll get the truth out of me, even if it may be something you don't want to hear. |
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1. I'm goal-oriented and come the end of December I will be finishing up a Dual-Bachelors Congratulations! What is your Bachelors in, if you don't mind me asking? |
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Edited by
isaac_dede
on
Mon 11/25/13 04:49 PM
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1. I'm goal-oriented and come the end of December I will be finishing up a Dual-Bachelors Congratulations! What is your Bachelors in, if you don't mind me asking? I don't mind at all, One is in Computer Network Administration, and the other is in Computer Network Security.  
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Every Canadian I've known is hot.
We've got several Canadian hotties right here on Mingle!!
Really? I hadn't noticed them. I guess I should look harder.
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