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| Topic: Why doesn’t love keep us together? | |
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce We can't avoid DV here in the United States either... so it's a good thing that we can divorce those who prefer to live aggressively and take their personal problems out on others. You know, they even categorize emotional abuse as part of DV too... who knew that being rude and spiteful to those around us could be classified as abuse... pretty soon even our thoughts will fit into some kind of category that we'll need therapy to cope with too... 
Emotional abuse as DV? Please! Are they sane? What is the world being changed into? B4 they started programming your thoughts, better leave ur country(lol) Yes, in doing a little Google search of Wikipedia we can find that our government has done studies that define emotional, mental, psychological abuse as being perpetrated by those who seek power, and control over others. And apparently, it has been discovered that we women are substantially more likely to exhibit psychological aggression, and that it can be regarded as a normalized element in dating. Jeezz… aggressive women is considered the norm now… yikes… the research goes on to tell us that subtler emotionally abusive tactics include insults, putdowns, arbitrary and unpredictable inconsistency, and gaslighting (the denial that previous abusive incidents occurred). Modern technology has led to new forms of abuse, by text messaging and online cyber-bullying. And it’s also stated that male and female perpetrators of emotional and physical abuse exhibit high rates of personality disorders. While abusers can be very manipulative, often recruiting friends, law officers and court officials, even the victim's family to their side, while shifting blame to the victim. This is the scary part to me… that abusers are so smooth they can fool anyone into believing they are right and the other is wrong. And then when a woman decides to protect herself from this type of arbitrary mistreatment, lets say by recording the behavior, she is looked on as the man hater... our world is truly spinning out of control... and no one is truly safe in any environment from those who want too and choose to abuse others... especially when they turn it into a big joke, so their public abuse can be applauded with laughter. 
Research, research! Everywhere is research. How r we going to live? Some research shows, some dont. Some say eat this for healthy diet, another says otherwise. I am fed up of them! On the topic of smooth abusers, here(like in the cappital and other big cities) cant believe how smooth they can get. The abuser plays the perfect husband and the perfect father and all of a sudden after a coupla years he pours acid on his wife's body or face(it has become a recent norm). Btw, congratulations on it being final Acid... wow! I imagine that's one obvious crime American men wouldn't skate on... and I don't know what's to be congratulated as I've been divorced for almost a year. But, thanx for the shout out... Oh, sorry. I just saw someone saying congra or something. Yeah, the crime here has escalated. Whats the most common form of abuse there? since they toughened DV laws where now whoever is the perpetrator, if the police are called, both are arrested, physical violence has slowed down somewhat. But, there is more verbal abuse that is really psychological abuse, bullying, whether it be in real time or cyber, it has increased tremendously, but with today's new technology all forms of abuse are being exposed via video and audio too.. in online sites, like Mingle, all someone has to do to prove cyber bullying is to follow the posts, and establish the patterns... it's not difficult to pick the bullies out just by the way they talk too or about other people... such as making sarcastic remarks about them on a continual basis.. and making it obvious to others by what they're saying who it is they're talking about... Also, turf warfare is another form of aggressive behavior... much like gangs control their communities out in the real world, there are people online that take over others turf, threads, and turn them into their own personal playgrounds.. when what they are actually doing is taking control away from the OP... or, flexing their muscle, for lack of a better term... abuse, however it's perpetrated, and by whoever perpetrates it, is a chronic problem, and there's no way to stop others from being unkind, so we conduct ourselves appropriately, note who the abusers are, and steer clear of them as much as possible.. |
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce We can't avoid DV here in the United States either... so it's a good thing that we can divorce those who prefer to live aggressively and take their personal problems out on others. You know, they even categorize emotional abuse as part of DV too... who knew that being rude and spiteful to those around us could be classified as abuse... pretty soon even our thoughts will fit into some kind of category that we'll need therapy to cope with too...
Emotional abuse as DV? Please! Are they sane? What is the world being changed into? B4 they started programming your thoughts, better leave ur country(lol) Yes, in doing a little Google search of Wikipedia we can find that our government has done studies that define emotional, mental, psychological abuse as being perpetrated by those who seek power, and control over others. And apparently, it has been discovered that we women are substantially more likely to exhibit psychological aggression, and that it can be regarded as a normalized element in dating. Jeezz… aggressive women is considered the norm now… yikes… the research goes on to tell us that subtler emotionally abusive tactics include insults, putdowns, arbitrary and unpredictable inconsistency, and gaslighting (the denial that previous abusive incidents occurred). Modern technology has led to new forms of abuse, by text messaging and online cyber-bullying. And it’s also stated that male and female perpetrators of emotional and physical abuse exhibit high rates of personality disorders. While abusers can be very manipulative, often recruiting friends, law officers and court officials, even the victim's family to their side, while shifting blame to the victim. This is the scary part to me… that abusers are so smooth they can fool anyone into believing they are right and the other is wrong. And then when a woman decides to protect herself from this type of arbitrary mistreatment, lets say by recording the behavior, she is looked on as the man hater... our world is truly spinning out of control... and no one is truly safe in any environment from those who want too and choose to abuse others... especially when they turn it into a big joke, so their public abuse can be applauded with laughter.
Research, research! Everywhere is research. How r we going to live? Some research shows, some dont. Some say eat this for healthy diet, another says otherwise. I am fed up of them! On the topic of smooth abusers, here(like in the cappital and other big cities) cant believe how smooth they can get. The abuser plays the perfect husband and the perfect father and all of a sudden after a coupla years he pours acid on his wife's body or face(it has become a recent norm). Btw, congratulations on it being final Acid... wow! I imagine that's one obvious crime American men wouldn't skate on... and I don't know what's to be congratulated as I've been divorced for almost a year. But, thanx for the shout out... Oh, sorry. I just saw someone saying congra or something. Yeah, the crime here has escalated. Whats the most common form of abuse there? since they toughened DV laws where now whoever is the perpetrator, if the police are called, both are arrested, physical violence has slowed down somewhat. But, there is more verbal abuse that is really psychological abuse, bullying, whether it be in real time or cyber, it has increased tremendously, but with today's new technology all forms of abuse are being exposed via video and audio too.. in online sites, like Mingle, all someone has to do to prove cyber bullying is to follow the posts, and establish the patterns... it's not difficult to pick the bullies out just by the way they talk too or about other people... such as making sarcastic remarks about them on a continual basis.. and making it obvious to others by what they're saying who it is they're talking about... Also, turf warfare is another form of aggressive behavior... much like gangs control their communities out in the real world, there are people online that take over others turf, threads, and turn them into their own personal playgrounds.. when what they are actually doing is taking control away from the OP... or, flexing their muscle, for lack of a better term... abuse, however it's perpetrated, and by whoever perpetrates it, is a chronic problem, and there's no way to stop others from being unkind, so we conduct ourselves appropriately, note who the abusers are, and steer clear of them as much as possible.. yeah, better to stay clear of them |
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce We can't avoid DV here in the United States either... so it's a good thing that we can divorce those who prefer to live aggressively and take their personal problems out on others. You know, they even categorize emotional abuse as part of DV too... who knew that being rude and spiteful to those around us could be classified as abuse... pretty soon even our thoughts will fit into some kind of category that we'll need therapy to cope with too...
Emotional abuse as DV? Please! Are they sane? What is the world being changed into? B4 they started programming your thoughts, better leave ur country(lol) Yes, in doing a little Google search of Wikipedia we can find that our government has done studies that define emotional, mental, psychological abuse as being perpetrated by those who seek power, and control over others. And apparently, it has been discovered that we women are substantially more likely to exhibit psychological aggression, and that it can be regarded as a normalized element in dating. Jeezz… aggressive women is considered the norm now… yikes… the research goes on to tell us that subtler emotionally abusive tactics include insults, putdowns, arbitrary and unpredictable inconsistency, and gaslighting (the denial that previous abusive incidents occurred). Modern technology has led to new forms of abuse, by text messaging and online cyber-bullying. And it’s also stated that male and female perpetrators of emotional and physical abuse exhibit high rates of personality disorders. While abusers can be very manipulative, often recruiting friends, law officers and court officials, even the victim's family to their side, while shifting blame to the victim. This is the scary part to me… that abusers are so smooth they can fool anyone into believing they are right and the other is wrong. And then when a woman decides to protect herself from this type of arbitrary mistreatment, lets say by recording the behavior, she is looked on as the man hater... our world is truly spinning out of control... and no one is truly safe in any environment from those who want too and choose to abuse others... especially when they turn it into a big joke, so their public abuse can be applauded with laughter.
Research, research! Everywhere is research. How r we going to live? Some research shows, some dont. Some say eat this for healthy diet, another says otherwise. I am fed up of them! On the topic of smooth abusers, here(like in the cappital and other big cities) cant believe how smooth they can get. The abuser plays the perfect husband and the perfect father and all of a sudden after a coupla years he pours acid on his wife's body or face(it has become a recent norm). Btw, congratulations on it being final Acid... wow! I imagine that's one obvious crime American men wouldn't skate on... and I don't know what's to be congratulated as I've been divorced for almost a year. But, thanx for the shout out... Oh, sorry. I just saw someone saying congra or something. Yeah, the crime here has escalated. Whats the most common form of abuse there? since they toughened DV laws where now whoever is the perpetrator, if the police are called, both are arrested, physical violence has slowed down somewhat. But, there is more verbal abuse that is really psychological abuse, bullying, whether it be in real time or cyber, it has increased tremendously, but with today's new technology all forms of abuse are being exposed via video and audio too.. in online sites, like Mingle, all someone has to do to prove cyber bullying is to follow the posts, and establish the patterns... it's not difficult to pick the bullies out just by the way they talk too or about other people... such as making sarcastic remarks about them on a continual basis.. and making it obvious to others by what they're saying who it is they're talking about... Also, turf warfare is another form of aggressive behavior... much like gangs control their communities out in the real world, there are people online that take over others turf, threads, and turn them into their own personal playgrounds.. when what they are actually doing is taking control away from the OP... or, flexing their muscle, for lack of a better term... abuse, however it's perpetrated, and by whoever perpetrates it, is a chronic problem, and there's no way to stop others from being unkind, so we conduct ourselves appropriately, note who the abusers are, and steer clear of them as much as possible.. yeah, better to stay clear of them 
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(And
Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce We can't avoid DV here in the United States either... so it's a good thing that we can divorce those who prefer to live aggressively and take their personal problems out on others. You know, they even categorize emotional abuse as part of DV too... who knew that being rude and spiteful to those around us could be classified as abuse... pretty soon even our thoughts will fit into some kind of category that we'll need therapy to cope with too...
Emotional abuse as DV? Please! Are they sane? What is the world being changed into? B4 they started programming your thoughts, better leave ur country(lol) Yes, in doing a little Google search of Wikipedia we can find that our government has done studies that define emotional, mental, psychological abuse as being perpetrated by those who seek power, and control over others. And apparently, it has been discovered that we women are substantially more likely to exhibit psychological aggression, and that it can be regarded as a normalized element in dating. Jeezz… aggressive women is considered the norm now… yikes… the research goes on to tell us that subtler emotionally abusive tactics include insults, putdowns, arbitrary and unpredictable inconsistency, and gaslighting (the denial that previous abusive incidents occurred). Modern technology has led to new forms of abuse, by text messaging and online cyber-bullying. And it’s also stated that male and female perpetrators of emotional and physical abuse exhibit high rates of personality disorders. While abusers can be very manipulative, often recruiting friends, law officers and court officials, even the victim's family to their side, while shifting blame to the victim. This is the scary part to me… that abusers are so smooth they can fool anyone into believing they are right and the other is wrong. And then when a woman decides to protect herself from this type of arbitrary mistreatment, lets say by recording the behavior, she is looked on as the man hater... our world is truly spinning out of control... Yes, I've noticed the same type of passive-aggressive behavior that you describe being posted on the boards all the time... And some people don't even bother to be subtle about it... so to me, that is more of an overtly aggressive type of offense, and it would be headline news to know how the other party being trashed really feels about it... |
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I hope no one construes my messages as intimidating. Life is too short to be all serious.
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(And Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce We can't avoid DV here in the United States either... so it's a good thing that we can divorce those who prefer to live aggressively and take their personal problems out on others. You know, they even categorize emotional abuse as part of DV too... who knew that being rude and spiteful to those around us could be classified as abuse... pretty soon even our thoughts will fit into some kind of category that we'll need therapy to cope with too...
Emotional abuse as DV? Please! Are they sane? What is the world being changed into? B4 they started programming your thoughts, better leave ur country(lol) Yes, in doing a little Google search of Wikipedia we can find that our government has done studies that define emotional, mental, psychological abuse as being perpetrated by those who seek power, and control over others. And apparently, it has been discovered that we women are substantially more likely to exhibit psychological aggression, and that it can be regarded as a normalized element in dating. Jeezz… aggressive women is considered the norm now… yikes… the research goes on to tell us that subtler emotionally abusive tactics include insults, putdowns, arbitrary and unpredictable inconsistency, and gaslighting (the denial that previous abusive incidents occurred). Modern technology has led to new forms of abuse, by text messaging and online cyber-bullying. And it’s also stated that male and female perpetrators of emotional and physical abuse exhibit high rates of personality disorders. While abusers can be very manipulative, often recruiting friends, law officers and court officials, even the victim's family to their side, while shifting blame to the victim. This is the scary part to me… that abusers are so smooth they can fool anyone into believing they are right and the other is wrong. And then when a woman decides to protect herself from this type of arbitrary mistreatment, lets say by recording the behavior, she is looked on as the man hater... our world is truly spinning out of control... Yes, I've noticed the same type of passive-aggressive behavior that you describe being posted on the boards all the time... And some people don't even bother to be subtle about it... so to me, that is more of an overtly aggressive type of offense, and it would be headline news to know how the other party being trashed really feels about it... You make a very good point...that intimidation tactics used against shy and humble people are meant to make them feel ashamed... if they have done anything that can be used in this manner against them, but if not, then I would also imagine that if someone is unfairly mistreated long enough, no matter how polite they want to be, they will stand up to those who think they are superior... Don't you think? |
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(And Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce We can't avoid DV here in the United States either... so it's a good thing that we can divorce those who prefer to live aggressively and take their personal problems out on others. You know, they even categorize emotional abuse as part of DV too... who knew that being rude and spiteful to those around us could be classified as abuse... pretty soon even our thoughts will fit into some kind of category that we'll need therapy to cope with too...
Emotional abuse as DV? Please! Are they sane? What is the world being changed into? B4 they started programming your thoughts, better leave ur country(lol) Yes, in doing a little Google search of Wikipedia we can find that our government has done studies that define emotional, mental, psychological abuse as being perpetrated by those who seek power, and control over others. And apparently, it has been discovered that we women are substantially more likely to exhibit psychological aggression, and that it can be regarded as a normalized element in dating. Jeezz… aggressive women is considered the norm now… yikes… the research goes on to tell us that subtler emotionally abusive tactics include insults, putdowns, arbitrary and unpredictable inconsistency, and gaslighting (the denial that previous abusive incidents occurred). Modern technology has led to new forms of abuse, by text messaging and online cyber-bullying. And it’s also stated that male and female perpetrators of emotional and physical abuse exhibit high rates of personality disorders. While abusers can be very manipulative, often recruiting friends, law officers and court officials, even the victim's family to their side, while shifting blame to the victim. This is the scary part to me… that abusers are so smooth they can fool anyone into believing they are right and the other is wrong. And then when a woman decides to protect herself from this type of arbitrary mistreatment, lets say by recording the behavior, she is looked on as the man hater... our world is truly spinning out of control... Yes, I've noticed the same type of passive-aggressive behavior that you describe being posted on the boards all the time... And some people don't even bother to be subtle about it... so to me, that is more of an overtly aggressive type of offense, and it would be headline news to know how the other party being trashed really feels about it... You make a very good point...that intimidation tactics used against shy and humble people are meant to make them feel ashamed... if they have done anything that can be used in this manner against them, but if not, then I would also imagine that if someone is unfairly mistreated long enough, no matter how polite they want to be, they will stand up to those who think they are superior... Don't you think? |
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? I just think, in a marriage some are not committed to life's peaks and valleys. We're ready for the peaks, but the valleys can run deep, and some can't climb and find their way back up to the peak. So they give up too easily and walk away, because they have a need to always have things be sparkly, and feel it, or they don't believe there is love holding it together at the root. They grow apart and it ends, as the branches reach toward the sun... |
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I hope no one construes my messages as intimidating. Life is too short to be all serious. Talking about controversial issues doesn't have to raise red flags... I don't know about anybody else, but, when people are rude or insulting to me, I don't look at it as an intimidation tactic, because there's nothing in my life that anyone can hang over my head to get me to dance... instead, others maladjusted behavior merely reflects badly on their own characters... so, they are the ones who should feel ashamed of themselves... and you're right, hippie, life is too short to take things too seriously... so, stop worrying about your messages being misconstrued... you've already admitted to being an ornery old coot, your words not mine, so, if you ever come across as such, I'll know it too will pass... 
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(And Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce We can't avoid DV here in the United States either... so it's a good thing that we can divorce those who prefer to live aggressively and take their personal problems out on others. You know, they even categorize emotional abuse as part of DV too... who knew that being rude and spiteful to those around us could be classified as abuse... pretty soon even our thoughts will fit into some kind of category that we'll need therapy to cope with too...
Emotional abuse as DV? Please! Are they sane? What is the world being changed into? B4 they started programming your thoughts, better leave ur country(lol) Yes, in doing a little Google search of Wikipedia we can find that our government has done studies that define emotional, mental, psychological abuse as being perpetrated by those who seek power, and control over others. And apparently, it has been discovered that we women are substantially more likely to exhibit psychological aggression, and that it can be regarded as a normalized element in dating. Jeezz… aggressive women is considered the norm now… yikes… the research goes on to tell us that subtler emotionally abusive tactics include insults, putdowns, arbitrary and unpredictable inconsistency, and gaslighting (the denial that previous abusive incidents occurred). Modern technology has led to new forms of abuse, by text messaging and online cyber-bullying. And it’s also stated that male and female perpetrators of emotional and physical abuse exhibit high rates of personality disorders. While abusers can be very manipulative, often recruiting friends, law officers and court officials, even the victim's family to their side, while shifting blame to the victim. This is the scary part to me… that abusers are so smooth they can fool anyone into believing they are right and the other is wrong. And then when a woman decides to protect herself from this type of arbitrary mistreatment, lets say by recording the behavior, she is looked on as the man hater... our world is truly spinning out of control... Yes, I've noticed the same type of passive-aggressive behavior that you describe being posted on the boards all the time... And some people don't even bother to be subtle about it... so to me, that is more of an overtly aggressive type of offense, and it would be headline news to know how the other party being trashed really feels about it... You make a very good point...that intimidation tactics used against shy and humble people are meant to make them feel ashamed... if they have done anything that can be used in this manner against them, but if not, then I would also imagine that if someone is unfairly mistreated long enough, no matter how polite they want to be, they will stand up to those who think they are superior... Don't you think?
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? I just think, in a marriage some are not committed to life's peaks and valleys. We're ready for the peaks, but the valleys can run deep, and some can't climb and find their way back up to the peak. So they give up too easily and walk away, because they have a need to always have things be sparkly, and feel it, or they don't believe there is love holding it together at the root. They grow apart and it ends, as the branches reach toward the sun... thank you for your thoughtful words on this subject... and I hope you will indulge me for a moment when I say... We talk about this subject quite often on the forums, and I've heard so many different people say that other married couples give up too easily, and that they don't fight to save their marriages... and that's why divorce is so prevalent, but how does anyone know what other couples really do before they call it quits for good? I filed for a divorce 3 times during my 18 year marriage, and rescinded two of them while continuing to try to make my marriage last until death do us part.. on the 3rd filing I knew there was no more trying left in me.. and I can't believe that I'm the only person who fought to keep my relationship going, as apposed to everyone else who allegedly throws in the towel without a second thought... especially if there are children involved too. |
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It prolly just depeneds...
today society accepts and promotes more open sexually ..placing less value on sexual morality when it comes to commitment towards a partner in a relationship or marriage.Being married is such a secondary obstacle and to many or most makes them more attractive to the oposite sex if they are formally taken for one reason or another. This does not promote the likelhood of a marriage to survive in. |
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I hope no one construes my messages as intimidating. Life is too short to be all serious. Talking about controversial issues doesn't have to raise red flags... I don't know about anybody else, but, when people are rude or insulting to me, I don't look at it as an intimidation tactic, because there's nothing in my life that anyone can hang over my head to get me to dance... instead, others maladjusted behavior merely reflects badly on their own characters... so, they are the ones who should feel ashamed of themselves... and you're right, hippie, life is too short to take things too seriously... so, stop worrying about your messages being misconstrued... you've already admitted to being an ornery old coot, your words not mine, so, if you ever come across as such, I'll know it too will pass...
I do not have cooties, I'm an ornery ol' cuss!
and divorce is still way too easy to get instead of working nonabusive differences out. |
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I hope no one construes my messages as intimidating. Life is too short to be all serious. Talking about controversial issues doesn't have to raise red flags... I don't know about anybody else, but, when people are rude or insulting to me, I don't look at it as an intimidation tactic, because there's nothing in my life that anyone can hang over my head to get me to dance... instead, others maladjusted behavior merely reflects badly on their own characters... so, they are the ones who should feel ashamed of themselves... and you're right, hippie, life is too short to take things too seriously... so, stop worrying about your messages being misconstrued... you've already admitted to being an ornery old coot, your words not mine, so, if you ever come across as such, I'll know it too will pass...
I do not have cooties, I'm an ornery ol' cuss!
and divorce is still way too easy to get instead of working nonabusive differences out.  how embarrassing, I'm so sorry for inferring that you have cooties... I hope you can forgive my slip of the tongue... 
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I hope no one construes my messages as intimidating. Life is too short to be all serious. Talking about controversial issues doesn't have to raise red flags... I don't know about anybody else, but, when people are rude or insulting to me, I don't look at it as an intimidation tactic, because there's nothing in my life that anyone can hang over my head to get me to dance... instead, others maladjusted behavior merely reflects badly on their own characters... so, they are the ones who should feel ashamed of themselves... and you're right, hippie, life is too short to take things too seriously... so, stop worrying about your messages being misconstrued... you've already admitted to being an ornery old coot, your words not mine, so, if you ever come across as such, I'll know it too will pass...
I do not have cooties, I'm an ornery ol' cuss!
and divorce is still way too easy to get instead of working nonabusive differences out. how embarrassing, I'm so sorry for inferring that you have cooties... I hope you can forgive my slip of the tongue...
instead you prefer to cuss...  me too.. it really helps to relieve my stress levels...  four letter words make me feel the best... almost powerful in their own weird kind of trash mouth way...
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? I just think, in a marriage some are not committed to life's peaks and valleys. We're ready for the peaks, but the valleys can run deep, and some can't climb and find their way back up to the peak. So they give up too easily and walk away, because they have a need to always have things be sparkly, and feel it, or they don't believe there is love holding it together at the root. They grow apart and it ends, as the branches reach toward the sun... thank you for your thoughtful words on this subject... and I hope you will indulge me for a moment when I say... We talk about this subject quite often on the forums, and I've heard so many different people say that other married couples give up too easily, and that they don't fight to save their marriages... and that's why divorce is so prevalent, but how does anyone know what other couples really do before they call it quits for good? I filed for a divorce 3 times during my 18 year marriage, and rescinded two of them while continuing to try to make my marriage last until death do us part.. on the 3rd filing I knew there was no more trying left in me.. and I can't believe that I'm the only person who fought to keep my relationship going, as apposed to everyone else who allegedly throws in the towel without a second thought... especially if there are children involved too. Well, it sounds as if you gave much and your all. You can be proud of that, Some things push it to a head, like cheating and violence, to name a few. So maybe not in those cases, depending on the circumstances...i am no ones judge. I see many breakups though, just because of a little indifference or or valley of tough times financially and things no one had specific control over. Plus some have their head in the clouds too much and it's not always realistic to a real life marriage scenario. Feelings can't be the only thing, that drives love, sometimes it's commitment. Love contains room for both IMO...hope I am making some sense to what you asked? |
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I hope no one construes my messages as intimidating. Life is too short to be all serious. Talking about controversial issues doesn't have to raise red flags... I don't know about anybody else, but, when people are rude or insulting to me, I don't look at it as an intimidation tactic, because there's nothing in my life that anyone can hang over my head to get me to dance... instead, others maladjusted behavior merely reflects badly on their own characters... so, they are the ones who should feel ashamed of themselves... and you're right, hippie, life is too short to take things too seriously... so, stop worrying about your messages being misconstrued... you've already admitted to being an ornery old coot, your words not mine, so, if you ever come across as such, I'll know it too will pass...
I do not have cooties, I'm an ornery ol' cuss!
and divorce is still way too easy to get instead of working nonabusive differences out. how embarrassing, I'm so sorry for inferring that you have cooties... I hope you can forgive my slip of the tongue...
instead you prefer to cuss... me too.. it really helps to relieve my stress levels... four letter words make me feel the best... almost powerful in their own weird kind of trash mouth way...
Well I don't blame the divorcer for getting one if they are in an abusive relationship....whether it be physical, mental, emotional or financial. Generally speaking (*gulp*), men seem to have a problem not being abusive...don't blame me guys, I'm just the messenger. I am not saying guys on mingle are abusive either, just so many divorces seem to have this as a root cause. |
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? I just think, in a marriage some are not committed to life's peaks and valleys. We're ready for the peaks, but the valleys can run deep, and some can't climb and find their way back up to the peak. So they give up too easily and walk away, because they have a need to always have things be sparkly, and feel it, or they don't believe there is love holding it together at the root. They grow apart and it ends, as the branches reach toward the sun... thank you for your thoughtful words on this subject... and I hope you will indulge me for a moment when I say... We talk about this subject quite often on the forums, and I've heard so many different people say that other married couples give up too easily, and that they don't fight to save their marriages... and that's why divorce is so prevalent, but how does anyone know what other couples really do before they call it quits for good? I filed for a divorce 3 times during my 18 year marriage, and rescinded two of them while continuing to try to make my marriage last until death do us part.. on the 3rd filing I knew there was no more trying left in me.. and I can't believe that I'm the only person who fought to keep my relationship going, as apposed to everyone else who allegedly throws in the towel without a second thought... especially if there are children involved too. Well, it sounds as if you gave much and your all. You can be proud of that, Some things push it to a head, like cheating and violence, to name a few. So maybe not in those cases, depending on the circumstances...i am no ones judge. I see many breakups though, just because of a little indifference or or valley of tough times financially and things no one had specific control over. Plus some have their head in the clouds too much and it's not always realistic to a real life marriage scenario. Feelings can't be the only thing, that drives love, sometimes it's commitment. Love contains room for both IMO...hope I am making some sense to what you asked? that is indeed sad news, to know that couples only want to stay together during the good times, but, as soon as the going gets tough, they get going... I'm wondering if the majority of these type marriages that give up so easily is occurring in the younger generation, say in their 20's and 30's? |
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I hope no one construes my messages as intimidating. Life is too short to be all serious. Talking about controversial issues doesn't have to raise red flags... I don't know about anybody else, but, when people are rude or insulting to me, I don't look at it as an intimidation tactic, because there's nothing in my life that anyone can hang over my head to get me to dance... instead, others maladjusted behavior merely reflects badly on their own characters... so, they are the ones who should feel ashamed of themselves... and you're right, hippie, life is too short to take things too seriously... so, stop worrying about your messages being misconstrued... you've already admitted to being an ornery old coot, your words not mine, so, if you ever come across as such, I'll know it too will pass...
I do not have cooties, I'm an ornery ol' cuss!
and divorce is still way too easy to get instead of working nonabusive differences out. how embarrassing, I'm so sorry for inferring that you have cooties... I hope you can forgive my slip of the tongue...
instead you prefer to cuss... me too.. it really helps to relieve my stress levels... four letter words make me feel the best... almost powerful in their own weird kind of trash mouth way...
Well I don't blame the divorcer for getting one if they are in an abusive relationship....whether it be physical, mental, emotional or financial. Generally speaking (*gulp*), men seem to have a problem not being abusive...don't blame me guys, I'm just the messenger. I am not saying guys on mingle are abusive either, just so many divorces seem to have this as a root cause. Yes, men tend to rely on abusive tactics to control women... I can understand their frustration with the way that women no longer respect their authority, and challenge them at every opportunity, but to turn their frustration into a criminal act against a woman, it's just so sad... |
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Hey everyone im new to this but ill tell ya something relationships suck sometimes when u think you're good for life she cheat
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