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| Topic: Taking a poll... | |
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If this were a regular occurrence, I would consider it a discourtesy for certain, but would need more reasons than getting carried away with his friends to doubt his honesty or fidelity.
Personally, I would not care for the situation, but would rather just assume he was going on an all nighter every time he goes out with these particular friends, than make it a battle between us...ie, cancel our plans and plan my own girls night, and let him know I'll refuse to make plans involving him on these days because I can't depend on him to keep them. 
Now if these are benders that result in drunk driving...he'd best armor up. 
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I do what I want and he does what he wants. All I care about is that he gets home safely and doesn't flake on me if we had plans. The rest is just details. I've been the girl who cares to much about what my man is doing and it never works out well. 
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A few times we did have plans/emergency right probably different circumstances ask different needs. if he is flaking on plans that is a lot different that be busy at work and forgetting to call which is totally understandable when someone flakes on plans they are disrespecting your time. |
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If this were a regular occurrence, I would consider it a discourtesy for certain, but would need more reasons than getting carried away with his friends to doubt his honesty or fidelity. Personally, I would not care for the situation, but would rather just assume he was going on an all nighter every time he goes out with these particular friends, than make it a battle between us...ie, cancel our plans and plan my own girls night, and let him know I'll refuse to make plans involving him on these days because I can't depend on him to keep them.
Now if these are benders that result in drunk driving...he'd best armor up.
if it was a regular occurrence would you stay? I am not sure I would. I would prefer someone who has a similar idea to my own. I know I have put up with a "flaker" before and it was not a pleasant experience. it took me awhile to realize I needed to end things. |
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I was asking about being told "going to lunch" at around noon and not coming home until 3:30am... Yes, there was a few texts after seven hours, and then nothing for seven or eight hours. I am not implying anything about not wanting them to go out with their friends, but as some others have said, about having consideration for the partner. Hmmm... More than 3 rounds of golf? 
There are only 4 things I've been able to do for 15hrs... and one of them, I've only been able to do once. 1> Gambling 2> major drunkfest 3> Women 4> Sleep |
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time limits, no time limits, wtf is wrong with the world today? if two people are in a committed relationship, what is so hard about being considerate of the other person? as an adult, you should be allowed freedom, but not be without discipline. why can't one person tell the other person their intentions and then be considerate. "honey, i'll be with some friends and should be home around 3am". at 2:30 when it's obvious you won't make it home by 3, a courtesy call should be made. "honey, looks like i may be home by noon tomorrow". i guarantee i guarantee communication works in relationships (bulldog double guarantee - patent pending) Why oh why didn't I stay in Texas and date you!!! |
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@ Eileen...I get you honey...Trust and courtesy are two separate issues....Relationship parameters are unique to the people involved and are usually established over time...If it was completely out of character (happening for the first time), after I loved him ALL OVER for an hour or two because I was so relieved to learn that he was OK, I would probable verbally kick his azz into next week for making me worry...I like the saying "What's good for the goose is good for the gander", but I also like the saying "Two wrongs don't make a right"...If the "buddy" time was happening regularly and without explanation, I would take myself out of the situation....I think it's safe to say most couples need a certain amount of anonymity from time to time, but trust in a relationship is not established by being inconsiderate or secretive...
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I was asking about being told "going to lunch" at around noon and not coming home until 3:30am... Yes, there was a few texts after seven hours, and then nothing for seven or eight hours. I am not implying anything about not wanting them to go out with their friends, but as some others have said, about having consideration for the partner. That is one heck of a long lunch. That would cause me concern too. Doesn't always mean trust is broken when somebody needs a Phone call, when they are drastically late worry for their safety often sets in. You worry if they have been in an accident , hurt or whatever. Does not always mean you have them on a leash. can also .means you care about them and worry about them. |
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I was asking about being told "going to lunch" at around noon and not coming home until 3:30am... Yes, there was a few texts after seven hours, and then nothing for seven or eight hours. I am not implying anything about not wanting them to go out with their friends, but as some others have said, about having consideration for the partner. Not all situations/people are the same. This sounds like something you have to deal with him about. It doesn't matter what the rest of us think. |
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When you are in a committed relationship and get asked to go out with "buddies" for lunch/hanging out, (without your partner) how long is an acceptable amount of time before sitting home and waiting starts to bug you/them? YOU'RE NOT MY MOM ! 
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When you are in a committed relationship and get asked to go out with "buddies" for lunch/hanging out, (without your partner) how long is an acceptable amount of time before sitting home and waiting starts to bug you/them? YOU'RE NOT MY MOM !
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If you're setting time limits on him/her, for anything, there's something seriously wrong with the relationship. If you expect him/her to call, "just to let you know he's okay", when he's out with the boys, there's something seriously wrong with the relationship. If you feel you have to call him/her, "just to see if he's okay", or to talk to him about something "important", when he's out somewhere without you, there's something seriously wrong with the relationship. If you sit at home worrying about just what exactly he's/ she's doing when he/she is out somewhere without you, there's something seriously wrong with the relationship. This I agree with.
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I disagree wtih motown I think calling to give your partner an idea of where you are and when to expect you is a responsible choice that shows consideration. I'd be concerned about the maturity level of someone who chafes at touching base to let me know what's up. Actually I would not date someone who has a bad attitude about that to begin with. I would certainly do that if the shoe was on the other foot. Something is seriously wrong with the relationship if you have a problem behaving with manners and consideration toward your partner I think couples should go out together anyway. Men who insist on their boy's nights are usually pretty immature...or up to no good. IME it's usually the latter. For long long time kimosabe have I been the single chick ya been hittin' on when your out without Wilma can't fool and old fool :) I disagree. Calling and checking in because the other person worries, is impatient or gets jealous world get old quickly. It's not immature to go out with your friends once in a while without the other person. yes it is immature - especially to chafe at the idea like a spolied child We'll have to agree to disagree. I still get together with my friends whether I'm dating someone or not. I don't feel that's immature in any way, so I wouldn't feel he's being immature when doing the same. I actually think its pretty healthy to keep up friendships when dating. I never want to be that person who only spends time with my boyfriend and no one else. This is so true. My friend has been married 27 years. He goes out with his friends and his wife goes out with her friends. Neither one calls when they are out or checks up on the other one. They are still happily married because they do give each other that freedom and they trust each other. |
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However many hours, days, weeks the dude wants.
And,,,, the good little wife sits home, patiently waiting. Any questions? Didn't think so! 
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My parents had their own friends and went their separate ways all the time and they joined together as a couple any times. They trusted each other and were married over 50 yrs happily until my mother died.
My dad says she was such an easy woman to live with |
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I still believe that this is a trust and insecurity issue
Maybe the lady sitting at home waiting should go find her own friends and things to do |
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I still believe that this is a trust and insecurity issue Maybe the lady sitting at home waiting should go find her own friends and things to do Please email me or change your age restrictions 
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Do it discreetly!
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I still believe that this is a trust and insecurity issue Maybe the lady sitting at home waiting should go find her own friends and things to do Please email me or change your age restrictions
I wasnt aware of the age restriction until now 
please dont take what I said as an attack against you Eileena..it was said in general |
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If this were a regular occurrence, I would consider it a discourtesy for certain, but would need more reasons than getting carried away with his friends to doubt his honesty or fidelity. Personally, I would not care for the situation, but would rather just assume he was going on an all nighter every time he goes out with these particular friends, than make it a battle between us...ie, cancel our plans and plan my own girls night, and let him know I'll refuse to make plans involving him on these days because I can't depend on him to keep them.
Now if these are benders that result in drunk driving...he'd best armor up.
if it was a regular occurrence would you stay? I am not sure I would. I would prefer someone who has a similar idea to my own. I know I have put up with a "flaker" before and it was not a pleasant experience. it took me awhile to realize I needed to end things. I also want someone with similar ideas as my own, but if this were one of few things we did not agree on, it's not something that would chase me off. So, if our relationship is strong otherwise, then this would be a compromise for me, because I would not care for it, but would accept it. Now, if he smells like perfume or sex when he climbs into bed after being out with the boys, it's a whole other story.
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