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| Topic: Why doesn’t love keep us together? | |
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I think FLAWS can also force a couple to separate, too. Depending on which kind of flaws. I don't mean the light kind, where he leaves a toilet seat up, or constantly talks about his dog, etc. I mean really harmful one's, like one's that have an impact on others, like talking rudely to their neighbours and insulting them, or maybe going around hurting animals. When people mention flaws, I always which kind they're talking about, because it can be confusing. Do they mean LIGHT EVERYDAY flaws, or HARMFUL flaws? Hope you're having an okay weekend.
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know |
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my parter an i wete togather 12years we had 3children after reciving a payout from a work injury i married her i got a high paying job for six months we were happy until i found a message on facebook from her old boy friend she told me nothing was going on and because i loved her i belived her while i was away working she emptied all bank accounts and took everything from me i came home to a tv fridge and my dog she allso left me 10000 in
dept .she moved to another town an moved in with this man no remorse no care for the kids father its like she turned a page and nothin exits from our previous life.i am left hurt broken and in a constant battle to spend time with my kids she has no remorse in any way how is this possible we had a loving relationship .respect and morals are gone in todays socitity |
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I think FLAWS can also force a couple to separate, too. Depending on which kind of flaws. I don't mean the light kind, where he leaves a toilet seat up, or constantly talks about his dog, etc. I mean really harmful one's, like one's that have an impact on others, like talking rudely to their neighbours and insulting them, or maybe going around hurting animals. When people mention flaws, I always which kind they're talking about, because it can be confusing. Do they mean LIGHT EVERYDAY flaws, or HARMFUL flaws? Hope you're having an okay weekend.
hi Rawrr_Girl, aside from this lingering head cold this weekend has been really peaceful, and somewhat creative, thank you for your well wish... I think the same way too... and it's much easier to see others flaws than our own. On one of the other threads we are to list our biggest one, but given each of our instinctive survival mechanisms that kicks in when we feel threatened, even emotionally, who will admit to themselves they have a serious flaw? Because they might have to change it then. So, when I think of flaws in a self descriptive context I tend to lean more on the light kind, though I am willing to admit more serious ones if they are pointed out to me in a way that is clearly understood, and their critique is meant to be for constructive purposes only.. I'm not real sure how to categorize flaws either... like you said, talking rudely to others, and harming animals, which shows a lack of character and no compassion, we consider to be worse than let's say, swearing in mixed company, or never cleaning up the mess we make, being lazy... And it's funny how when we first get together with a new person we think their flaws are cute, or acceptable, because we love everything else about them more... but as soon as the honeymoon phase is over, all we ever see are our flaws, and we either want the other person to change so we can find them more acceptable, or we don't care enough about them to try and work it out, so we break up. Either way, it is the flaws we see in each other that can tear us apart... that's why I choose to look at life and people as works in progress... |
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? |
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my parter an i wete togather 12years we had 3children after reciving a payout from a work injury i married her i got a high paying job for six months we were happy until i found a message on facebook from her old boy friend she told me nothing was going on and because i loved her i belived her while i was away working she emptied all bank accounts and took everything from me i came home to a tv fridge and my dog she allso left me 10000 in dept .she moved to another town an moved in with this man no remorse no care for the kids father its like she turned a page and nothin exits from our previous life.i am left hurt broken and in a constant battle to spend time with my kids she has no remorse in any way how is this possible we had a loving relationship .respect and morals are gone in todays socitity Welcome to Mingle, aussieoperator... your life situation is difficult news to process, I agree. And I hope you all can work out your differences for the children's sake. |
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country |
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO |
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce |
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce I totally get what you are saying Mik and furthermore your comment, "After all, this is a 3rd world country" IMHO was exactly right....3rd world countries are breeding grounds for domestic violence.... Although it is global, domestic violence prevails in 3rd world countries for obvious and significant reasons...Historically, in many 3rd world cultures domestic violence was/is considered a "fact" of life...It is "culturally" acceptable... Other contributing factors include sanctioning, protection under silence or privacy, poverty, inferior or no education, patriarchal societies, limited or no assistance (of any kind) to abused women and their children and more....
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce I totally get what you are saying Mik and furthermore your comment, "After all, this is a 3rd world country" IMHO was exactly right....3rd world countries are breeding grounds for domestic violence.... Although it is global, domestic violence prevails in 3rd world countries for obvious and significant reasons...Historically, in many 3rd world cultures domestic violence was/is considered a "fact" of life...It is "culturally" acceptable... Other contributing factors include sanctioning, protection under silence or privacy, poverty, inferior or no education, patriarchal societies, limited or no assistance (of any kind) to abused women and their children and more....
[/quote Hey, Leigh. U r right about the other contributing factors. I totally agree with u. Do u know any country that considers divorce as a sin?(not the expression but literally)? I am not bragging but it is the truth. It is my country. There are slight individuals who think it is absurd but without exaggerating 99% of the population think it as a sin |
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Edited by
Leigh2154
on
Sun 03/17/13 06:03 AM
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce I totally get what you are saying Mik and furthermore your comment, "After all, this is a 3rd world country" IMHO was exactly right....3rd world countries are breeding grounds for domestic violence.... Although it is global, domestic violence prevails in 3rd world countries for obvious and significant reasons...Historically, in many 3rd world cultures domestic violence was/is considered a "fact" of life...It is "culturally" acceptable... Other contributing factors include sanctioning, protection under silence or privacy, poverty, inferior or no education, patriarchal societies, limited or no assistance (of any kind) to abused women and their children and more....
Hey, Leigh. U r right about the other contributing factors. I totally agree with u. Do u know any country that considers divorce as a sin?(not the expression but literally)? I am not bragging but it is the truth. It is my country. There are slight individuals who think it is absurd but without exaggerating 99% of the population think it as a sin Hey Mik  I knew that many consider it a sin, but I had no idea it was 99%...Talking with you makes me appreciate my country even more...
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Edited by
AthenaRose2
on
Sun 03/17/13 06:33 AM
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Tammy Wynette relates her own version of why couples don't stay married for a lifetime....
D-I-V-O-R-C-E http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2o9-jmtNoU Our divorce becomes final today...  
****************************************************** |
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce I totally get what you are saying Mik and furthermore your comment, "After all, this is a 3rd world country" IMHO was exactly right....3rd world countries are breeding grounds for domestic violence.... Although it is global, domestic violence prevails in 3rd world countries for obvious and significant reasons...Historically, in many 3rd world cultures domestic violence was/is considered a "fact" of life...It is "culturally" acceptable... Other contributing factors include sanctioning, protection under silence or privacy, poverty, inferior or no education, patriarchal societies, limited or no assistance (of any kind) to abused women and their children and more....
Hey, Leigh. U r right about the other contributing factors. I totally agree with u. Do u know any country that considers divorce as a sin?(not the expression but literally)? I am not bragging but it is the truth. It is my country. There are slight individuals who think it is absurd but without exaggerating 99% of the population think it as a sin Hey Mik I knew that many consider it a sin, but I had no idea it was 99%...Talking with you makes me appreciate my country even more...
Leigh, what i meant was the population practice it whatever the case is(of course the bible and kuran say it). It really interests me. What I believe is that divorce is the last resort to couples' separation |
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce We can't avoid DV here in the United States either... so it's a good thing that we can divorce those who prefer to live aggressively and take their personal problems out on others. You know, they even categorize emotional abuse as part of DV too... who knew that being rude and spiteful to those around us could be classified as abuse... pretty soon even our thoughts will fit into some kind of category that we'll need therapy to cope with too... 
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce I totally get what you are saying Mik and furthermore your comment, "After all, this is a 3rd world country" IMHO was exactly right....3rd world countries are breeding grounds for domestic violence.... Although it is global, domestic violence prevails in 3rd world countries for obvious and significant reasons...Historically, in many 3rd world cultures domestic violence was/is considered a "fact" of life...It is "culturally" acceptable... Other contributing factors include sanctioning, protection under silence or privacy, poverty, inferior or no education, patriarchal societies, limited or no assistance (of any kind) to abused women and their children and more....
Hey, Leigh. U r right about the other contributing factors. I totally agree with u. Do u know any country that considers divorce as a sin?(not the expression but literally)? I am not bragging but it is the truth. It is my country. There are slight individuals who think it is absurd but without exaggerating 99% of the population think it as a sin Hey Mik I knew that many consider it a sin, but I had no idea it was 99%...Talking with you makes me appreciate my country even more...
Leigh, what i meant was the population practice it whatever the case is(of course the bible and kuran say it). It really interests me. What I believe is that divorce is the last resort to couples' separation  I share that belief Mik...Divorce should always be a "last" resort...
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Breaking Up is Hard to Do - The Carpenters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpulStzGv4A Don't say this is the end 
Instead of breaking up 
I wish we were making up again 
****************************************************** |
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce We can't avoid DV here in the United States either... so it's a good thing that we can divorce those who prefer to live aggressively and take their personal problems out on others. You know, they even categorize emotional abuse as part of DV too... who knew that being rude and spiteful to those around us could be classified as abuse... pretty soon even our thoughts will fit into some kind of category that we'll need therapy to cope with too...
Emotional abuse as DV? Please! Are they sane? What is the world being changed into? B4 they started programming your thoughts, better leave ur country(lol) |
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Why don’t marriages last for lifetimes anymore? Is one of the reasons because most women work and don’t have to rely on men for their support, so they are more independent minded? What are other reasons? You know Athenarose, here divorces are almost rare. In the big cities there are hardly any unlike ur country. So I cant really give any straight answer 4 a problem I dont know Wow, that's awesome... but does domestic violence take the place of divorce? Honestly, sure there is domestic violence specially in the rural areas. Some in the cities too. Afterall this is a 3rd world country Being a third world country doesn't cause domestic violence between spouses... spouses perpetrate DV on each other... and it seems to me that if couples don't divorce but stay together no matter what, that there will be a lot more DV because there's no way out of unhappy relationships... JMHO What i am saying is that in a third world country u cant avoid domestic violence. I didnt say it causes it. In a 3rd world country it is hard to find justice in domestic violence. Thats why it is hard to stop it. In the bigger cities it is another matter. First of all DV is rare. In addition the ppl living in the cities are very civilized. If couples have a healthy relationships and respect one another(which most couples in the cities do) no DV can occur. Here, we are a deeply religious ppl(whether christian or muslim) and dont believe in divorce I totally get what you are saying Mik and furthermore your comment, "After all, this is a 3rd world country" IMHO was exactly right....3rd world countries are breeding grounds for domestic violence.... Although it is global, domestic violence prevails in 3rd world countries for obvious and significant reasons...Historically, in many 3rd world cultures domestic violence was/is considered a "fact" of life...It is "culturally" acceptable... Other contributing factors include sanctioning, protection under silence or privacy, poverty, inferior or no education, patriarchal societies, limited or no assistance (of any kind) to abused women and their children and more....
Hey, Leigh. U r right about the other contributing factors. I totally agree with u. Do u know any country that considers divorce as a sin?(not the expression but literally)? I am not bragging but it is the truth. It is my country. There are slight individuals who think it is absurd but without exaggerating 99% of the population think it as a sin Hey Mik I knew that many consider it a sin, but I had no idea it was 99%...Talking with you makes me appreciate my country even more...
Leigh, what i meant was the population practice it whatever the case is(of course the bible and kuran say it). It really interests me. What I believe is that divorce is the last resort to couples' separation I share that belief Mik...Divorce should always be a "last" resort...
So why last in quotation? |
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